Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Neither, really. If my man ran off with another woman I'd probably think he left me because there was something wrong with me. If he left me for another man it'd still hurt but I think that I could forgive him for it since it would mean that he's been struggling with personal issues for a long time and it had less to do with me personally.
BTW. I have a brother in law who did this. After 18 years of marriage and four kids, he decides he's gay.
Now that is just despicable, living a total lie for 18 years, lying to the wife, leading her to believe it was death til they part, lying to four kids. This is worse then cheating in my opinion
Hard to say without having been in that actual circumstance.
What I think would happen is, if he left for another woman, I would simply have him killed.
If he left for a man, while I would be hurt, I love him enough to be happy that he is finally living true to himself and I would wish him well. At least if he left for a man, he & I could still be friends, we could still talk, and he would still be here to make me laugh.
I don't see either scenario ever happening, thankfully.
AliceT, I am so sorry that you are still feeling the loss so deeply. I understand what you meant about him still being here if he had left you for another man. That's how I feel exactly.
I don't think the guy decided to be gay after 18 years- he was gay or bi and finally decided to come out.
Personally I won't pass judgement because society can be downright hostile towards gay men. That doesn't condone his choices, but it is what it is. I am a firm believer that if people weren't so homophobic- situations like those would happen a lot less.
To answer the OP's question, both scenarios would suck but if my SO left me for another man I think I wouldn't hurt as much as if it was a woman. Whatever he needed from another guy I could never provide. Being left for another woman hurts like a son.of.a.beach, I would know this first hand.
I have two friends who's marriages broke up and the wife was gay. Of all the guys on the rebound that I know, they seem to have it easier and talk about it with a laugh. they felt better about them selves since they found out they were trying to attempt the impossible by trying love a lesbian. I fell hard for a lesbian once, but I knew she was, and she didn't know that I knew she was(kinda your baptist backsliding lesbian type) I know a few more people who tried to make it work with gay or lesbian people. Some fall so hard they just let them live double a life. I would hope if my wife left me she was gay. but then I might be egotistical
I've been left for another woman and the pain was unbearable. At least if it was for another guy I wouldn't have blamed myself for as long. One of my friends' husbands left her for a man after 20 years of marriage. After 20 years I'm not sure it would be much of a difference, pain is pain.
If my wife left me for another man then that is one hell of a pain.. But if my wife left me with another woman then I must be lacking something that she would need another women to fill the gaps that I had created that no man can fill.. either way it will still hurt and the psychological effect on the kids will be great..
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
