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Old 05-19-2009, 01:31 PM
 
Location: Philly
1,776 posts, read 2,587,151 times
Reputation: 800

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I really hate saying 'I love you' to my girl if I don't feel inclined to do so. I think it cheapens the meaning if I utter it all the time. And I hate the obligatory 'I love you too' as a follow-up to her saying it first. When I do feel it, I say it, but due to personality I'm not one to say it every day.

Anybody else?

How do you handle this situation?
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Old 05-19-2009, 01:37 PM
 
1,072 posts, read 1,613,191 times
Reputation: 492
Quote:
Originally Posted by IZthe411 View Post
I really hate saying 'I love you' to my girl if I don't feel inclined to do so. I think it cheapens the meaning if I utter it all the time. And I hate the obligatory 'I love you too' as a follow-up to her saying it first. When I do feel it, I say it, but due to personality I'm not one to say it every day.

Anybody else?

How do you handle this situation?
I'm of similar personality and mentality in this situation: if you say the "ILU" words as often as I say hello to people everyday, it would lower the quality of those three words. Not to mention that back in my single days, I've had men say those three words just to get inside my skirt, so I know better to look for love in actions vs. words.

I suggest you have a romantic dinner (perhaps, you can cook, so your effort would count as well) w/ her, and tell her that

(1) you do love her, but

(2) you are a man of "action" rather than words, and that you vow to show her that you love her in everyday's little things you do for her (hence, she can't expect you to say that multiple times everyday).
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Old 05-19-2009, 01:40 PM
 
Location: Philly
1,776 posts, read 2,587,151 times
Reputation: 800
Quote:
Originally Posted by sms0511 View Post
I'm of similar personality and mentality in this situation: if you say the "ILU" words as often as I say hello to people everyday, it would lower the quality of those three words. Not to mention that back in my single days, I've had men say those three words just to get inside my skirt, so I know better to look for love in actions vs. words.

I suggest you have a romantic dinner (perhaps, you can cook, so your effort would count as well) w/ her, and tell her that

(1) you do love her, but

(2) you are a man of "action" rather than words, and that you vow to show her that you love her in everyday's little things you do for her (hence, she can't expect you to say that multiple times everyday).
I like that approach!

I do want to talk to her about it- I think that will go farther than sometimes acting like I don't hear it when she says it.

Thanks!
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Old 05-19-2009, 02:03 PM
 
Location: I never said I was perfect so no refunds here sorry!
6,373 posts, read 3,852,338 times
Reputation: 29305
So you've told her already at some point that you loved her, now that first time you conveyed that love was it genuine and real? If it was truly genuine and real then each day thereafter you still love her. It's not a matter of loving her today and tomorrow maybe not, more so a personality trait of yours to not be as loving tomorrow as you were today. So I'd love to be a fly on the wall when you decide to try and convey that message across. If you love her then it shouldn't be a problem telling her so. However, if it was a momentary euphoric high that you allowed yourself to utter those words then shame on you. Please no disrespect intended but it doesn't sound like thats where you want to be.
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Old 05-19-2009, 02:11 PM
 
Location: Philly
1,776 posts, read 2,587,151 times
Reputation: 800
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dbl-r View Post
So you've told her already at some point that you loved her, now that first time you conveyed that love was it genuine and real? If it was truly genuine and real then each day thereafter you still love her. It's not a matter of loving her today and tomorrow maybe not, more so a personality trait of yours to not be as loving tomorrow as you were today. So I'd love to be a fly on the wall when you decide to try and convey that message across. If you love her then it shouldn't be a problem telling her so. However, if it was a momentary euphoric high that you allowed yourself to utter those words then shame on you. Please no disrespect intended but it doesn't sound like thats where you want to be.
No that's not what I mean. People love differently and express it in different ways. Like mentioned, I feel that talk is cheap, after a while it loses it's meaning. I don't like having to utter the words multiple times every day, or at the same time every day, like some rote ritual. That doesn't mean that I don't feel the love, and in any healthy relationship you have days when you are moved to do certain things over others.
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Old 05-19-2009, 02:11 PM
 
4,838 posts, read 5,184,966 times
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Default Why say it if you're not feeling it?

Quote:
Originally Posted by IZthe411 View Post
How do you handle this situation?
Remember. Guys who can fake sincerity, have it made.

Reconsider if you have trouble looking in the mirror in the morning.
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Old 05-19-2009, 02:13 PM
 
Location: Philly
1,776 posts, read 2,587,151 times
Reputation: 800
Quote:
Originally Posted by NotARedneck View Post
Remember. Guys who can fake sincerity, have it made.

Reconsider if you have trouble looking in the mirror in the morning.
I don't want to fake anything.

Is it that much of a bad thing to let your SO know, you love them, yet the need to continuously say it over and over again kills it for you?
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Old 05-19-2009, 02:26 PM
 
Location: I never said I was perfect so no refunds here sorry!
6,373 posts, read 3,852,338 times
Reputation: 29305
Quote:
Originally Posted by IZthe411 View Post
No that's not what I mean. People love differently and express it in different ways. Like mentioned, I feel that talk is cheap, after a while it loses it's meaning. I don't like having to utter the words multiple times every day, or at the same time every day, like some rote ritual. That doesn't mean that I don't feel the love, and in any healthy relationship you have days when you are moved to do certain things over others.
Good luck with that! I understand what you are saying and sometimes it may seem a lil much perhaps. Now put yourself in her shoes as she looks into your eyes and whispers she loves you.......no response certainly reduces or eliminates any value of that exchange of conversation and feelings at that point.....wow good luck
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Old 05-19-2009, 02:33 PM
 
Location: Bradenton, Florida
27,237 posts, read 27,174,260 times
Reputation: 10607
Just say, "I know". Chicks dig that.

But seriously, have a talk with her, and tell her that it's hard for you to express it in words.

The 5 Love Languages...just because you don't communicate it the same way she does, doesn't mean that you don't express it some other way.
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Old 05-19-2009, 05:21 PM
ECG
 
Location: In the minds of others
42,606 posts, read 1,945,908 times
Reputation: 10386
I think there is LOVE and there is LOVE...When I really like someone that I feel good with and think of that person 24/7 I say , Love you or Luv Ya, when I am really really in LOVE with someone I say: I love you ____.
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