Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Because of my unusual personality and poor social skills I really do not have many friends. Even though I talk about my friends, I have determined that these men and women are really just people I work with, neighbors, and business associates. Usually when I am out in public I am alone.
I walk through the mall alone, eat lunch alone and walk up and down the street alone. I am starting to feel self conscious and lonely. I think people are starting to notice that I am all alone most of the time. It makes it even harder to make friends.
Would you feel isolated or ill at ease if you were to eat at a sit down restaurant all alone? It seems like everyone I see is always with tons of friends except for me.
Restaurant, no. Museums, and other "tourist" attractions--I don't go by myself. I'd LIKE to go, but I just never do.
Unfortunately, people do stare and think neg thoughts if you're dining alone especially as a female. If it's McDonalds most people could care less but if it's nicer then that's when they start to prejudge you as somehow 'defective'. And it's worse if you indeed have no friends to dine or hang out with. You need to work on that.
For the time being, as a temporary fix, when you're at a restaurant alone, make sure you bring a good magazine or Wall st Journal or Business Times. It will give the appearance that you're here on business and don't know anyone in town.
Before you enter the restaurant or just about when you find out when you're going to be seated, put your cell on vibrate and set the alarm to within the next five minutes. Make sure it's a musical type alarm because when it goes off it'll sound like you just received a call.
After you've 'answered' and carried on a 'conversation', reset it again for the next minute. You can keep on 'receiving' calls answering them and resetting the alarm. You'll probably hardly even touched your expensive dinner since your phone will be ringing off the hook!
Oh and have fun with it. Pretend you're talking to some repair guy who's trying to rip you off or some sleazebag who wants to bed you. You get the idea. Also when you're on the phone, people will naturally look at you.
If it's a member of the opposite sex, you can stare back politely since you're talking to someone else on the phone. Then hang up and say to that person looking at you, "imagine the nerve of that guy!"
Then proceed to tell him about the jerk on the phone and who knows? Maybe you'll have drinks with him (the guy at the restaurant staring at you) during and after dinner and possibly make a friend. A real one. Just say, "gawd do I need a drink, would you care for one?"
OK, for the record, I thought my train of thought was obvious, but I was being serious. lol
If we were all raised to believe that meal time was isolation time, as opposed to time for everyone to get together, everything about eating out would be totally different. So, let's say, instead, that when dinner time rolled around, my mom called me, handed me a plate, and said, "Here, Blazejen. There's a dark little corner over there prepared just for you." And she sent my sister to a different dark little corner. And so on. And everyone did that. Eating out in a group would then be as uncomfortable as going to the bathroom en masse.
I was just elaborating on why I think a lot of people feel uncomfortable eating out alone.
Silence, thou blasphemy is contemptuous, however, thou is forgiven.
Quote:
Originally Posted by blazejen
OK, for the record, I thought my train of thought was obvious, but I was being serious. lol
If we were all raised to believe that meal time was isolation time, as opposed to time for everyone to get together, everything about eating out would be totally different. So, let's say, instead, that when dinner time rolled around, my mom called me, handed me a plate, and said, "Here, Blazejen. There's a dark little corner over there prepared just for you." And she sent my sister to a different dark little corner. And so on. And everyone did that. Eating out in a group would then be as uncomfortable as going to the bathroom en masse.
I was just elaborating on why I think a lot of people feel uncomfortable eating out alone.
that i feel more ill- at- ease when i am alone and in close proximity of those who are judgmental. I once was shopping alone in a Bed & Bath on a weekend and a co-worker(I felt she had gotten nasty and perhaps judgmental of me in the past and cliquish as well) and her mom were in the same aisle as me. I turned red and walked away from them as fast as i could
But most of the time I am comfortable with being alone.
In fact, when i travel alone to visit my parents I feel very comfortable either driving and eating alone and staying in the hotel alone. No problem
It seems when i am alone and in the presence of others who do not know me they cannot judge me so i am more at ease. I can project the image i want or just run or walk away whenever i please
I have known people who are more outgoing than me and will go to a movie alone; i never could do that
Alone, with friends, whatever. I don't care. I have a lot of self-esteem and I don't give it a second thought if people wonder why I'm alone. I'm perfectly comfortable in my own skin.
Co-sign. I like being around loved ones, whatever. I also like my solitude.
I'm pretty comfortable being in public by myself, although I never have gone to a movie by myself...seems a little odd, but I have no problem going solo to the gym, eating in public even in a nicer place (in the lounge), going to the mall, riding public transportation, sightseeing, and doing probably a lot of other things that I can't immediately recall.
I never understood this, though it's a popular occurrence. Going to a movie has to be one of the least social activities there is but most people seem to have a mental stigma against attending them alone.
The only I think I have a problem doing alone is restaurant dining. I also don't go out to clubs/bars alone b/c that for me is about enjoying the company of friends. The funny thing is when I do go out with my friends/family, even just shopping, there is always a point where they end up looking for me when my ADHD kicks in and I walk off in another direction w/o telling anyone I'm leaving.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Of course going with a friend occaisionally is okay, but why be embarrassed? 
I find
