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Old 05-21-2009, 04:05 PM
 
54 posts, read 224,716 times
Reputation: 35

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I have been married for about 5 years and the last two have been difficult for me. My wife has grown apart from me sexually. We have sex on average once a month or less. When we do have sex she says get it over with and just lies there. I am a sexual person and this is very troubling for me. Within the last 2 months I have noticed that my wife looks at internet porn often when I am away for up to 30 minutes a time. I am very distraught over this because I think that she should be having these feelings for me. I do look at porn as often as my wife but would much rather be with my wife. I have tried to talk to her and confronted her about this. I even tried to leave but she doesn't want me to leave. How can a woman be with a man that she is unwilling to have sex with?


Does this mean she is done with me???????

 
Old 05-21-2009, 04:12 PM
 
25,157 posts, read 53,798,865 times
Reputation: 7057
Yes. Everything is over.

Quote:
Originally Posted by bif24701 View Post


Does this mean she is done with me???????
 
Old 05-21-2009, 04:19 PM
 
Location: Somewhere out there...
3,663 posts, read 8,633,940 times
Reputation: 3750
Quote:
Originally Posted by bif24701 View Post
I have been married for about 5 years and the last two have been difficult for me. My wife has grown apart from me sexually. We have sex on average once a month or less. When we do have sex she says get it over with and just lies there. I am a sexual person and this is very troubling for me. Within the last 2 months I have noticed that my wife looks at internet porn often when I am away for up to 30 minutes a time. I am very distraught over this because I think that she should be having these feelings for me. I do look at porn as often as my wife but would much rather be with my wife. I have tried to talk to her and confronted her about this. I even tried to leave but she doesn't want me to leave. How can a woman be with a man that she is unwilling to have sex with?


Does this mean she is done with me???????

Yes.
 
Old 05-21-2009, 04:27 PM
 
54 posts, read 224,716 times
Reputation: 35
Should I try a seperation or just get it over with?
 
Old 05-21-2009, 04:31 PM
 
2,057 posts, read 5,470,451 times
Reputation: 1032
If I was in your shoes.........

I would move on with my life and file for a divorce.

And start looking for another women

Best of luck
 
Old 05-21-2009, 04:38 PM
 
Location: In my skin
9,230 posts, read 16,490,238 times
Reputation: 9174
Quote:
Originally Posted by bif24701 View Post
I have been married for about 5 years and the last two have been difficult for me. My wife has grown apart from me sexually. We have sex on average once a month or less. When we do have sex she says get it over with and just lies there. I am a sexual person and this is very troubling for me. Within the last 2 months I have noticed that my wife looks at internet porn often when I am away for up to 30 minutes a time. I am very distraught over this because I think that she should be having these feelings for me. I do look at porn as often as my wife but would much rather be with my wife. I have tried to talk to her and confronted her about this. I even tried to leave but she doesn't want me to leave. How can a woman be with a man that she is unwilling to have sex with?


Does this mean she is done with me???????
Yes. When she is replacing you with porn, it's pretty much a done deal.
 
Old 05-21-2009, 04:42 PM
 
Location: I never said I was perfect so no refunds here sorry!
6,488 posts, read 7,153,343 times
Reputation: 29850
One evening while setting in church the pastor was talking about people and relationships in general and in his conversation he said; Usually in a relationship the party or honeymoon only last for a year maybe two if your lucky! - after that people need to learn to love each other as friends and as individuals....Wow what a powerful statement!
Made me set back and gain a whole new appreciation for my wife and our relationship.

So, with that you ask is she done with me? I suppose I'd need to ask you what else do you have in common or do with each other outside of sex? Do you get her out of the house or apt.?
What quality time do you spend together enjoying something outside of sex?
If the answer is none then you may be developing a problem that will be hard but not impossible to work out.
 
Old 05-21-2009, 04:47 PM
 
54 posts, read 224,716 times
Reputation: 35
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dbl-r View Post
One evening while setting in church the pastor was talking about people and relationships in general and in his conversation he said; Usually in a relationship the party or honeymoon only last for a year maybe two if your lucky! - after that people need to learn to love each other as friends and as individuals....Wow what a powerful statement!
Made me set back and gain a whole new appreciation for my wife and our relationship.

So, with that you ask is she done with me? I suppose I'd need to ask you what else do you have in common or do with each other outside of sex? Do you get her out of the house or apt.?
What quality time do you spend together enjoying something outside of sex?
If the answer is none then you may be developing a problem that will be hard but not impossible to work out.

Thank You for your thoughts. We share many activities together and enjoy doing things together. However I wanted a wife not a roommate.
 
Old 05-21-2009, 04:48 PM
'M'
 
Location: Glendale Country Club
1,949 posts, read 3,173,807 times
Reputation: 2798
Guys, if the tables were turned, and it was guy who was looking at porn when his wife was away, etc etc... would you tell her to divorce him? Many guys look at porn as a matter of routine. Some people think that it is "normal". What do you think?
 
Old 05-21-2009, 04:51 PM
 
54 posts, read 224,716 times
Reputation: 35
Quote:
Originally Posted by 'M' View Post
Guys, if the tables were turned, and it was guy who was looking at porn when his wife was away, etc etc... would you tell her to divorce him? Many guys look at porn as a matter of routine. Some people think that it is "normal". What do you think?

Yea but that guy would not denie his wife sex and reject her each night. Right?
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