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Old 05-22-2009, 11:20 PM
 
Location: Griffin, Georgia
747 posts, read 1,812,052 times
Reputation: 705

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Please tell the male board members that women do NOT like desparate men any more than the other way around. So I have one date with someone I met online. This week before meeting he seems over-reaching to me, calling me sweetie and says he's dying to meet me (I mean, repeatedly.) He lives an hour south of me (Macon) and works in a program that sounds like job rehab or something. Has no car present and no where else to live other than the Salvation Army program campus. So that means I had to drive to meet him. Has no money so I pick up the tab. He's like super good to me otherwise...always getting my door and holding my hand in public. NOw I wasn't raised to travel to men or pick up the tab for them, for the obvious reasons. Trouble is he wants to book a room for our SECOND date-Im not kidding you guys-wants to spend the night in a motel with me on a second date! He wants to "give me a bubble bath, a body massage, and won't push if I don't want to have sex" but this just scares the crap out of me. I think Im just going to make up an excuse to get out of the motel issue. Itll be Memorial Day and it'll be tricky but at the last minute I can back out. Oh and he is already professing undying love loyalty, "Where do you see y ourself in 15 years?" I asked he said "Married to you". Now this would normally seem flattering, but to me and most women it jsut strikes me as stalker-ish. What to do?
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Old 05-22-2009, 11:27 PM
 
168 posts, read 483,319 times
Reputation: 234
This is WAY too much for a first, second or even third date! His behaviour was not only smothering and very presumptive, but also downright creepy! I dated a guy similar to that once and it totally turned me off. I never went out with him again after the first date. Am I right in understanding that this man has no car, is virtually homeless and in some sort of job program?
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Old 05-22-2009, 11:30 PM
 
Location: Earth.
179 posts, read 543,470 times
Reputation: 144
I'm sure his intentions aren't too terrible but he is coming off as CREEPY.

Run. . .
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Old 05-22-2009, 11:31 PM
 
Location: So. Dak.
13,495 posts, read 34,055,852 times
Reputation: 15063
Your instincts are correct. Don't see him again. It isn't the fact that he's down and out, but it's his actions and words. He could be looking for a home and money and wants to rush the relationship along. Or worse yet, he sounds like he could be co-dependent. He'd cling to you and smother you. RUN, girl!!!
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Old 05-22-2009, 11:34 PM
 
Location: Colorado Springs, CO
1,570 posts, read 5,312,694 times
Reputation: 1391
I think this sounds dangerous! Yes, dangerous. This is stalker material. Don't see him again. Cut off all contact.
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Old 05-22-2009, 11:46 PM
 
3,853 posts, read 11,662,987 times
Reputation: 2509
Rule number 1 for women: Don't meet guys online.

Rule number 1 for men: Don't meet women online.

Online dating, it works for some but it doesn't work for most.

Also, you do realize that a couple weeks ago some prostitute got blown away by some dude she solicited on craigslist, right?

Online dating = a cess pool of people who have something to hide.

Now I can see if you met this guy at a bar/club, chatted alittle, got to know him etc before you went home with him. At least that way you can clearly steer clear of the nut jobs. With online dating, you have no protections. Guys/girls can lie about everything. Also from what I've read - yup, those are the type of guys who have to use online dating. They can't get anything better.
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Old 05-23-2009, 12:12 AM
 
Location: Delaware...Oi
1,293 posts, read 2,898,507 times
Reputation: 539
Quote:
Originally Posted by killer2021 View Post
Now I can see if you met this guy at a bar/club, chatted alittle, got to know him etc before you went home with him. At least that way you can clearly steer clear of the nut jobs. With online dating, you have no protections. Guys/girls can lie about everything. Also from what I've read - yup, those are the type of guys who have to use online dating. They can't get anything better.
Yep, everyone who dates online has bits of the opposite sex buried in the backyard.

Bars and clubs are much safer, since you talk with them for like 5mins on average beforehand [drunk] before giving a phone # to meet someplace else, it just HAS to.

Welcome to paranoia, population, you.
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Old 05-23-2009, 12:24 AM
 
168 posts, read 483,319 times
Reputation: 234
Now I can see if you met this guy at a bar/club, chatted alittle, got to know him etc before you went home with him. At least that way you can clearly steer clear of the nut jobs. With online dating, you have no protections. Guys/girls can lie about everything. Also from what I've read - yup, those are the type of guys who have to use online dating. They can't get anything better.


This is so true! My sister has been estranged from our family for a long time. I recently discovered her on Facebook and was not surprised to see that everything she had written about herself was the complete opposite of the truth. Additionally, even though she's been married for 20 years, she described herself as being available. I feel sorry for any old boyfriend or whoever she is fishing for that she may reel in with her bogus profile, especially when he finds out that her a couple of her "well-adjusted, happy and normal" children have police records and they're not even 18 yet. He's in for a BIG surprise!
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Old 05-23-2009, 03:12 AM
 
Location: Naptowne, Alaska
15,595 posts, read 35,273,218 times
Reputation: 14699
We can only hope he doesn't have your home address!
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Old 05-23-2009, 03:27 AM
 
Location: Connecticut
1,461 posts, read 4,239,420 times
Reputation: 1649
Quote:
Originally Posted by smoky_topaz View Post
Please tell the male board members that women do NOT like desparate men any more than the other way around. So I have one date with someone I met online. This week before meeting he seems over-reaching to me, calling me sweetie and says he's dying to meet me (I mean, repeatedly.) He lives an hour south of me (Macon) and works in a program that sounds like job rehab or something. Has no car present and no where else to live other than the Salvation Army program campus. So that means I had to drive to meet him. Has no money so I pick up the tab. He's like super good to me otherwise...always getting my door and holding my hand in public. NOw I wasn't raised to travel to men or pick up the tab for them, for the obvious reasons. Trouble is he wants to book a room for our SECOND date-Im not kidding you guys-wants to spend the night in a motel with me on a second date! He wants to "give me a bubble bath, a body massage, and won't push if I don't want to have sex" but this just scares the crap out of me. I think Im just going to make up an excuse to get out of the motel issue. Itll be Memorial Day and it'll be tricky but at the last minute I can back out. Oh and he is already professing undying love loyalty, "Where do you see y ourself in 15 years?" I asked he said "Married to you". Now this would normally seem flattering, but to me and most women it jsut strikes me as stalker-ish. What to do?
Do not continue your relationship with this man. He lives NOWHERE, has NO Money, and is coming on way to fast which makes me feel like he is pushing you in a seriously bad direction. For a few bucks, you can background check him online to see if he has a record of any sort...and for your own safety, I would do this as well as end this relationship NOW. The only reasons this man is being good to you is first, he is looking for a permanent place to land, next you can be rest assured that he is looking for something physical and lastly although he is good to you, he could be using that as a front to make his situation with you permanent and potentially dangerous for you. Why does he not have a vehicle? Why is he living on the Salvation Army Campus? Why didn't he have any cash to take you out especially after you drove an hour to see him?

Any guy who pushes this hard has an ulterior motive and I surely don't like his at this point...RUN...do not pass GO and do not collect your $200 on the way (Monopoly).
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