Is he blowing me off or could there be a good reason? (kissing, sex)

[teatime]

what is with the texting? CALL and TALK to him.

[yoyogirl]

I tried to call. He didn't answer. I even left a voicemail saying I'm just confused about why he made plans with me then ignored me without even cancelling the plans. Haven't heard back from him.

It's obvious he didn't forget our plans, he is just ignoring and avoiding me.

[teatime]

Originally Posted by yoyogirl

I tried to call. He didn't answer. I even left a voicemail saying I'm just confused about why he made plans with me then ignored me without even cancelling the plans. Haven't heard back from him.

It's obvious he didn't forget our plans, he is just ignoring and avoiding me.

that truly stinks!

[ExPit]

Originally Posted by yoyogirl

Ouch ExPit. Yes I have but that's exactly what I DON'T want to think is going on. Even if that happened, why ignore me? He could have at least texted "Can't make it I'm sick."

I'd rather not think there is somebody else he wanted to see more. Ugh. That hurts. Thanks.

I didn't mean to say something that hurt you. But can you or do you feel any sympathetic hurt for the guy(s) you did that to? Why was that ok, and this, if it is the case, not ok? Because you are on the receiving end? I know I'm a lot older than you, (I think), but the answer to so many of the dating issues I read on this forum comes down to one word ... Ready?


.......... Empathy!

[yoyogirl]

ExPit I agree with you. I've been no saint when it comes to dating. I've hurt people and done a lot of bad things. Everybody is more or less selfish and out for themselves (though some more than others) I guess until they reach a certain level of maturity.

But why does it have to be another woman the reason he is avoiding me? lol. Couldn't it be maybe his friends invited him to Vegas for the weekend, or he decided he's mad at me?

I'm leaning toward thinking he's mad at me because he has to know he is treating me badly right now by ignoring and avoiding me and that this is hurtful to me. I sounded all sad in the voicemail I left for him. I'm sure he heard it. If he was happily with another woman, I think he would be more inclined to just text me to let me know something else came up instead of blatantly ignoring and avoiding me. lol.

Maybe I'm way off but the thought of him choosing another woman over me is not something I can handle right now. This guy was my top priority, I wanted to see him over anyone else, and if I was just a backup to him and there's someone else better, then ouch...

[ExPit]

Originally Posted by yoyogirl

ExPit I agree with you. I've been no saint when it comes to dating. I've hurt people and done a lot of bad things. Everybody is more or less selfish and out for themselves (though some more than others) I guess until they reach a certain level of maturity.

But why does it have to be another woman the reason he is avoiding me? lol. Couldn't it be maybe his friends invited him to Vegas for the weekend, or he decided he's mad at me?

I'm leaning toward thinking he's mad at me because he has to know he is treating me badly right now by ignoring and avoiding me and that this is hurtful to me. I sounded all sad in the voicemail I left for him. I'm sure he heard it. If he was happily with another woman, I think he would be more inclined to just text me to let me know something else came up instead of blatantly ignoring and avoiding me. lol.

Maybe I'm way off but the thought of him choosing another woman over me is not something I can handle right now. This guy was my top priority, I wanted to see him over anyone else, and if I was just a backup to him and there's someone else better, then ouch...

Hey, you sound like you're really hurting, and I will not kick you when you are lying on the ground. But just try to step back and listen to what you are saying. You have done this to guys. Everybody is out for themselves, the do unto others BEFORE they do unto you theory has got us nowhere. It takes courage, a strong sense of self to rise above all the mediocrity in this life, and none of us will bat 1000 in that department. But the minute you decide you will not lower yourself to this is the minute that you will be a cut above. Granted, it can be difficult, lonely on the higher road, but the alternative is worse.

Yeah, I know it hurts you to think that he is with another woman. We have all been there. And of course, how would I know? Maybe he is in Las Vegas with his buddies and as we speak, tying to fill an inside straight, but either way if he isn't incapacitated then you are not a top priority for him. That may say more about his lack of character than your lack of attractiveness so don't sweat it.

[ExPit]

Originally Posted by yoyogirl

Maybe I'm grasping at straws, but when I saw him on Monday he was acting like he really likes me. Hugging and kissing and stuff and then invited himself over this weekend, wanted me to text him when I got home, etc.. Not acting like a guy who was about to move on and diss me. So you see why I think it's strange he would suddenly blow me off like that?

Monday was also the day I told him I just want to have sex with him and that's it. I also let it drop that I'm dating other guys.

Is there a chance that maybe he does like me and figured out he is not okay with the only sex thing, especially since he knows I date other guys too? Maybe he felt used?

Maybe I'm grasping at straws but I'm just trying to figure this out. It just doesn't make sense to me so far.

WOOOO!!! Just read this. Apologies for not doing so before. Yoyo Girl? Are you serious with this question? You told the guy you wanted to basically use him as a living d*ldo and now you can't understand why he's turned off? You better have a good explanation for this or I'm done.

Look ... there is nothing wrong with you only wanting a sexual relationship with someone. But you really are surprised that that would offend him? If so, sounds like you blew it with a genuine guy. You hurt him, you wanted to use him and now you're shocked, hurt, befuddled??? The guy probably did like you, did want a real relationship with you. But now, I wouldn't buy a turn about, would you?

[yoyogirl]

ExPit...yeah but I thought that's what he wanted too. I thought any guy would be happy with that. But the way he was acting did make it seem like he really liked me, but I didn't know if it was all an act or what. You see, I really am screwed up when it comes to r/ships. lol.

I guess I must have offended him. Grrrr.

Thanks for reading that and responding though. I think things are starting to make sense now......

[ExPit]

Originally Posted by yoyogirl

ExPit...yeah but I thought that's what he wanted too. I thought any guy would be happy with that. But the way he was acting did make it seem like he really liked me, but I didn't know if it was all an act or what. You see, I really am screwed up when it comes to r/ships. lol.

I guess I must have offended him. Grrrr.

Thanks for reading that and responding though. I think things are starting to make sense now......

You were afraid of getting hurt emotionally, maybe as you have before, so you figured you'd eliminate that danger by labeling it, "SEX ONLY". A lot of guys would be happy with that. Maybe even the guy in question is some cases. But seems like he wanted more than that with you. And don't worry about being screwed up when it comes to relationships. We are all learning as we go. We're all ad-libbing it since most the time the dilemma in front of us is brand new.

[yoyogirl]

Thank you ExPit. You sound very wise and what you say makes a lot of sense.