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Old 05-25-2009, 08:34 PM
 
168 posts, read 530,568 times
Reputation: 235

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I just found out that my niece (age 20) is being abused by her boyfriend. Well, she just says he has pushed her, no hitting or anything that has caused bruises or injury, but it's happened several times. Her father was abusive to her mother and she knows that my ex-husband was abusive to me and I think a lot of young women her age are involved with abusive boyfriends. What I'm trying to say is that I think she thinks it's "normal" for a man to abuse a woman. She even told me that she doesn't think shoving is abuse and that he was very apologetic afterward. The thing that really frightens me for some reason is that she said he hadn't been drinking when these incidents occurred. He just lost his temper. Then she told me that it doesn't happen often.

I hate to see her being sucked into this trap. She is a very attractive and talented young woman. She's very into photography and recently had a gallery express interest in showing some of her work. She has a good future ahead of her and I hate to see her going down such a treacherous path. I was hoping to find out what other men think about men who abuse women so I could pass along to her how other men view this type of behaviour.
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Old 05-25-2009, 08:42 PM
 
Location: So Cal
51,848 posts, read 52,255,090 times
Reputation: 52309
I think in olden times men would get together and "handle" these kind of things, long before f ing lawyers and courts.

I think any man that beats on women needs to have the shyt kicked out of him. I understand how husbands and wives fight and sometimes things get heated.

Still, no excuse to smack a woman around. I've seen my mother's boyfriends pull this crap on her and if I was older and bigger it wouldn't have happened.

Trust me on this one.
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Old 05-25-2009, 08:43 PM
 
Location: Chicagoland
41,325 posts, read 44,784,961 times
Reputation: 7118
I'm not a man, but any guy who gets physically abusive with a female should get a good a**-kicking, ideally by another male.

She should dump the guy. It will only escalate if he is showing violent tendencies.
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Old 05-25-2009, 08:46 PM
 
Location: North America
1,089 posts, read 2,392,592 times
Reputation: 1099
It will only gets worse. It's extremely rare for abusive people to change.
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Old 05-25-2009, 08:51 PM
 
2,057 posts, read 5,471,068 times
Reputation: 1032
Men that abuse women........ abuse women for a reason

They don't have the balls to start with another man
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Old 05-25-2009, 09:00 PM
 
Location: Texas
327 posts, read 752,384 times
Reputation: 128
They're trash.

Your niece needs to stop kidding herself. Unfortunately I doubt that's gonna happen.
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Old 05-25-2009, 09:13 PM
 
Location: Ann Arbor, MI
804 posts, read 1,355,000 times
Reputation: 138
Quote:
Originally Posted by Paws917 View Post
I just found out that my niece (age 20) is being abused by her boyfriend. Well, she just says he has pushed her, no hitting or anything that has caused bruises or injury, but it's happened several times...
My first question would be, Is the nature of the physical contact mutual? Does she push him? If so maybe thats the kind of relationship that she has nurtured, does she want to continue in this kind of relationship. If not, does she really want to be in a relationship where she's being abused? I do not think anyone, male or female, should tolerate a relationship where they are being abused.
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Old 05-25-2009, 09:23 PM
 
3,223 posts, read 10,049,267 times
Reputation: 2222
Quote:
Originally Posted by Paws917 View Post
I just found out that my niece (age 20) is being abused by her boyfriend. Well, she just says he has pushed her, no hitting or anything that has caused bruises or injury, but it's happened several times. Her father was abusive to her mother and she knows that my ex-husband was abusive to me and I think a lot of young women her age are involved with abusive boyfriends. What I'm trying to say is that I think she thinks it's "normal" for a man to abuse a woman. She even told me that she doesn't think shoving is abuse and that he was very apologetic afterward. The thing that really frightens me for some reason is that she said he hadn't been drinking when these incidents occurred. He just lost his temper. Then she told me that it doesn't happen often.

I hate to see her being sucked into this trap. She is a very attractive and talented young woman. She's very into photography and recently had a gallery express interest in showing some of her work. She has a good future ahead of her and I hate to see her going down such a treacherous path. I was hoping to find out what other men think about men who abuse women so I could pass along to her how other men view this type of behaviour.
I find it inexcusable and untolerable for a man to be abusing their wives and girlfriends and they would think of the ladies as easy targets for the men to start taking their angers out on, I think you should give your niece that if her boyfriend has abused her once he'll keep on doing it again and that she needs to seperate herself away from him or if she wants to stay with him he needs to start taking anger management classes, since he was sober when he has abused her he does seem like he has a really bad anger problem.
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Old 05-25-2009, 09:31 PM
 
Location: Richmond
1,191 posts, read 3,677,727 times
Reputation: 428
I think they're scum.
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Old 05-25-2009, 09:50 PM
 
Location: Omaha, NE
852 posts, read 1,352,307 times
Reputation: 351
I'd have to say that anybody (man or woman) that beats there significant other will probably do so again. If its just pushing then it will likely escalate. I've been in a heated argument with a girlfriend in years past but it never got physical. There's no need for that and any man that engages in such behavior isn't a man. Just a boy that can't handle his own insecurities.
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