Anyone else attracted to cold distant men/women? (wives, married, lover)

[Weekend Traveler]

They say the nice guy usually finishes last and I have to agree. Most of the women I know do not like a nice guy. To bland, to boring and just to nice. If you want nice look at old reruns of the Mr. Rogers Show on TV.

Most women I know like a guy who is aloof, distant, mysterious, and manly. Russell Crowe comes to mind.

Most of the men I know tell me that they prefer a woman who plays hard to get. Kind of cold, aloof, and seemingly uninterested. As soon as the person says "I need you" or "I like you"-- they disappear. There is something really attractive about a person who will spend time with you who does not need to. If they have options, lots of friends and potential lovers and still chose to spend time with you- then you feel more attractive.

Agree or disagree?

[Rcm58]

Most people I've met that ever said out loud "But I'm a nice guy" were weirder than hell. If a person thinks their so nice because they bend over backwards to be close to someone else then they are not being completely honest to begin with an have an agenda their not sharing. Normal people have good and bad days and can be nice people without being overly nice.

[cuinlalaland]

Not me. I love women who are warm, friendly, and interested. Affection and desire from a woman makes me weak in the knees even if I don't find her physically attractive. That's what I call "nice". But that's different from what you're calling "nice" if you're idea of nice is Mr. Rogers LOL!

[Twinkle Toes]

Yeah - I like a man who treats me like crap, ignores me, threatens me, spits on me, kicks me around, and cheats on me. I also like a lot of emotional abuse too.

[teatime]

Heh, so that's what it is!!!!! Those cold, aloof women become cold, disinterested wives and then the men go out in search of warm, affectionate women who "understand" them?!

[DennyCrane]

The nice guy may end up finishing last, but most women I know who go for the Russell Crowe types end up getting hurt. The guy treats them like dirt. Any woman who likes a guy like that has self-esteem issues. Likewise, a guy who has any amount of self-respect won't put up with a woman who plays hard to get. Obviously, no one wants to be with someone needy and clingy. But there's a huge middle ground between that and cold and aloof. I think you'll find that as people get older, they get tired of people who play games. The hard-to-get act is best reserved for young people who enjoy playing such mind games.

[cuinlalaland]

Originally Posted by DennyCrane

The nice guy may end up finishing last, but most women I know who go for the Russell Crowe types end up getting hurt. The guy treats them like dirt. Any woman who likes a guy like that has self-esteem issues. Likewise, a guy who has any amount of self-respect won't put up with a woman who plays hard to get. Obviously, no one wants to be with someone needy and clingy. But there's a huge middle ground between that and cold and aloof. I think you'll find that as people get older, they get tired of people who play games. The hard-to-get act is best reserved for young people who enjoy playing such mind games.

Agree 100%

[pigeonhole]

Strangely, I've noticed that women in day to day occurrences react much more favorably when I'm cold and distant; the few times I melted for some chicks and was alll "mellow and sweet" I had a very unpleasant feedback, I think basically women dislike "soft" men.

[returningtonepa???]

Originally Posted by DennyCrane

The nice guy may end up finishing last, but most women I know who go for the Russell Crowe types end up getting hurt. The guy treats them like dirt. Any woman who likes a guy like that has self-esteem issues. Likewise, a guy who has any amount of self-respect won't put up with a woman who plays hard to get. Obviously, no one wants to be with someone needy and clingy. But there's a huge middle ground between that and cold and aloof. I think you'll find that as people get older, they get tired of people who play games. The hard-to-get act is best reserved for young people who enjoy playing such mind games.

where were you when i married mr cold,aloof.etc----you do get tired of it as you get older so you give him back to mom(his role model) soon as the kids get self sufficent

[NotARedneck]

Originally Posted by Weekend Traveler

They say the nice guy usually finishes last and I have to agree. Most of the women I know do not like a nice guy. To bland, to boring and just to nice. If you want nice look at old reruns of the Mr. Rogers Show on TV.

Most women I know like a guy who is aloof, distant, mysterious, and manly. Russell Crowe comes to mind.

Most of the men I know tell me that they prefer a woman who plays hard to get. Kind of cold, aloof, and seemingly uninterested. As soon as the person says "I need you" or "I like you"-- they disappear. There is something really attractive about a person who will spend time with you who does not need to. If they have options, lots of friends and potential lovers and still chose to spend time with you- then you feel more attractive.

Agree or disagree?

You have described the situation that leads to most divorce. This may be considered chic when you are young but it gets lame fast.