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It isn't. Where did you get the idea that it was taboo?
I can be getting along with somebody great and then I'll invite them to go do something. They will then give me some wierd look like I just asked them on a date or something, and then I'll never hear from them again.
I can be getting along with somebody great and then I'll invite them to go do something. They will then give me some wierd look like I just asked them on a date or something, and then I'll never hear from them again.
The devil is in the details, and I don't have many of those.
Are you doing this with total strangers?
For instance, I wouldn't ask my mechanic to go to the movies with me on a Saturday night, even if we got along great.
I'd feel comfortable calling an existing friend, though, and going to the movies.
These friendship things... must be taken one step at a time. I do see where you are coming from, now, a little better. If you're just going in cold, you may want to invite them to go kill an animal, cook an animal, smoke something, drink something, or play some type of sports, depending on what you're into. If you're into high culture, you may just be a fish out of water there, I don't know.
The devil is in the details, and I don't have many of those.
Are you doing this with total strangers?
For instance, I wouldn't ask my mechanic to go to the movies with me on a Saturday night, even if we got along great.
I'd feel comfortable calling an existing friend, though, and going to the movies.
These friendship things... must be taken one step at a time.
Not total strangers, but maybe I don't know them as well as I probably should. It's kind of a catch 22 situation. I am not around people my age very often. When I am, I try to make the most of the situation and it could be I am trying to take things too fast and that's why they think I am gay.
yeah I thought so. I would say that you should not hug any northern europeans at all, we are not like those faggy south euros(they are a bit of a disgrace for europe imo)
Interesting...one of the first gay people I ever knew was, in fact, from Sweden.
I grew up in one of the most backwards, knuckle-dragging swaths of swampland in the US. Homosexuality is definitely taboo there, along with interracial dating, body piercing/tattoos, being a white democrat.. you get the idea.
The only things that set off the "We look gay" flags among hetero males that I know, is nonviolent, nonhumorous physical contact. You don't hold hands, you don't hug each other unless somebody died.. things like that.
Going out to eat with another guy, going to the movies with another guy, going to hang out at another guy's apartment... these are non-issues.
There's always the possibility that I'm underestimating the remoteness (and associated taboos) of Arkansas. I've only driven through, once, across the Ouachita Mountains in the middle of the night. Some of those areas are a slightly different breed of backwoods than I am used to.
I can be getting along with somebody great and then I'll invite them to go do something. They will then give me some wierd look like I just asked them on a date or something, and then I'll never hear from them again.
The simple answer here, and please, I don't mean to point a finger at you or your acquaintances, but any man secure in his masculinity would have no problem going out to dinner alone with a male friend, even if that male friend happens to BE gay...
I once ate lunch with the same gay guy everyday for months because we were working on a project together and liked the same kind of food, had the same cynical take on a lot of things. So what? He was a good guy and he never made play one for me. Then again, I'm sure my sexual preference was pretty obvious given my reputation at the time. But even if he would have taken a shot at me, I would have laughed and told him he had the wrong number without being offended or angry, and would have had no problem with going out to eat lunch with him the very next day. Now if he would have kept it up, I'd have dropped him, fast.
The friendship needs to build trust and will slowly build to acceptance during that point of several weeks then you can see if they want to attend a movie or go out to eat somewhere or hang out and play video games....that's how I did it in college.
Also most people have a 6th sense on whom they wish to befriend. In college one of my best friends was a hick that was about 10 years older than I......we had the same classes together, same sense of humor, same points of views, it was awesome.....I tend to befriend people that are older and more mature .......it's nothing to be ashamed of at all........I'd rather have older friends that are accepting and fun to be around than friends my own age that are drama queens, catty, and two-faced.
Quote:
Originally Posted by rubber_factory
The devil is in the details, and I don't have many of those.
Are you doing this with total strangers?
For instance, I wouldn't ask my mechanic to go to the movies with me on a Saturday night, even if we got along great.
I'd feel comfortable calling an existing friend, though, and going to the movies.
These friendship things... must be taken one step at a time. I do see where you are coming from, now, a little better. If you're just going in cold, you may want to invite them to go kill an animal, cook an animal, smoke something, drink something, or play some type of sports, depending on what you're into. If you're into high culture, you may just be a fish out of water there, I don't know.
Sounds like a maturity issue or social ineptitude on the people you are trying to befriend.
The other part is that it could be a 'you're coming on too fast and desperate and needy in wanting a friend'. In your situation it is perfectly understandable though........
Quote:
Originally Posted by bchris02
Not total strangers, but maybe I don't know them as well as I probably should. It's kind of a catch 22 situation. I am not around people my age very often. When I am, I try to make the most of the situation and it could be I am trying to take things too fast and that's why they think I am gay.
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I do see where you are coming from, now, a little better. If you're just going in cold, you may want to invite them to go kill an animal, cook an animal, smoke something, drink something, or play some type of sports, depending on what you're into. If you're into high culture, you may just be a fish out of water there, I don't know.
