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Well, technically he has the obligation to do the right thing with his daughter in the house, not you. But, that doesn't really matter, because if you don't feel right about it, don't do it. Regardless of what he thinks.
I personally, and this is just my PO; Would not feel okay having sex in the house with someone who is not my husband and or the child's father. Yes, it happens all over the world. But does that mean it is okay to blatenly show that it is a morally okay with you to do this? You can say whatever you want to your child, but when they "see" your actions, that is what in their mind helps them decide that something is an okay or not okay thing to do. Mommy/daddy does it, it must be cool.
I see these woman that have "uncle Tim" over one night and "uncle Mike" over another night.. Having "uncle" sit down to breakfast all sleepy eyed with his bath robe on has got to be ackward.
My mother was single for many many years while raising me and I never saw a man over other than during the day just talking at the table. No over-nighters or "going in the bedroom to talk".
Sorry, but there are different rules for how you behave around children. Children don't need to grow up seeing their parents have a steady stream of sexual partners and if mom or dad is sleeping with whomever they're dating, that's what they'll see. They will also grow up thinking that dating = sex. They want to start dating at about 13 these days .
No wonder so many of our teens are having sex so young. They have parents modeling the behavior.
I agree with you. I'd be very careful who and what I'd do around kids. Kids know a lot more than we realize..and are not oblivious to what's going on around them. They are watching and listening...closed doors or not.
I would prefer not to have sex in the house with a child there, but if I were married, and had kids...I might feel differently.
I think that kids knowing that their parents have sex is healthly. A parent having multiple partners is not.
Even if an adult wants to have one night stands (I know that this is not the case here), so what. What two consenting adults do is their own business. But having sleepovers- with or without sex- when in a month-old relationship sends the wrong message to a child, to put it mildly.
Since I have no problem with consenting adults who aren't married having sex, I would tell my daughter (who is in kindergarten) that it is OK for consenting adults to have sex if they aren't married. Indeed, I will not tell my children that they should wait to be married to have sex. "No sex before marriage" is a bunch of hidebound foolishness.
Dating adults can have private, quiet sex if they aren't married. They can do that with kids in the house. It is OK for people who aren't married to have sex. Get out of the stone age people!
NO professor. It is NOT okay for those of us that prefer to raise our children differently than YOU do.
Kids have enough to deal with without wondering who their parent is banging down the hall, and what position they might be in. They're kids. Let'em be kids. Good grief.
Is this ok, behind a locked door? I feel a little weird about it since you have to keep quiet, too. And I don't have kids so I don't know what's normal. Will he think Im a bad person if I agree to sex with him (when he asks, not saying Im making the moves , but Im not discouraging him , either) when his daughter (8) is in a room right across the hall?
I've never had a problem keeping completely quiet while having sex, and seek partners that can do the same. Because much of the time, there have been other people in the houses where she or I lived...and they don't need to hear that.
I think that kids knowing that their parents have sex is healthly. A parent having multiple partners is not.
Even if an adult wants to have one night stands (I know that this is not the case here), so what. What two consenting adults do is their own business. But having sleepovers- with or without sex- when in a month-old relationship sends the wrong message to a child, to put it mildly.
I agree with you and others who said the same thing. Kids eventually figure out (if this man's daughter hasn't already) that unmarried people have sex (however much of that they can grasp, which sometimes isn't much). It's important to teach young people to save it for someone special, if not for marriage. Some adults do just fine with a bunch of partners, but not teens. That's asking for so much trouble.
I said earlier that I think it's Ok to wait until after the daughter is asleep. I want to clarify: no sleepovers until much later in the relationship (i.e., they are engaged to be married), if at all. Not while the daughter is so impressionable.
Is this ok, behind a locked door? I feel a little weird about it since you have to keep quiet, too. And I don't have kids so I don't know what's normal. Will he think Im a bad person if I agree to sex with him (when he asks, not saying Im making the moves , but Im not discouraging him , either) when his daughter (8) is in a room right across the hall?
Maybe you havn't done it with him many times with him in this situation. If it was me after a few times I wouldn't think much of it. Door is locked not much that can go wrong.
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