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I keep hearing from different sources that it's not the place to meet the opposite sex and I have heard it a lot but imo the reason I feel otherwise trumps convention. The area I live in in Upstate SC is growing (over 40,000 people spread out over 3 towns that are close to each other) but there is not much of a singles scene. The gym is one of the few places you see people on a regular basis. I go to the gym about 5 times a week so that makes me a familiar face and it gives any interested woman a chance to talk to someone there who knows me and can vouch for me. Still with the lack of a singles scene the men and women at the gym hardly look at each other.Women there sometimes talk about what online dating sites they are on even though all the while there are plenty of single guys who are members. I have been a member for just over a year and a half and I have not rocked the boat much. I have a approached a few women here and there over that time-mostly just to introduce myself and to feel them out but I didn't ask any of them out as the conversations did not go anywhere. I think my lack of success/attempts at talking with women there were partly about overly buying in myself to the idea that the gym is not the place to to get dates. I don't want to be a jerk and ruin anyones workout but I would like to approach more women there and let the chips fall where they do. Maybe someone will get upset but then on the other hand after they calm down maybe the next time we could have a better conversation. I am not one of those guys just chasing younger women either. I am over 40 and I look just as much at women in my age group. Given the social situation in our area I think it's as good as any other place to meet people and I would appreciate any ideas on how to make this situation work .If you think it's still a bad idea to date people at the gym by all means tell me why but please be specific .
Last edited by senecaman; 01-01-2014 at 02:53 PM..
My initial response to a guy who tried to pick me up at the gym would be, "Ew."
1. I go for my workouts because I want to take care of myself, not for the social scene. Most people who are serious about staying healthy feel the same way. I don't appreciate someone hitting on me when I'm trying to do something for myself, thank you very much. I would rather meet a guy at the dentist's office waiting for a root canal than the gym.
2. If it doesn't work out -- and chances are really good that it won't -- you're stuck seeing that person every day. Awkward. Get ready to change memberships!
3. I personally find couples who "work out together" pretty creeptastic. I mean, really? Exercising together is your idea of bonding? Exercise is about self-care, and I don't want to "work out" with my significant other anymore than I want to take a shower with him every morning.
It is a bad idea because most women, as you have seen from your own efforts, are there to WORK OUT, not be hit on.
This is just one reason why they have women-only gyms.
We don't live in Manhattan. I can either approach or grow old. I have only approached a few times. I still think the lack of opportunities overall given our social scene trumps the conventional wisdom on this topic and that approaching more makes sence. And its easy to check out someone who approaches you at the gym. A woman could ask anyone at the front desk about me.
BTW just today I saw a trainer working out with her new guy-a member of the gym.
Last edited by senecaman; 01-01-2014 at 03:16 PM..
Exercise is about self-care, and I don't want to "work out" with my significant other anymore than I want to take a shower with him every morning.
Some people actually exercise because they enjoy it and have fun. I don't really see what's wrong with working out with your significant other. If your schedules match and you both like to work out, have at it.
That said, when I was single I never thought about hitting on a woman in the weight/cardio area. When I'm lifting or doing the stationary bike, I'm not concerned with talking to other people unless I'm with a friend. I don't love the gym enough to have it be my social hang out.
OP, you might have more luck if you try a class like boot camp, zumba, etc. I feel like I see people talking to each other more after those classes than random strangers doing weights/cardio.
Fall in love with paragraphs and punctuation first.
That mess of word vomit is barely readable.
I don't need to even read it past the first sentence.
Yes you can hit on women at your gym and if you're very handsome or well built it will work.
If you're just an ordinary guy desperate for a bit of tail, you will probably fail miserably and get a rep for being a creep as well.
A lot of women have zero time for creepsters when they're working out.
The ones who are attracted to you will make themselves known.
FWIW I used to be a total gym junkie and everyone took their workouts seriously. The ones who were there to pick up stood out like dogs whatsits and everyone laughed at them.
If you think it is a good idea then do what you think is a good idea and don't ask strangers on a public forum for their opinion that you are going to argue with.
It is your life, your choice, your numerous rejections (possibly) so knock yourself out.
I keep hearing from different sources that it's not the place to meet the opposite sex and I have heard it a lot but imo the reason I feel otherwise trumps convention. The area I live in in Upstate SC is growing (over 40,000 people spread out over 3 towns that are close to each other) but there is not much of a singles scene. The gym is one of the few places you see people on a regular basis. I go to the gym about 5 times a week so that makes me a familiar face and it gives any interested woman a chance to talk to someone there who knows me and can vouch for me. Still with the lack of a singles scene the men and women at the gym hardly look at each other.Women there sometimes talk about what online dating sites they are on even though all the while there are plenty of single guys who are members. I have been a member for just over a year and a half and I have not rocked the boat much. I have a approached a few women here and there over that time-mostly just to introduce myself and to feel them out but I didn't ask any of them out as the conversations did not go anywhere. I think my lack of success/attempts at talking with women there were partly about overly buying in myself to the idea that the gym is not the place to to get dates. I don't want to be a jerk and ruin anyones workout but I would like to approach more women there and let the chips fall where they do. Maybe someone will get upset but then on the other hand after they calm down maybe the next time we could have a better conversation. I am not one of those guys just chasing younger women either. I am over 40 and I look just as much at women in my age group. Given the social situation in our area I think it's as good as any other place to meet people and I would appreciate any ideas on how to make this situation work .If you think it's still a bad idea to date people at the gym by all means tell me why but please be specific .
This is kind of like meeting chicks on an airplane. They are somewhat a captive audience, therefore you may be unintentionally suffocating them when they want to be left alone.
You might try saying hello. If a woman responds favorably, then that's good. Let it go.
Next time you see her, you can say hi again. If she seems to enjoy you remembering her, then you might ask her another question or make a topical comment of some sort.
If she responds to that favorably, you need to be very careful how much more you talk to her while she's busy exercising.
Like I said... imagine she's your seatmate on a plane and look for ANY and all cues that she wants to be left alone.
This is tricky, but if you're determined, you could at least get to know a couple of people in an offhand way and see if they seek you out or are eager to speak to you.
If not, then leave them alone.
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Yea and they all post on here like they've just discovered the Holy Grail of Tail.
This has been asked and answered on here a gazillion times and the answers are always the same.
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