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Old 07-10-2010, 10:53 AM
 
8,681 posts, read 7,431,924 times
Reputation: 14926
Quote:
Originally Posted by carra View Post
Maybe you don't love those men that much? When you really love someone, you usually can't get enough of them.
I disagree. Strongly. There is such a thing as boundaries, and wanting to be in someone else's presence 24-7 is desperate and pathetic at best, neurotic and co-dependent at worst. More often than not, it's a sign of insecurity, that you can't trust the person to be out of your sight. At the very least, it's a sign that you don't have anything else going on in your life, which isn't healthy.

Not saying that you are neurotic or anything. Just that relationships, like every other aspect of life, require balance. The healthiest relationships allow each partner time to pursue their own interests and hobbies. How much time each person requires varies, and some couples like more together-time than others, but whenever someone tells me "I can't get enough of you" and starts calling five, six times a day, I tell him to ease up. If he doesn't, I run, not walk, to the nearest exit. I most assuredly do not want to be the star any man hangs his hopes on. I'd rather be his partner.

 
Old 07-10-2010, 11:16 AM
NSX
 
865 posts, read 1,104,908 times
Reputation: 655
My girlfriend calls and texts me all the time, and I do the same with her and it does not get old for either one of us. If you are in love, wouldn't you want to hear from the person? Wouldn't it make you feel better knowing that they consider you an extremely important part of your life?
I've just never understood the complaints about "clinginess" in a relationship. Being ignored is far worse.

I work long hours in a research lab and it makes it much less lonely to get a few calls and texts. If anything, it makes me more productive at work to take a few breaks to talk to her during the day. Knowing that there's someone at home who loves you and is thinking about you makes all the difference in brightening my day
 
Old 07-10-2010, 11:33 AM
 
Location: Iowa, Heartland of Murica
3,156 posts, read 3,166,078 times
Reputation: 2975
I am a man and I am not clingy, most men who are clingy are emotionally unstable, needy losers who either have no game or don't know how to relate to women.

Women on the other hand, are never clingy LOL So many emotionally stable women out there!
 
Old 07-10-2010, 11:53 AM
NSX
 
865 posts, read 1,104,908 times
Reputation: 655
Still not exactly sure what the phrase "clingy" means. My girlfriend and I text a few times back and forth when we're at work and call each other usually twice a day before we see each other at night. Does that make us clingy?
 
Old 07-10-2010, 12:01 PM
 
Location: Spicewood
3,831 posts, read 3,491,678 times
Reputation: 5687
Quote:
Originally Posted by carra View Post
Maybe you don't love those men that much? When you really love someone, you usually can't get enough of them.

On the other hand, those men might have been suffering rejection for a long time. That sometimes makes them want to "make up for lost time".
I'm sorry but all people are different and I hate it when people think being in love only means something when you are constantly joined at the hip. I love my husband deeply but I also like space. I like hanging out with friends and family and doing things alone sometimes just like he does. I believe time away from lovers, spouses, etc, when needed, is just as important as time together. I'm so glad my husband understands this and doesn't feel I don't love him enough just because I don't feel the need to be glued to him.
 
Old 07-10-2010, 12:21 PM
 
3,844 posts, read 1,783,922 times
Reputation: 2665
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beautifulbrwnbabydoll View Post
Why do you guys think that men are so clingy? They act like you can't be out of their sight. When you are out without them, they are calling and texting 24/7. And when you finally make it home they want to come over all the time. Why can't they just be by themselves for a while? Uggg!!!
I've dealt with people like that. It is frustrating. When you try to have some time to yourself and get your head straight, some people just follow you around and try to impose in on your time.

From what I've heard, people in general are clingy.

I've dealt with clingy guys, but I haven't dealt with clingy women.

I guess us men are just afraid to be alone these days.
 
Old 07-10-2010, 02:56 PM
 
54 posts, read 38,270 times
Reputation: 80
Quote:
Originally Posted by Avienne View Post
I disagree. Strongly. There is such a thing as boundaries, and wanting to be in someone else's presence 24-7 is desperate and pathetic at best, neurotic and co-dependent at worst. More often than not, it's a sign of insecurity, that you can't trust the person to be out of your sight. At the very least, it's a sign that you don't have anything else going on in your life, which isn't healthy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by carlitasway View Post
I'm sorry but all people are different and I hate it when people think being in love only means something when you are constantly joined at the hip. I love my husband deeply but I also like space. I like hanging out with friends and family and doing things alone sometimes just like he does. I believe time away from lovers, spouses, etc, when needed, is just as important as time together. I'm so glad my husband understands this and doesn't feel I don't love him enough just because I don't feel the need to be glued to him.
I agree completely. It's true that when two people in a relationship regular communication is an expectation. But like with most things in life, too much can be a bad thing. You have to avoid either extreme. For all the people that comment on how much they appreciate all of the attention they get from their S.O. It's probably because it hasn't crossed the line of what you personally feel is "too much." As Carlitasway said, people are different. In other words, what is 'too much' for some may be 'too little' for others. Also, It's not a gauge of how much two people are in love, so just because one couple contacts each other twice as often as another couple, it doesn't mean their love is twice as big. Just their phone bill.

Quote:
Originally Posted by carra View Post
On the other hand, those men might have been suffering rejection for a long time. That sometimes makes them want to "make up for lost time".
Yes, this situation often happens when someones been alone for a long time and finally finds themself in a relationship. But they should be aware of risks of showing scars from their pain. They need to remind themself that their relationship will be at risk if they let the fear of being alone get the best of them. Otherwise they will come off the way Avienne described.
 
Old 07-10-2010, 09:20 PM
Status: "Born to be a midwestern girl!" (set 17 days ago)
 
Location: Northeastern WI
19,757 posts, read 16,408,098 times
Reputation: 36555
".....Yes, this situation often happens when someones been alone for a long time and finally finds themself in a relationship. But they should be aware of risks of showing scars from their pain. They need to remind themself that their relationship will be at risk if they let the fear of being alone get the best of them......."



Note the last sentence: ".....relationship be at risk if they let the fear of being alone....get the best of them."



Ive seen clingy and it just irks me to no end....makes me not want to be around them at all. There is a difference in clingy and simply cuddly. Ive been on both ends of that stick so can relate.
Like it or not, fact is, it almost resembles a sign of controlling issues. If a guy has to follow you everywhere like he's attached to a bungee cord, or insists you call, text or keep in touch 24/7, or needs to silence everything around him when youre in the bathroom or on the phone in another room, theres a problem. And no one is going to control me.
But then there are women who do the same with their men, its no wonder so many relationships dont work out. Give the other person some breathing room!
 
Old 07-10-2010, 09:25 PM
 
Location: Moose Jaw, in between the Moose's butt and nose.
4,416 posts, read 4,211,068 times
Reputation: 1393
Beautifulbrwnbabydoll.........(rolling eyes)....

I wouldn't take anything from someone with a user name like that seriously (even if it may be true). That's got me me me me me and only me, written all over it.
 
Old 07-11-2010, 12:01 AM
 
Location: Ft Lauderdale, FL
259 posts, read 497,312 times
Reputation: 223
Gosh I usually have the opposite problem...
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