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Old 06-07-2009, 07:01 PM
 
6,351 posts, read 9,950,085 times
Reputation: 3490

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Okay, in the past, I have tried to make this same point on other message boards, but no one understood what I was saying. Let me try to spell this out as plainly and clearly as I can so no one misunderstands me.

So, here it is...PLEASE READ IN FULL BEFORE REPLYING...sorry for the length, but, as I said, everytime I have tried to make this point no one gets what I am saying and hence, I am going to spell it out so there are no misunderstandings.


To all women who complain about the way men look at you, imagine this:

You go your whole life and no matter what you dress like, no matter how much you clean yourself up and smile and go out, the opposite sex still never notices you are alive. Their eyes just sort of roll off of you as if you were a piece of litter on the street and you never got so much as a second look. Well, that is my world and the world of quite a number of men like me (short and not good looking)

Women complain about being looked at like a piece of meat, well, TRY BEING "LOOKED AT" LIKE THE YOUR INVISIBLE FOR YOUR ENTIRE LIFE, THEN SEE IF YOU STILL WANT TO COMPLAIN. The only thing worst then being looked at like a sexual being is not being looked at like a sexual being.

Note, that I AM NOT talking about men just looking at your chest or rear end. I am talking about men never looking you in the eye (unless you are at a counter at a convenience store or something) and never noticing you at all. I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT ONLY NEGATIVE ATTENTION.

Yes, women do get looked at like "pieces of meat" from time to time, but guess what? You know good and well that women, every woman, will be looked at like a beautiful woman from time to time as well. A nice smile, a man looking you in the eye and admiring your face....imagine that never, EVER IN YOUR LIFE happening.

When was the last time a man complemented the way you looked? As in your hair, your eye, etc? Well, for me and many men like me, woman have never, ever said anything good about the way we look.

We don't get negative attention (looked at like a piece of meat) or positive attention (looked at like a handsome man) or anykind of attention at all for that matter.

Thing is, every woman, no matter who you are, are beautiful to some man. Some men prefer skinny girls, others prefer big girls, some men like long hair, others short hair, some older women, some younger women....THIS IS ONE OF THOSE THINGS THAT PEOPLE DO NOT UNDERSTAND, SO LET ME ELABORATE:

I am NOT talking about men being "so horny they will sleep with anyone". No, I am talking about what men find attractive in women, PERIOD. I am NOT SAYING that men prefer skinny women with big boobs but will take a fat woman if they have the chance just to "get laid", I AM SAYING that some men just prefer the way large women look over the way skinny women look.

I am also NOT TALKING ABOUT A FETISH. I am talking about what they like. Some men will be fine with going out with a older woman, because they like her for who she is, but they find being older attractive. It DOES NOT MEAN that they will sleep with any older woman no matter who she is as a person, all it means is that being older is the physical quality they look for, and the physical quality is just one of many qualities men look for in a woman. I am talking about what a man is INITIALLY PHYICALLY ATTRACTED TO, AND THEN, AFTER GETTING TO KNOW A WOMAN, DECIDING IF THE ATTRACTION IS ANYTHING OTHER THEN JUST PHYSICAL AND IF A RELATIONSHIP SHOULD BE PURSUED OR NOT. If I was talking about a fetish, it would be JUST PHYSICAL ATTRACTION and not lead to a relationship.

HOWEVER, while there are plenty of men who when asked what they're attracted to, say "I actually find larger women attractive" or "I've always been into girls with short hair" I have never, EVER heard of women having that conversation and one say to the other "you know, I really love short men, you know, like 5'5 or shorter who are balding and have no muscles. I am all about the Troll look." Have you?

So, if a large woman walks around long enough sooner or later she is bound to get some positive attention from a man who finds larger women attractive because, as I explained, men are all over the place with what they find attractive...can you honestly tell me that a short Troll like fellow like myself can find a woman who finds the way he looks "sexy" and "hot" and will look twice in my general direction?

Do spare me the "but women fall in love with a man for who he is" speech. The notion that a woman might someday get over the Troll look and be intimate with me despite of what I look like and never find me hot because of what I look like offers me only little comfort. All that is saying is that men like me are like liver, and aquired taste...yahh, that's comforting.

Women are always found sexy because of the way they look, regardless of what that look might be...men like me are lucky if we are found sexy despite of the way we look.

Can you really imagine your whole life in which the only thing you have to look forward to is someone being with you and "getting over" your appearance? Can you imagine what your self image might be if you know good and well that that was all you had to look forward to?

Can you contemplate a life of no one in the opposite sex ever finding your appearance appealing? Welcome to the world of me and plenty of men like me.

Do spare me the "so what, you want a shallow woman" speech. So many people say that. I DO NOT wish there were women who just want to sleep with Goblinoid men such as myself as much as I wish there were women who, as I explained above, were INITIALLY ATTRACTED to the Goblinoid look, gave me a smile and approved of how I looked, and then started talking to me and THEN became my girlfriend, you know, the thing the same women who complain about the way "men look at them" take for granted.

It is a said, unspoken but understood fact of life for men like me that we will never be initially attractive to anyone, and all we can hope for is someone "settling" for us and "not minding" our appearance...LADIES, WHO WOULD YOU FEEL IF ALL YOUR LOOKS AND BEAUTY WERE NON-EXISTENT AND ALL YOU COULD HOPE FOR WAS SOMEONE "NOT MINDING" YOUR APPEARACE?


MEN LIKE ME WILL ONLY HAVE A "SHE GOT TO KNOW ME AND THEN IGNORED MY UGLINESS" TO "LOOK FORWARD TO", WHILE YOU WOMEN, ALL OF YOU, WILL HAVE A "WOW, HE THOUGHT I WAS BEAUTIFUL AND THEN LOVED MY PERSONALITY" TO HOPE FOR.

Can you imagine how that would feel?

Yes, it would be painful indeed. Just look at how much pride women take in their appearance. What if you understood, from Junior High on, that it was all futile, and that you would always be ignored as a sexual being?

So, next time a man looks at you, either as a piece of meat or a beutiful woman who he might just want to talk with over coffee, think of how it might be to be on the other side before you complain.

Last edited by victorianpunk; 06-07-2009 at 07:27 PM..
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Old 06-07-2009, 07:04 PM
 
Location: Delaware...Oi
1,293 posts, read 3,182,998 times
Reputation: 547
Ok, seriously, you and Rediska need to date. Won't really comment, as I really can't muster up the enthusiasm to read all of that without my eye's glazing over partially. But I'm sure other's responses to it will rock.
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Old 06-07-2009, 07:27 PM
 
Location: In my skin
9,230 posts, read 16,496,894 times
Reputation: 9174
When life gives you lemons, make a few lemon-drop martinis and lighten up. Your attitude really isn't going to make up for what you are lacking.

When a man looks at me like a walking vagina, I can assure you I am not going to be thankful that I am getting attention when people like you aren't. Don't presume to know everything about women or bash them when you admittedly can't get close to one. There are plenty of women in your shoes. And plenty of people lonely and hurting, beautiful or not. Work on what you have the power to work on and your chances may improve.
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Old 06-07-2009, 07:32 PM
 
6,351 posts, read 9,950,085 times
Reputation: 3490
Quote:
Originally Posted by PassTheChocolate View Post
There are plenty of women in your shoes.
No, there aren't. Every women, no matter what she looks like, is appealing to some man, as I have said...can you show me one woman who "Really like" the "Golem for Lord of the Rings" look? No.

Overweight, deformed, bald, men are so accross the board with what they are initially attracted to, that no woman will ever have trouble meeting a man who likes her holistically, looks and mind...guys like me?...

Sorry, but I have yet to hear some girls talking over Martinis say "yahh, I do like the Danny Devito type"

Next time some man gives you positive attention (don't try to tell me it has never happened) try to think of the scores of men whom that has never happened to
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Old 06-07-2009, 07:41 PM
 
Location: Wherever women are
19,012 posts, read 29,619,916 times
Reputation: 11309
Man, VP, has too much nag hammadi driven you nuts?
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Old 06-07-2009, 07:50 PM
 
25,157 posts, read 53,819,090 times
Reputation: 7058
When life hands you lemons you make really terrible lemonade is what I say....j/k

Quote:
Originally Posted by PassTheChocolate View Post
When life gives you lemons, make a few lemon-drop martinis and lighten up. Your attitude really isn't going to make up for what you are lacking.

When a man looks at me like a walking vagina, I can assure you I am not going to be thankful that I am getting attention when people like you aren't. Don't presume to know everything about women or bash them when you admittedly can't get close to one. There are plenty of women in your shoes. And plenty of people lonely and hurting, beautiful or not. Work on what you have the power to work on and your chances may improve.
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Old 06-07-2009, 07:57 PM
 
Location: mass
2,905 posts, read 7,329,636 times
Reputation: 5011
Quote:
Originally Posted by victorianpunk View Post
No, there aren't. Every women, no matter what she looks like, is appealing to some man, as I have said...can you show me one woman who "Really like" the "Golem for Lord of the Rings" look? No.

Overweight, deformed, bald, men are so accross the board with what they are initially attracted to, that no woman will ever have trouble meeting a man who likes her holistically, looks and mind...guys like me?...

Sorry, but I have yet to hear some girls talking over Martinis say "yahh, I do like the Danny Devito type"

Next time some man gives you positive attention (don't try to tell me it has never happened) try to think of the scores of men whom that has never happened to

So you are saying that your position is THAT much lower than a big fat ugly woman who gets ONE admiring glance from someone?

Please, there are women in the position you describe all over the place. And don't say that because there is SOME man out there that will dig her makes her that much better off.

I don't know exactly how ugly you are, but it is really more about confidence sometimes than looks.

Work with what you've got.
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Old 06-07-2009, 08:05 PM
 
Location: In my skin
9,230 posts, read 16,496,894 times
Reputation: 9174
Quote:
Originally Posted by victorianpunk View Post
No, there aren't. Every women, no matter what she looks like, is appealing to some man, as I have said...can you show me one woman who "Really like" the "Golem for Lord of the Rings" look? No.
You are wrong, just on the fact that you are talking in extremes. You cannot back that there aren't women in your shoes just as you cannot back that "every" woman is appealing to some man. It is patently absurd.

Nature didn't reserve the troll look for men. No, I cannot show you a woman who has made that statement, because no one ever has around me (and I don't even know who Golem is). But I can say there are women who also date ugly men. How ugly is the question and it is also relative.

Quote:
Overweight, deformed, bald, men are so accross the board with what they are initially attracted to, that no woman will ever have trouble meeting a man who likes her holistically, looks and mind...guys like me?...
There are men who are morbidly obese, disfigured, or just unattractive who can't find anyone to date them. What makes you think you have that market cornered?

Quote:
Sorry, but I have yet to hear some girls talking over Martinis say "yahh, I do like the Danny Devito type"
Doesn't mean it doesn't happen. Heck, he's married and his wife is no looker and had money when she met him.

Quote:
Next time some man gives you positive attention (don't try to tell me it has never happened) try to think of the scores of men whom that has never happened to
Why would I try to tell you it has never happened? Why would it not be believable if I did? Because only men like you have this problem, right? Yah.

I am always grateful for positive attention. I referred to the piece of meat attention that you implied we should be grateful for because you kids don't get any. I still doubt I am going to think of these scores of men it has never happened to. I guess that makes me incapable of comprehending your plight. Off to the shallow yonder I go.
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Old 06-07-2009, 08:19 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,831 posts, read 87,946,401 times
Reputation: 22814
Quote:
Originally Posted by mommytotwo View Post
Please, there are women in the position you describe all over the place.
See, the problem unattractive men have is that they feel entitled to and wronged by not getting BEAUTIFUL women. It's not like they give the time of day to women looking like them. Heck, I can't get any man I want, either. It's not the end of the world. It's called reality! We all have some limitations of some nature.
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Old 06-07-2009, 08:23 PM
 
Location: Orlando, FL
12,200 posts, read 18,319,432 times
Reputation: 6655
Quote:
Originally Posted by Waynec613 View Post
I really can't muster up the enthusiasm to read all of that without my eye's glazing over partially
Me too - I mean I really tried but all the bolding and underlining and capital letters started getting to me - i just kinda started looking at the words but not reading them
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