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7 or so years ago when I was in my late teens/early 20's I had nasty long black dyed hair, dressed in baggy ugly ripped clothes, did drugs, had no goals in life, sorta acted like a wannabe badass all the time, worked in a factory making like 8 bucks an hour, pretty much had a crappy attitude towards life 24/7.....and I had to beat away the women with away with a broom. I had girlfriends constantly.....
Fast forward to today...I've cleaned up my image, I dress nicer, went back to college, havent touched drugs in years, I have mellowed out and become a much more positive person for the most part, I work out and play sports in my free time....and I cant get a date to save my life.
Anybody else (especially guys) change their life for the better only to see their dating life take a nosedive?
Hmm. You may seem "boring" now to some women. Or you may have just been more focused on girls back then too.
Maybe he just seems "boring" to the girls who are like the ones he was "beating away with a broom."
It seems like a lot of girls up until 25 are really into the "bad boys." I think it has something to do with the excitement of dating a bad boy or whatever. I wouldn't know personally, as I'm not a bad boy or a girl, but my last ex-girlfriend liked bad boys (I guess she needed a change of pace for about a year). Edit: I just wanted to clarify that not all women are like this and some mature way before 25.
My best advice would be to put yourself out there to the women, and not girls.
Last edited by Slanderous; 06-07-2009 at 11:00 PM..
Reason: clarification
7 or so years ago when I was in my late teens/early 20's I had nasty long black dyed hair, dressed in baggy ugly ripped clothes, did drugs, had no goals in life, sorta acted like a wannabe badass all the time, worked in a factory making like 8 bucks an hour, pretty much had a crappy attitude towards life 24/7.....and I had to beat away the women with away with a broom. I had girlfriends constantly.....
Fast forward to today...I've cleaned up my image, I dress nicer, went back to college, havent touched drugs in years, I have mellowed out and become a much more positive person for the most part, I work out and play sports in my free time....and I cant get a date to save my life.
Anybody else (especially guys) change their life for the better only to see their dating life take a nosedive?
Yeah.
You say you "dress nicer" however now you're not getting so many women, so maybe you're dressing gayish. No kidding. What are you wearing these days, khakis? polo shirts? gayish golf shoes? That's not the guys that women see in rap or rock videos.
You can always BE nice yet DRESS and POSE like you did back then. It works, stupidly enough. You can still keep the majority of the nice behavior.
One stupid example is wearing a chain for your keys and a spike metal belt and an angry looking tshirt and jeans. You will get those young girls heads to turn. Yup, just from this. No need to be baggy-clothes, that's lame anyway. Hey, I wish it were some other way, though that's life.
Keep in mind (big stereotype here) that the fashion industry is "run" by homosexual men who are creating fashion they find attractive when worn by other/young homosexual men. Go on some fashion boards and there are many threads on this topic. So "dressing nice" means that you don't look sexual at all to women... you look tame & lame, or best case, metrosexual, which could be considered "clean and trendy and nice/crisp looking" though it doesn't get the same head-turning from women.. it gets head turns from guys! Not the effect you wanted, I'm sure. Not "Gene Simmons" by any stretch!
7 or so years ago when I was in my late teens/early 20's I had nasty long black dyed hair, dressed in baggy ugly ripped clothes, did drugs, had no goals in life, sorta acted like a wannabe badass all the time, worked in a factory making like 8 bucks an hour, pretty much had a crappy attitude towards life 24/7.....and I had to beat away the women with away with a broom. I had girlfriends constantly.....
Fast forward to today...I've cleaned up my image, I dress nicer, went back to college, havent touched drugs in years, I have mellowed out and become a much more positive person for the most part, I work out and play sports in my free time....and I cant get a date to save my life.
Anybody else (especially guys) change their life for the better only to see their dating life take a nosedive?
Dude, before, you stood out, NOW, you are just another responsible "douche bag" (I am not calling you a douche bag, just saying that that is what women think looking at you)
Go ahead, keep going to school, stay away from drugs, but dress like you used to and keep doing everything else you used to. Bottom line is this that I learned from another guy's funny dating story:
He was an absolute looser who sucked at school and life and women hated him. So what did he do? He joined the army. He came back and suddenly, while still being a looser and still being shy as hell, he had to fight the ladies off with a stick and why? BECAUSE OF THE STUPID MILITARY UNIFORM!
The bottom line is, if you look good and have a dumb gimmick, like a military uniform, a "sexy" instrument you play (the saxaphone, the guitar) or have a "sexy" accent, like French, OR are an all around "bad arse" who dresses the part, women will dig you.
Women like the same thing old school professional Wrestling Audiences liked: The Cheesy gimmick. They don't want just "a guy" they want "that guy with the French accent!" or "That military guy!"
Not everyone is that superficial.
But I keep hearing men who want younger women. And the funny thing is, I look younger than the ones rejecting me, so go figure that one.
Like a 25 year old is going to date a 50 year old man.
Yeah, you're right...for sex...
That's what the term means.
But date them and have a real CARING relationship, no. They don't want that with them.
Men my age seem to have no testerone.
I personally have seen twenty something year old men with women in their fourties.
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