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Say someone says something out of the way, my spouse doesn't say anything and I might. Now you are the bad guy. My one Son is grown but can be very cocky with me. When he gets like that, she won't say nothing so I feel there's no support from her, so he continues.
Because of this, I also had issues with the inlaws, as she never put them in their place when needed. My inlaws were intrusive. This passive nature causes arguments. Now we have issues with the daughter-in-laws who seem to take advantage of my wife, especially with babysitting. My wife, btw, doesn't know how to say no.
You can feel isolated when a spouse doesn't verbally support you, so they aren't in trouble. But then my issue is with my wife.
Anybody have this where you need support, and your not getting it or similar situations?
I'm trying to visualize my DH not speaking up to defend me, or vice-versa. Nope, I can't see that ever happening. He has been my biggest champion since the day we met. He slapped his mother down (verbally) when she attacked me (again, verbally) and never spoke to her again because she wouldn't give me a chance or even acknowledge our marriage.
I'm sorry you don't have the support you need in your marriage. I assume you have talked about it with your wife?
I agree that this is an unhealthy situation ripe for fomenting resentment and bitterness. Unfortunately, I don't know how to help you with your particular situation, given that it's gone on so long.
I'm sorry you don't have the support you need in your marriage. I assume you have talked about it with your wife?
Oh yes, I let my feelings be known as I go along. She is a good person, sometimes to good, that's why I married her. We are at extremes though with others. I'm basic, straightforward and tell it like it is. I appreciate a nice person, but you have a lot of not so nice people, including family. I'm non confrontational, but I don't let people $hit on me. She can be to good, and that's the problem. Thanks for the replys.
You can feel isolated when a spouse doesn't verbally support you, so they aren't in trouble. But then my issue is with my wife.
Anybody have this where you need support, and your not getting it or similar situations?
I'm not married, but I've had issues with this in my last relationship. That's ONE reason it didn't last. This was the 'nice guy' I gave a chance. I guess people sensed he was soft, because there would be times we'd be out, and men would make comments to me, in a sexual nature, right in front of him and he'd just sit there like he was scared to say something or act like he didn't hear it. I would always have to speak up and be like "can't you see I'm with my man?...get the hell out of here with that!!"....I can't be with a wuss of a man. MAN UP.
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