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Twice I have done things that were TRULY HORRIBLE and I still laugh at them to this day
First and lesser of the two times was when, at the restuarant I work at, a co-worker asked me to run a credit care for this young fellow (maybe 19-23) on a date. Well, the card was declined...so, of course, I ran out and said, in a loud voice, "sir, your card is declined!" The fellow looked scared and a little embarrassed, and gave me all his cash and told me to put the balance on the card. Well, the balance at that point was thirty dollars and some change.
Well, I rang it through and, sure enough, the card declined the $30 too! So, I ran to the table and declared, "Sir, you check card (making sure the girl knew it was his checking account we are talking about here) declined to thirty dollars." The kid, looking humiliated, turned to his date and she paid the rest.
That "I suck at life!" look in his eyes was priceless.
Second, and worst time was when I was at a bar after work, having my "that was a rough night" drink, alone, as usuall. Well, this young female walks up to me and says "hi" and I say "hi" back. She starts trying to talk to me and smiling, while I, Mr. Anti-Social that I am, just keep looking straight ahead into empty space. What the heck is she doing talking to a Goblinoid like me anyway? Well, finally I turned to her and asked,
"Do I know you?" in a disgruntled voice. She looks at me and, trying to keep smiling says "ohh...no..." at which point I barked, but not loud enough for anyone else to hear,
"yahh, I don't, and I don't want to know you either! I don't come to bars to be harassed by some ugly c ***t I don't even know! So please, just get the hell out of my face, fat girl!" Note that she was neither fat nor ugly, but average weight and rather plain looking, but certaintly not ugly.
But of course, women HATE being called fat.
Well, she walked away and said something quickly to her friends, sitting at a little table, and then made a B-line to the bathroom with her hand covering her face...I think she was crying!
One of her friends went into the bathroom after her, while the others just glared at me. So, I left, and was laughing all the way home, and still find it funny to this day.
I am NOT USUALLY THAT BIG of a A^**hole. I am usually a nice guy, but yahh, I do have a sadistic streak.
In the words of the immortal INXS "Every single one of us, a Devil Inside"
Second, and worst time was when I was at a bar after work, having my "that was a rough night" drink, alone, as usuall. Well, this young female walks up to me and says "hi" and I say "hi" back. She starts trying to talk to me and smiling, while I, Mr. Anti-Social that I am, just keep looking straight ahead into empty space. What the heck is she doing talking to a Goblinoid like me anyway? Well, finally I turned to her and asked,
"Do I know you?" in a disgruntled voice. She looks at me and, trying to keep smiling says "ohh...no..." at which point I barked, but not loud enough for anyone else to hear,
"yahh, I don't, and I don't want to know you either! I don't come to bars to be harassed by some ugly c ***t I don't even know! So please, just get the hell out of my face, fat girl!" Note that she was neither fat nor ugly, but average weight and rather plain looking, but certaintly not ugly.
But of course, women HATE being called fat.
Well, she walked away and said something quickly to her friends, sitting at a little table, and then made a B-line to the bathroom with her hand covering her face...I think she was crying!
One of her friends went into the bathroom after her, while the others just glared at me. So, I left, and was laughing all the way home, and still find it funny to this day.
I am NOT USUALLY THAT BIG of a A^**hole. I am usually a nice guy, but yahh, I do have a sadistic streak.
Yooooooo.....
Things would've ended a little bit differently if "I" were that girl, but I guess I'm just as sadistic as you are, because I find that story hilariously funny....
OK we want details!!! Why so cryptic people??? This would be much more interesting if everyone would spill the details..
We just need to make sure the statute of limitations has run out before anyone incriminates themselves
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