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Old 06-10-2009, 03:56 PM
 
3,029 posts, read 2,050,791 times
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Default Exceptional people who date way down

What do you think about really smart successful people who choose to get involved with men or women with whom they have nothing in common? I knew this guy who was married a few times to women who a) were not attractive b) had room temp IQs c) had no class. The guy was nice looking, bright and talented. He kept going for the same type despite the same bad results. I would think particularly smart and self-aware people would find it difficult to spend so much time with people so unlike them. I know another really intelligent and interesting guy who admits he dates skanky women yet says he is lonely (duh). I get it that some guys are into dirty girls but these men are over 35 and could date up the ladder a little and still have fun. They do not have to scrape this low - it seems self-destructive and stupid. These are smart people - whyyy?
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Old 06-10-2009, 03:58 PM
 
Location: Delaware...Oi
1,293 posts, read 2,182,916 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tamajane View Post
What do you think about really smart successful people who choose to get involved with men or women with whom they have nothing in common? I knew this guy who was married a few times to women who a) were not attractive b) had room temp IQs c) had no class. The guy was nice looking, bright and talented. He kept going for the same type despite the same bad results. I would think particularly smart and self-aware people would find it difficult to spend so much time with people so unlike them. I know another really intelligent and interesting guy who admits he dates skanky women yet says he is lonely (duh). I get it that some guys are into dirty girls but these men are over 35 and could date up the ladder a little and still have fun. They do not have to scrape this low - it seems self-destructive and stupid. These are smart people - whyyy?
My opinion? A great deal of the time, it comes down to your seen options, and region.
Many would rather date someone who isn't really for them, then simply hope they might come across someone who is later.

Same for the bad boy's thread, many instances their success simply comes down to the fact that they tried when with the others their career, personality, dress, or any other number of factors kept them from being in the circles or being seen as available by other men, or by those others from trying to get noticed by them.
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Old 06-10-2009, 04:03 PM
 
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,511 posts, read 11,674,205 times
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I consider the things unseen and leave it at that. Everyone has their own tastes.
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Old 06-10-2009, 05:22 PM
 
Location: Marion, IA
2,785 posts, read 3,673,214 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tamajane View Post
What do you think about really smart successful people who choose to get involved with men or women with whom they have nothing in common? I knew this guy who was married a few times to women who a) were not attractive b) had room temp IQs c) had no class. The guy was nice looking, bright and talented. He kept going for the same type despite the same bad results. I would think particularly smart and self-aware people would find it difficult to spend so much time with people so unlike them. I know another really intelligent and interesting guy who admits he dates skanky women yet says he is lonely (duh). I get it that some guys are into dirty girls but these men are over 35 and could date up the ladder a little and still have fun. They do not have to scrape this low - it seems self-destructive and stupid. These are smart people - whyyy?
Two things come to mind for me. I'm a 29 yr old guy.
1) Not ready to settle down yet. So I go for the ones that are easy to get and easy to let go. I'm still enjoying the dating life now.
2) We like the low-key mediocre looking women. 9 and 10 women need too much attention and upkeep and a phone call every 20 minutes. And they draw too much attention.
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Old 06-10-2009, 06:15 PM
 
13,779 posts, read 16,614,372 times
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Hmmm, perhaps the folks they choose to be with are nice, honest, hardworking people who they enjoy being around...
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Old 06-10-2009, 06:22 PM
 
Location: US
1,185 posts, read 2,645,809 times
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It is all relative. Even though to you they appear to be brilliant and attractive they may either not feel the same way and truly think they do not deserve someone you perceive to be their equal, or they aren't as smart as you build them up to be and they really are shooting for their average.

I've seen my fair share of both extremes. Good looking guys walking down the street holding a whale's fin, and runway models lugging a dry heaving fat man being constricted by a fanny pack down the sidewalk.

A couple more nuggets of wisdom

Opposites attract, and don't try to understand bat****crazy.
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Old 06-10-2009, 06:28 PM
 
Location: Texas
4,645 posts, read 3,825,768 times
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I've done it a few times myself. Usually they had a trait I found appealing and were really modest about it/couldn't understand why I saw it as a plus. None of them were ever "ugly" though and none of them were "way down". Just kinda plain. I don't really believe in the different leagues thing anyway. One girl had a beautiful but was so afraid to sing around others. I'd have to sneak up on her just to hear it.
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Old 06-10-2009, 06:29 PM
 
Location: southern california
49,283 posts, read 45,802,045 times
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its the motown madness that caused this.
get an ugly girl to marry you.
i bought it,
if you wana be happy.....harry belafonte sing it.
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Old 06-10-2009, 06:49 PM
 
Location: SoCal - Sherman Oaks & Woodland Hills
12,980 posts, read 18,205,787 times
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I think this is much more common with men than women. I'll go so far as to say that its almost nonexistent with women except for the cougars who just want a young man.

This could also be due to all the baloney stereotypes that people mistakenly make in that beautiful sexy women tend not to be intellectuals and that the intellectual woman tends to be extremely boring and dry.
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Old 06-10-2009, 07:54 PM
 
Location: Space Coast
1,980 posts, read 2,478,799 times
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Here's my $.02. For me at least, I think that long-term relationships work well if one is ambitious and career-minded, while the other is more easy-going about making the big bucks (which too many people these days equate to being a "good catch"). With 2 ambitious people, eventually things will clash, schedules will conflict too much, or they will get too competitive with each other or even jealous of the other's successes. At least that viewpoint has worked well for the last 9 years for me and my guy. In my case, I'm the one considered "ambitious", though our age difference isn't significant enough for me to be considered much of a cougar.
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