How to meet others in a college town if you are not a student? (Christian, female)
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I live in a college town, so it is full of young people---(students). So there must be some of them that are mature and intelligent, but I don't seem to know where to meet them.
While there are parties on campus I feel not a part of "them" to attend, so it goes with a lot of other student-oriented activities. Is this a bit of a strange psychology of an "outsider"? The strangest thing is that if I ever did talk to a student, they think I am in their class because I look exactly their age.
So how can I overcome this psychological and social barrier? I know that there are many of them that would love to have me as a friend, and I would love to be a friend, but there seems to be an artificial barrier that keeps me apart. That I imagine they all are part of a community that I am not part of. (yes, I've already graduated so I am not all about classes and exams like them.)
I seem to get this impression that they are all in a crowd and pact that I am not a part of. Like when you enter a party room and you feel that everyone there knows each other except you. It is probably more in my head than is real.
Thanks for suggestions for how to expand my social connections, as a young "outsider" in the college town.
I live in a college town, so it is full of young people---(students). So there must be some of them that are mature and intelligent, but I don't seem to know where to meet them.
While there are parties on campus I feel not a part of "them" to attend, so it goes with a lot of other student-oriented activities. Is this a bit of a strange psychology of an "outsider"? The strangest thing is that if I ever did talk to a student, they think I am in their class because I look exactly their age.
So how can I overcome this psychological and social barrier? I know that there are many of them that would love to have me as a friend, and I would love to be a friend, but there seems to be an artificial barrier that keeps me apart. That I imagine they all are part of a community that I am not part of. (yes, I've already graduated so I am not all about classes and exams like them.)
I seem to get this impression that they are all in a crowd and pact that I am not a part of. Like when you enter a party room and you feel that everyone there knows each other except you. It is probably more in my head than is real.
Thanks for suggestions for how to expand my social connections, as a young "outsider" in the college town.
If anyone asks, just tell them you're taking a semester off. Parties on campus are always gay anyway. I don't feel as though I'm a member of a special community. That's just a bunch of psycho babble BS the college marketers/couselors/advisors tell kids to get them to attend their school. I have no school pride what so ever. Just be cool person, avoid the frats/sororities, relax, and have some fun.
I really don't have any advise but to say that the issue is most likely in your head. In my younger days I spent alot of time on college campuses and in the dorms in the Triangle.
In more recent years, I lived in Fredericksburg VA where the private college University of Mary Washington is located. I knew people who worked at Pizza Hut that went to parties and had friends at this big expensive private (and I think christian) college. Even if you feel like you're not part of that "community" you just have to introduce yourself, find common interest, and make yourself part of that community.
Let me give you a bit of advice. College students are not mature at all. Sure they can study and pass exams, big deal, but they are still like junior high aged brats on the inside.......believe me, it's nothing but high drama, layers of problems, insecurities, and frustration.
I have been through your exact situation. After law school, I moved back to the college town I was in for undergrad and took a job with a small firm there. I loved the town, remembered it from my college days.
While I still like the town as a place to visit, that period was honestly a fairly depressing period of my life. I realized there are no young professionals in the town. Its college students, and families. And not being plugged in to the campus community at all meant meeting people was nigh impossible. And lets face it, hanging out with college kids in my mid-20s isn't exactly what I had in mind, anyway.
Ultimately, I decided to move. I know your situation is what you make it, grass is greener, blah blah, but I've been up here in the big city for 6 months now and I couldn't be happier. My life is so much fuller, more social, more meaningful, and more fun.
Not saying you should do the same thing... but its something to keep in mind. Particularly if yours is a town where the college is the big thing and there's not much else.
you can go to bars/clubs located near the campus or you can just buy a student parking permit and then join a couple clubs on campus. I know if the college you visit is a community college they don't really care if you are a student or not. Great place to meet new people since almost everyone there is to socialize.
Get yourself a nice car. Alot of female students don't drive, you will get offers or you can offer to take them places. Before you know it you will be banging em. Goodluck.
Just be open and honest. If they like you they shouldn't care whether you are in school or not. If anything they will find out you graduated and be jealous. And when you are partying stop worrying have a drink and just talk to whoever you are near. Drinking games are a great ice breaker, esp card games. Bottom line is its a party, they're supposed to be fun and you're supposed to meet new people.
"How to meet others in a college town if you are not a student?"
You have to do the online thing. It's a niche market you're trying to find. So others in your same shoes will do the same thing. You can try socializing with the prof's but usually they are too old... though sometimes you can find the young visiting professors & make friends/dates or a year or so. I'm not sure if it is a general phenomenon or not, though I find college kids today (opposed to where I went to college) to be nearly 100% focused on partying & drinking, which I find boring (outgrew it at age 20). Though I went to a technical engineering school so perhaps it's school biased so I dunno if that is your situation. Otherwise it's lame to be surrounded by the "young college kid party mentality" when you're "grown up".
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