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As a 30 year old black male with no kids, though I love kids, I seem to have a hard time dating women with kids. It just seems like I dont want to really be an everyday male figure in a childs life unless that child is my own. Is this natural? When I date a woman, and I look at her child, I can envision that woman's ex-lover a.k.a the babys father. Help me out. What should I do?
This board has me thinking something is wrong with me b/c I don't really fret about what I do or don't do. Is all this doubt or internal struggle about what you should or what's right & wrong for you normal?
Definitely without a doubt do not ever go with a woman with kids. She already made one mistake, you don't want to be responsible for the next mistake.
Why would it be a mistake to have a child my be
her husband has died and that is why the women
is out looking to date again, having a child is
not the end of ones life.
It doesn't even matter a persons age or sex - but if you are having a hesitation about kids... wait a bit!! Get to know some friends or families kids, make sure of your ability to deal with them and relate to them comfortably in both your way AND their way. My belief is that you don't want to develop a feeling for the other person and then find out that you aren't ready for kids... only to have the kids really develop a feeling for you. But of course just an opinion!
Its not abnormal at all. I am 29, single, and have been most of my life for a good reason. Kids are annoying, bothersome, and will literally take the best years of your youth. When I do settle down with a female it wont be to make kids, it will be because I am looking for a partner to enjoy time with...not for the specific purpose of creating life. Society has hammered into our heads that we have to grow up, get a job, get married, buy a house, have kids, etc... This is just a part of you being a tool to the system. Besides, the world is overpopulated with unwanted children as is, if I really want a kid that badly I can adopt one later in life. When I see women my own age who have kids I dont view them as a potential dating partner, I instead look at the kids and think of how all my free time would vanish.
As a 30 year old black male with no kids, though I love kids, I seem to have a hard time dating women with kids. It just seems like I dont want to really be an everyday male figure in a childs life unless that child is my own. Is this natural? When I date a woman, and I look at her child, I can envision that woman's ex-lover a.k.a the babys father. Help me out. What should I do?
As a 30 year old black male with no kids, though I love kids, I seem to have a hard time dating women with kids. It just seems like I dont want to really be an everyday male figure in a childs life unless that child is my own. Is this natural? When I date a woman, and I look at her child, I can envision that woman's ex-lover a.k.a the babys father. Help me out. What should I do?
If you don't want to have kids, don't have them. Contrary to the BS we are fed, it's a choice, not a requirement.
If you don't enjoy dating women who have kids, stop looking at it as a character flaw and find yourself a woman who doesn't have kids - and who doesn't want them (if you also don't want to have them).
It's really that simple.
And don't listen to people who call you immature or selfish.
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Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
As a 30 year old black male with no kids, though I love kids, I seem to have a hard time dating women with kids. It just seems like I dont want to really be an everyday male figure in a childs life unless that child is my own. Is this natural? When I date a woman, and I look at her child, I can envision that woman's ex-lover a.k.a the babys father. Help me out. What should I do?
