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IN PERSON, as honestly as possible, as firmly as possible (not leaving room for argument/false hope), as honestly as possible, as compassionately as possible, and with as much patience as possible (letting the other person ask the questions they need for closure).
I'm a big believer in being up front and honest with people. I really can't stand these people who "take breaks" from people. Either you broke up or you're still together. Breaks are for people too lazy to say that it's over or they'll leaving the door open so they can come back. There was another thread on here about how overused the term "closure" is, but it really is something people are entitled to. You break up with someone, at least let them know why. Don't just leave them wondering why things didn't work out.
I'm a big believer in being up front and honest with people. I really can't stand these people who "take breaks" from people. Either you broke up or you're still together. Breaks are for people too lazy to say that it's over or they'll leaving the door open so they can come back. There was another thread on here about how overused the term "closure" is, but it really is something people are entitled to. You break up with someone, at least let them know why. Don't just leave them wondering why things didn't work out.
I'm a sucker. I do whatever I can to make it easy on the other person. I even arranged a place for the last one to live when he moved out (he is still in the process of moving out btw, boy is that awkward! One week to go!). I tend to slowly ease them into it by suggesting more time apart, then a break and then saying that it's over. Usually by the time I actually say it they are pretty ready. I hate hurting people. This way I make sure that I'm making the choice, for the right reasons, and have thought it through. Time gives me perspective and makes sure that I'm not just making a foolish snap decision.
I've never had any huge dramatic reason to break up with someone (cheating, etc). It's always that there just isn't the same feelings or some other very logical reason for ending things. I've always done it in person and done my best to talk it through.
I'm a big believer in being up front and honest with people. I really can't stand these people who "take breaks" from people. Either you broke up or you're still together. Breaks are for people too lazy to say that it's over or they'll leaving the door open so they can come back. There was another thread on here about how overused the term "closure" is, but it really is something people are entitled to. You break up with someone, at least let them know why. Don't just leave them wondering why things didn't work out.
While not a rule to go with all of the time, sometimes saying as little as possible is far better than honesty. Primary example would be my last relationship, I didn't note the princess (JA) stereotype thing she had going until a bit into it. Rather than say, all of the TV networks combined don't have the same drama level as you do, or otherwise broaching what I considered a more or less spoiled person which wouldn't have let her improve anything, and would have just been hurtful/rude. Any of which I might not even be "right" about, it was just my perspective on her, I just called it quits and left any of the specifics to generalized statements.
I've always been the one to do the talk in any established relationship, I've gotten blown off once or twice in the past on dates, but that's been it so far. I will admit I did the lame thing guy's sometimes do when I was far younger and just do the mean and distant thing until she broke-up with me instead of me having to say it wasn't really working out. Other than that though, it's nearly always been it's not working, explain at least in part why, let them move on, usually end up with a sex buddy for a few months, and remain friends with them.
I realize it depends on the situation, but what is in your nature to do when ending it? There are some people who just can't break up nicely and others who try their best to do it peacefully.
Have you ever just packed up and left with no warning? Trashed the place? How have your break-ups been?
That would be just a terrible terrible thing to do to trash someone's place or deface any of their property. I would never do such a horrible thing.
I find it best to break up just after having sex for the last time. Thats the best way to do it. Right after finishing, just look over and tell her that things arent going to workout. Then have her get her stuff and leave, or, if Im at her place, I'll just give her a kiss on the forehead and say "good luck".
That would be just a terrible terrible thing to do to trash someone's place or deface any of their property. I would never do such a horrible thing.
I find it best to break up just after having sex for the last time. Thats the best way to do it. Right after finishing, just look over and tell her that things arent going to workout. Then have her get her stuff and leave, or, if Im at her place, I'll just give her a kiss on the forehead and say "good luck".
While not a rule to go with all of the time, sometimes saying as little as possible is far better than honesty.
That's true. I don't mean to say that you should launch into a tirade of all the reasons why it's not working out. But don't be vague either. Be concise, but to the point and only if the other person asks you to elaborate do you explain yourself.
I once told a guy that I was leaving him because I wanted to get married. He apologized for being against it for so long and said that he had actually been considering it. I told him I wanted to get married too, just not to him.
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