Are you passive aggressive?

[Giesela]

I'm not sure exactly what passive aggressive means. It probably has a very clinical meaning that started out as nothing like what most people use the term for now - it has morphed. Everyone I've ever discussed it with thought something different including some counselors, so its somewhat meaningless really unless you both sit down and define what it means to you.

First Tell him to quit trying to control you and put you in a defensive crouch by labeling you with psycho babble names.

Second its ok that you handle your anger a little differently, so what. When your mad you avoid him. Is this such a big surprise? Is it so mentally unbalanced for some people to process anger differently - hold on to it a little longer? If she didn't avoid him when angry and instead beat him with a pan or shrieked verbal abuse at him - would this be better?

Third it is NOT ok to manipulate people or otherwise play games and as you've found out it only backfires.That part where you avoid him not because your still mad but because you want something from his is BS. Really its a form of dishonesty, an inability to communicate and if significant part of your personality something you really need professional help with.

[Belinda_Cooperstone1]

One hour, that's all I ask. If my husband and I have a disagreement and I feel the heat rising, I will say "One Hour" we have been together long enough for him to know what I mean. I have an Irish temper so I need that one hour to cool down. I will take a bubble bath (favorite relaxation method) then when I am calm we will talk about it in a more calmly fashion. I may have an Irish temper but I hate staying upset or mad. I find it sucks to much energy.