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How have his other comments been?
Was this written or verbal communication?
It's possible he was making a joke or trying not to be too forward and putting out a public place for a meet and greet.
I don't know...seems a little odd but hard to say without more information.
There is a fine line between using reasonable exclusionary criteria and being overly analytical and looking to give people the axe at the first mistake.
If I were you I'd try the honesty route and say you think the gas station meet isn't something you find terribly appealing. Suggest starbucks and see how he responds.
All good points. It was written.
The axe doesn't come in with the gas station alone. It's a sign of a lack of common sense and etiquette, so it would likely not end there. Some people just don't know any better and that is innocent enough. I just don't want to train anyone.
I've been emailing with one guy who had my interest until this:
"So what's the next step? Would you like to meet at a gas station and check each other out?"
This is truly a new one. A gas station? I don't even know how to respond to that. I envision us parking our cars next to one another, getting out and giving each other the once-over while leaning on our respective car doors.
My first thought is that he is too cheap to want to meet for lunch. I get that I'm probably not the only one he is talking to. But suggest a Starbucks at least, not a gas station. What do you kids think?
I can't believe you even have to ask the question. Run for the hills. This guy sounds like a weirdo. Check each other out? Is he kidding?
Then again, if the guy seemed pretty great up to that point, you might follow Mathguy's suggestion. (I think telling him it doesn't appeal to you is a good idea in any case; I don't think there's anything to be lost by kindly saying "no thanks" instead of ignoring him and making him wonder what happened.) He could be testing YOU too. Maybe he doesn't want to date someone who would say yes to that kind of invitation ... isn't he supposed to be more upscale than that?
This could be something you laugh about with your grandkids someday, you know.
Then again, if the guy seemed pretty great up to that point, you might follow Mathguy's suggestion. (I think telling him it doesn't appeal to you is a good idea in any case; I don't think there's anything to be lost by kindly saying "no thanks" instead of ignoring him and making him wonder what happened.) He could be testing YOU too. Maybe he doesn't want to date someone who would say yes to that kind of invitation ... isn't he supposed to be more upscale than that?
This could be something you laugh about with your grandkids someday, you know.
The conversation was bland, nothing really memorable up to this point. You're right, I think I will write and just say that I don't think we will be a fit and thank him for his interest.
It would be a pretty risky move, as far as a first impressions go, to test me like this. If he were to tell me he wasn't serious and he was just testing me, I'd be turned off there as well. Don't make me jump through hoops. I'm a lap dog.
It would be a pretty risky move, as far as a first impressions go, to test me like this. If he were to tell me he wasn't serious and he was just testing me, I'd be turned off there as well.
I agree. No one likes to be tested or be made to jump through hoops. That alone would be enough reason not to meet him.
A cup of coffee is the perfect first meet...not as long and intense as lunch but time enough to converse and get an initial impression. His gas station idea implies just a look at one another, which suggests to me an interest in primarily a physical relationship.
I don't care much for those coffee dates either. I spend all that time getting dressed up, driving to the coffee joint and back, for a man to spend $1.50 on me. It just doesn't feel right.
I don't care much for those coffee dates either. I spend all that time getting dressed up, driving to the coffee joint and back, for a man to spend $1.50 on me. It just doesn't feel right.
Sorry, I have to agree with that...if you can't even spring for lunch or diner, forget it!!! I never pick particulary expensive places to meet at...but I'm not going to get all dressed up to meet for a $1.50 cup of coffee..I don't even drink coffee!!! lol...Already cost me $70 to get my hair colored the other day, and the mani/pedi I'm getting tomorrow is another $25 plus the clothes for my date tomorrow night..if he tried to get me to go out for coffee, I'd be pissed!!
One guy wanted me to drive all the way to his town (70 miles round trip, btw) for a cup of coffee...Ummmmm..no I don't think so!! lol..
You could sit down and have coffee at some gas stations. Usually the coffee there is better than Starbucks or other chains.
In all seriousness, this guy sounds like a weirdo and you should probably take your own advice and tell him "thanks, but no thanks." I could understand if he told you immediately afterwards (in the same email) that it was a joke. Even if he's trying to see if you think it's funny, it's still a really strange thing to say to someone you haven't met.
I might have a caramel macchiato once a year, if that, so I'm not drawn to Starbucks. Plus it is usually pretty crowded so it's hard to really have a comfortable discussion there. Still it is an acceptable place to meet. I prefer a larger place with more room for privacy. I usually meet after 1:30 for that reason, traffic is milder and the place is somewhat empty.
I am with the others on taking the time to make yourself presentable and meeting for something so bland. We don't have to order a big meal; an appetizer would do.
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