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Old 06-15-2009, 11:20 AM
 
Location: In my skin
8,036 posts, read 8,919,691 times
Reputation: 7880
Default Too eager, too soon....red flags

Okay, so I've been emailing for less than a week with this one guy. He lives in New England but visits my area often. The emails have gone well, however he's becoming TOO flattering and too excited about getting my emails. Examples:

"Great to get an e-mail from you. Makes my day just to know that you are there and writing to me. I can think of nothing better then to be your friend."

Makes his day just to know I am here and writing? How is this possible with someone he has never met, in less than a week?

"I hope that you had a great day and that tomorrow is even better. I really am truly looking forward to finding out more and getting to know you. I definitely looking forward to getting to the point where we trust each and and discuss everything and anything. Every time I log on now I am looking for an e-mail from you."

Everything and anything, not gonna happen in general, but definitely not before we meet.

"How is you weekend? I do miss your e-mails."

This was after 3 days.

This kind of stuff has happened offline, but at least there was more personal interaction. I'll never understand how people fall in love online, or even get to this place before even meeting someone. I don't get it.
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Old 06-15-2009, 11:23 AM
 
16,623 posts, read 13,778,459 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PassTheChocolate View Post
This kind of stuff has happened offline, but at least there was more personal interaction. I'll never understand how people fall in love online, or even get to this place before even meeting someone. I don't get it.
Beware. Online, you're a relative unknown.

From his perspective, if he knows his life is good, the unknown probably doesn't seem very appealing. If he knows his life sucks, the unknown probably sounds GREAT; there's nowhere to go but up, right?

I find that people can use this type of blind positivity to mask the reality of how bad their lives are. Maybe I'm reading too much into it, though. Maybe you're just that awesome.
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Old 06-15-2009, 11:24 AM
 
Location: Seatte, WA
1,619 posts, read 2,899,141 times
Reputation: 1504
Red flags, indeed.
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Old 06-15-2009, 11:25 AM
 
Location: Back in the gym...Yo Adrian!
8,860 posts, read 10,847,636 times
Reputation: 16368
He sounds lonely. Just take your time.
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Old 06-15-2009, 11:25 AM
 
1,994 posts, read 2,622,370 times
Reputation: 1696
He certainly seems too excited. And considering it's less than a week, definitely red flags.
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Old 06-15-2009, 11:27 AM
 
Location: Pittsburgh's 'EAST SIDE'
2,043 posts, read 3,171,591 times
Reputation: 2601
...too thirsty acting already....definite red flag and it would be a turn-off for me.
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Old 06-15-2009, 11:32 AM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
20,878 posts, read 18,404,241 times
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Too gushy and fawning. Kind of clingy. I wouldn't call it a red flag, because he could just be trying too hard, but I don't think it's very attractive.
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Old 06-15-2009, 11:36 AM
 
Location: Seatte, WA
1,619 posts, read 2,899,141 times
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Dating 101....NEVER EVER EVER show a woman that you are interested. Showing too much interest will get you nowhere.
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Old 06-15-2009, 11:45 AM
 
Location: In my skin
8,036 posts, read 8,919,691 times
Reputation: 7880
Quote:
Originally Posted by rubber_factory View Post
I find that people can use this type of blind positivity to mask the reality of how bad their lives are. Maybe I'm reading too much into it, though. Maybe you're just that awesome.
LOL...there's no way for him to know what kind of person I am. I'm a good conversationalist, but I can't personally gush over that alone. I might be impressed, but not counting the seconds between emails.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Coolhand68 View Post
He sounds lonely. Just take your time.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
Too gushy and fawning. Kind of clingy. I wouldn't call it a red flag, because he could just be trying too hard, but I don't think it's very attractive.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Little Mizz Pittsburgh View Post
...too thirsty acting already....definite red flag and it would be a turn-off for me.
Clingy and lonely yes. Definitely not attractive.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Interpol76 View Post
Dating 101....NEVER EVER EVER show a woman that you are interested. Showing too much interest will get you nowhere.
If men should NEVER EVER EVER show interest, how would they show too much?

If a guy didn't show interest, I wouldn't waste my time.
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Old 06-15-2009, 11:46 AM
 
Location: Wyoming
6,734 posts, read 8,727,992 times
Reputation: 8737
Quote:
Originally Posted by rubber_factory View Post
Well, online, you're an unknown.

From his perspective, If he knows his life is good, the unknown doesn't seem very appealing. If he knows his life sucks, the unknown sounds GREAT; there's nowhere to go but up, right?
I never heard it put that way, but it makes good sense. I've been in a couple online relationships in which I was probably "too eager too soon," and both originated at times when about any kind of relationship would have been an improvement. When you first meet someone online, it's so easy to make them into whatever you want (in your mind).

Or it might just be that he likes what he's reading. My first online romance ignited like a wildfire. Within 6 weeks I felt like I knew her better than anyone I'd ever met. And in truth, I really did. We were both very honest and open, as we lived 2000+ miles apart and didn't figure we'd ever meet in person.

We met after a couple months; she moved in with me a few months after that. She was the same person face-to-face as she was online, and it was the greatest love affair I'll ever know.
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