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You sound like you are the one who DM'ed nebulous?? Admit it
I confess! And will do penance! 100 lashes with a licorice whip. Darn! I revealed myself Seriously, I don't understand how someone could send DM's like the OP's out and still hang out on here. Wouldn't that be a bit ...awkward? They must have a LOT of different screen names.
Last edited by NVplumber; 06-18-2009 at 10:45 AM..
I think it has something to do with the fact that there has been MANY a post here about how men CANNOT be "friends" with women, how married men who talk to single women a lot or have close female friends are starting to cheat, blah, blah, blah.
I don't agree with that POV but it is presented here often and forcefully.
I know ... I've been reading these posts for awhile now, and I have been confused. I've been questioning myself and my motives because I'm a married guy with a lot of female friends. However, after thinking about this, I realize some people just have ridiculous ideas about marriage. So let me get this straight -- I'm not only supposed to display sexual fidelity; I'm also supposed to never talk to another woman again, besides my wife? Um, no. I love my wife, but she's not the only woman in the world. If she were the type of woman who had this kind of expectation, I would conclude she were insecure to the point of neuroticism and not marry her. Likewise, I have no issues with her associating with other men. She goes out to lunch with men from work, she discusses gardening with a male neighbor, she has gotten pretty close to a mutual male friend of ours -- I'm supposed to care about this why? So long as no body parts end up somewhere they shouldn't, why should this be a concern to me?
If a married man wants to talk to a single woman with the "hey, I will be out of town" type of messaging...then he should say upfront he is married. I am stupid, I defaulted to being polite and answered his first email back. With the second, I checked his profile and saw he was married, and let him know I knew that.
I think I might know whom nebulous is talking about. I took care of this particular case myself. Yeah, I find it quite repulsive as well.
That's not to say I don't talk with married men - I do. There's a huge difference in the topics and the tone, though.
Exactly.
It wasn't talking to me on a thread, it was private messaging. And when I told him I saw he was married, he made his profile private then. And he didn't address that I said he was married. He just introduced himself, like it didn't matter.
Call me old-fashioned, but I wonder why a married man would want single women friends.
Now, if I am on the religion or science threads and it's a debate on something, then it's kept on the thread most of the time.
I chatted with one person here about the Arizona photo radar, and that is different. I didn't get the feeling he was trying to get a single female online buddy.
Now, most men are by nature predators when it comes to sex. That's our nature. The internet is a great place to stock prey and/or indulge our little fantasies. Any women who hasn't been cued in on that is pretty dumb.
Tha said, women who play along with the game are no better off morally than the men probing around to find a weakness and pounce.
As for me, I hope I've made it abundantly clear I too am happily married and see this a nothing more than cheap entertainment.
Hey, eat turkey fat. I wasn't playing along with him. He sent me one email, and with the second, I checked his profile.
So with the second email, I made it clear I knew he was married, zilch, nada, over, no more letters.
Neb, I don't doubt this guy may have been hitting on you (a married man who is looking to cheat??? shocker!!!), but you painted all married men on c-d with a very broad brush. As several of us have pointed out, a lot of us, probably the majority of us, are just here to talk about relationships. If this board were an Oprah chat forum, I'd wonder about the male presence a little more, but many of us came to city data to talk about cars, real estate, our respective cities, and happend to find this thread cluster.
Neb, I don't doubt this guy may have been hitting on you (a married man who is looking to cheat??? shocker!!!), but you painted all married men on c-d with a very broad brush. As several of us have pointed out, a lot of us, probably the majority of us, are just here to talk about relationships. If this board were an Oprah chat forum, I'd wonder about the male presence a little more, but many of us came to city data to talk about cars, real estate, our respective cities, and happend to find this thread cluster.
I couldnt have said it any better. Neb--sometimes it isnt what you say, its how you say it.
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Seriously, I don't understand how someone could send DM's like the OP's out and still hang out on here. Wouldn't that be a bit ...awkward? They must have a LOT of different screen names.
