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Did your neighbor, give you a look like "I'm sorry , I don't know what is wrong with him?". Or did he just keep talking about the issue? I would say that your neighbor should of stopped the friend when you walked in. If he didn't, that in itself is worrisome. Example: If I went to a relatives house and he was with a buddy of his, and he saw me come to the door. I would expect that the relative tell the guy that "Hey, we'll talk about this later". Its really none of my business what the guy present has issues with. I am not there to help him, I'm there to visit my relative.
Had they continued the conversation, I would of either stayed and heard out the issue, but without staying to hear any crude comments men sometimes make of women when they are with their guy friends. Or I would of left immediately and told my relative that I'll visit him later. Maybe.
a situation which has been bothering me because it creeps me out:this question is mostly for the ladies, although if CD's male population has any insight that would be good also...
have you ever known a guy who didn't seem to realize/notice that you were female? note, I'm not referring to interest or lack of, I'm referring to someone who acts as if & relates to you as if you are a guy. not sure exactly how to explain this; figure it this way: if you're with a number of other people, whether they're people you know well or not, like co-workers/acquaintances/etc., and you're talking with these people, there is probably a very slight & natural change in your demeanor when you switch from talking to a person of one gender to the other. it's like a basic, natural, & probably unconscious acknowledgment that there's a difference between "your friend Joe" and "your friend Susan." when a person doesn't acknowledge that there's a difference, doesn't even seem to realize it, what does that mean??? anyone ever experience this or possibly understand what it's about?
When a male doesn't seem to acknowledge that you are a female and seems to relate to you like you were a guy then I think he is saying to you, "I see you as a friend" and "I am not interested in you as a girlfriend". There is nothing abnormal about this and I believe it happens more times than not. If it seems like it is unconscious it is because more than likely that is exactly what it is. Imagine how nuts it would get if everytime we spoke to a member of the opposite sex, our demeanor immediately went into attraction mode? I understand what you are saying but also know that this is something that is more common than you think.
Cheer up...it is far better to be friends with someone of the opposite sex first prior to gretting into a relationship with them.
When a male doesn't seem to acknowledge that you are a female and seems to relate to you like you were a guy then I think he is saying to you, "I see you as a friend" and "I am not interested in you as a girlfriend". There is nothing abnormal about this and I believe it happens more times than not. If it seems like it is unconscious it is because more than likely that is exactly what it is. Imagine how nuts it would get if everytime we spoke to a member of the opposite sex, our demeanor immediately went into attraction mode? I understand what you are saying but also know that this is something that is more common than you think.
Cheer up...it is far better to be friends with someone of the opposite sex first prior to gretting into a relationship with them.
I think what the Op is trying to say though, is that she didn't want to be treated like a "friend" , since she didn't even know the guy. When a guy treats a woman like friend and not a woman, its all good and whatever, but the point is that she is a female anyway and the guy might of just not "perceived " it . Like if you were sitting with your girlfriends at a restaurant and suddenly a guy joins in the convo because he is a friend of one of your friends . Even if you were not attracted to him, if you didn't know him and you were talking about, what else, men, you would notice theres a man present. Any man can cause this reaction and you would change some of your "words" because of it. The OP, noticed that the guy that was at her neighbors didn't notice she was "female" and kept on talking like she wasn't a woman .
Very good post, Tz .. I have to admit, I am totally guilty of acting differently around men than I do with women.. I even see women get irritated by it, and roll their eyes and mutter, but I can't help it. It's almost like it's biological. When men are in each other's company, they have to demonstrate to each other that they have each other's backs -- that if a large wooly mamouth or band of marauders were to run through the camp at that very moment, they'd know *exactly* how to fall in line and do their duty for the tribe.
I also tend to treat women I really like (but more importantly trust) like my guy friends.. or more like my guy friends than like girls. However, I do think it's gross to make too many "body" jokes in the presence of the opposite gender. I don't like women referring to their menstrual cycles and nipple problems while breastfeeding around me, so I pay them the courtesy not to scratch the boys around them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tzaphkiel
i have noticed that there are some men who act different around men, then they do around women. it's kind of silly actually. sometimes guys get all macho and cool around other men because they have to do the whole "be tough, be cool, be macho" thing. it's hilarious to watch, they even walk different get all stiff legged and bowl-legged and do the whole i'm-a-dude persona.
in my personal experience when a guy treats me like his "guy friends" it has come from one of two reasons:
it is a complimient because he considers me a friend rather than a possible lay, and he treats his guy friends with more respect, than the women/lovers in his life that he treats like shyte
or
he is gay and doesn't realize it yet, still coming to terms with that part of himself, and he feels he can be himself with me, without coming on to me
I have no idea what the OP is talking about nor was I aware that people should talk differently because a woman is present. I don't get it. Maybe its a generational thing?
I'm not saying the O.P. is like this, but I really dislike women who feel that they are so appealing as a female that all men that are in her presence need to become instantly distracted by their femininity, like a Marilyn Monroe type that drops something on the ground and every guy is fighting for the chance to pick it up to hand it back to her, or if she pulls out a cigarette, all the guys in the room are offering her a light. Kind of like Miss Pittsburgh's annoying thread about women who have been so beautiful and distracting to men that they've caused street accidents. How conceited is that?
I've known plenty of guys who don't treat me any particular, special, feminine "way", just because I'm a woman.
Particularly the husbands and boyfriends of friends.
My husband treats my female friends in the same gender-neutral way.
I think all husbands are a little nervous around their wives' friends; they probably assume these women know a lot of personal info about them.
I have no idea what the OP is talking about nor was I aware that people should talk differently because a woman is present. I don't get it. Maybe its a generational thing?
The OP, noticed that the guy that was at her neighbors didn't notice she was "female" and kept on talking like she wasn't a woman .
yes, this ^ is what I was trying to explain...
although some other posts here are good in general, they missed the point that the guy was a complete stranger at the time & I just happened to walk in during their conversation... so what I was describing was "first impressions" (although he's continued the same ever since)
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anyone ever experience this or possibly understand what it's about?
