Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Hmmm... Honestly, both scenarios sound to me as collaboration of two people. Different valid points are offered for a certain vehicle, and weighed against their needs. I know you were trying to make a point, so... is your point that there is no point?
Yes. I believe strong marriages are collaborations.
Husband: Which car should we buy?
Wife: I like the sedan more than the minivan. The trunk space is the same, and I think the interior is more comfortable.
Husband: Really? I like the cross-over.
Wife: I do too, but the gas mileage isn't so great. We go through a tank a week as it is. I think the sedan will be easier to park, too.
Husband: I agree. Okay, let's get that one.
According to many posters here, this is an example of male leadership. In this scenario, the husband is being courteous of her feelings and listening to her advice. He allows her to influence his decisions but ultimately makes the best judgment to lead his family.
Scenario 2
Wife: Which car should we buy?
Husband: I like the cross-over more than the minivan. The trunk space is the same, and I think the interior is more comfortable.
Wife: Really? I like the sedan.
Husband: I do too, but with all the camping we do, I think it would be better to get something that can tow a small trailer.
Wife: I agree. Okay, let's get that one.
In this example, according to the same posters, the wife is submitting to her husband's wishes and deferring authority to him, where it naturally belongs.
If that works for your family that great, but I'm curious why you say "That's how its supposed to be"?
Who said that is the way its supposed to be?
Why is it supposed to be like that?
Biology (for the most part).
And, to clear up any misconceptions, I am NOT religious, so these ideas aren't based on the Bible.
I just feel like there are certain, unchangable roles that male and female play in the grand scheme of things, and by trying to even those playing fields, we do ourselves a HUGE injustice.
Biology (for the most part).
And, to clear up any misconceptions, I am NOT religious, so these ideas aren't based on the Bible.
I just feel like there are certain, unchangable roles that male and female play in the grand scheme of things, and by trying to even those playing fields, we do ourselves a HUGE injustice.
well then, if that works for both of you, that is all that matters....
Exactly... it works for us, and I don't expect it to work for all.
But at the same time, I sometimes wonder if a lot of the "problems" we have in realtionships these days aren't attributed to this idea that everyone has to be equal.
I am not saying my husband is a caveman and drags me around by my hair and I just pop out babies and have dinner waiting on the table when he gets home.
But, when it comes to making sure our family is taken care of, he has the reins.
I think knowing that ultimate responsibility makes him a better man and, and supporting him definitely makes me a better woman and mother.
But, again, it may not be for everyone.
In our marriage, my wife is the Leader in our finances since she is an Accountant. She takes care of all the bill paying and budgeting (thank God). In the meal cooking part of it, I'm the Leader since she loves my home cooking. There are a few dishes that she is terrific at though. Most other things, we both share in. I vaccum the carpets and she cleans the tile floors. I do the laundry and she cleans the bathrooms. I run the dishwasher and we take turns putting away the dishes. She helps me out in the launching and retrieving of our boat at a ramp. We both like to keep it clean. I bait the fishing hooks and cast into the water and she uses a net to help me bring a fish into the boat. So, who is the Leader of our marriage......BOTH of us!!
Biology (for the most part).
And, to clear up any misconceptions, I am NOT religious, so these ideas aren't based on the Bible.
I just feel like there are certain, unchangable roles that male and female play in the grand scheme of things, and by trying to even those playing fields, we do ourselves a HUGE injustice.
What aspect of biology are you referring to? What injustices are we imposing on ourselves by messing with established gender roles of our society exactly?.
I never inferred you were religious or that religion was the basis of your belief.
Only one steering wheel. Who ever takes the wheel is held responsible for anything and everything that happens.
My marriage doesn't fit the driving a car analogy. The dh and I are a kin to taking a leisurely stroll, holding hands, walking side by side.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jeninmt
Exactly... it works for us, and I don't expect it to work for all.
But at the same time, I sometimes wonder if a lot of the "problems" we have in realtionships these days aren't attributed to this idea that everyone has to be equal.
I am not saying my husband is a caveman and drags me around by my hair and I just pop out babies and have dinner waiting on the table when he gets home.
But, when it comes to making sure our family is taken care of, he has the reins.
I think knowing that ultimate responsibility makes him a better man and, and supporting him definitely makes me a better woman and mother.
But, again, it may not be for everyone.
Indeed, we're all different. What works for some could never work for others. It's good that you found a niche that fits you well.
Exactly... it works for us, and I don't expect it to work for all.
But at the same time, I sometimes wonder if a lot of the "problems" we have in realtionships these days aren't attributed to this idea that everyone has to be equal.
I am not saying my husband is a caveman and drags me around by my hair and I just pop out babies and have dinner waiting on the table when he gets home.
But, when it comes to making sure our family is taken care of, he has the reins.
I think knowing that ultimate responsibility makes him a better man and, and supporting him definitely makes me a better woman and mother.
But, again, it may not be for everyone.
You make a good point when you say that the need for equality in a relationship can tend to cause problems. So can letting one person be the complete leader of everything. I know couples that work with the "man is leader" and others where it's "equal".
I think where couples tend to get into trouble, is by taking things too far in one direction or the other. So many people now days take things to the extreme, when it doesn't need to be that way. Men can sometimes become over controlling, and women, when wanting equality, can turn in major __________ (fill in the blank with whatever term you see fit, but you know where I'm going with that one)!
I have been in relationships where both situations apply...I am just too stubborn and bullheaded to let the "man be in control" all the time, lol. But I also never DEMAND to have control over anything either...which is where many couples faulter.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
