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I have this unrational anxiety or what feels like a phobia of ending relationships, and I don’t know why. Even if it’s just a month or two long. Because of this, I often date girls longer than I should because I can’t gather the courage to sit down and have the breakup conversation. It’s like I can’t get the words to come out of my mouth. I worry about hurting the other person or them getting mad at me. Is this abnormal?
It's hard to end a relationship....even if it's a short-lived one. I think you just have the concern over hurting others like most of us do. I remember years ago crying over the fact that I'd need to break it off with someone....
Likely it gets a little easier over time. Best not to let a failing relationship go for longer than you are comfortable...makes it harder on both parties.
Well yes, I’m not going to give up dating to keep myself out of these breaking up situations.
I think he means you need to work on this "phobia," otherwise you're just hurting others and wasting their time because you're too scared to cut it off.
I have this unrational anxiety or what feels like a phobia of ending relationships, and I don’t know why. Even if it’s just a month or two long. Because of this, I often date girls longer than I should because I can’t gather the courage to sit down and have the breakup conversation. It’s like I can’t get the words to come out of my mouth. I worry about hurting the other person or them getting mad at me. Is this abnormal?
If it's only a month, you can just say something to the effect that it's not a good fit for you, but you enjoyed meeting and getting to know them a little, thank you.
In one month, how many times do you typically date a person? Some people only go on 4 dates in that time, which is nothing; not even a "relationship". Some people go on 8 or 12, and are an "item" halfway through or in the later stage of that. Obviously, it's easier to let someone down from 4 dates than from 10 or 12, that have developed into a relationship to the point that emotions are more deeply involved.
Select better relationships in the first place and don't drag it out.
And maybe don't rush into intimacy, so that there's less attachment on the other person's part. Take more time to get to know them first, and you may not even pursue a relationship in the first place, if you find incompatible aspects of their personality before you get more involved. There's less emotional wear and tear on both parties, that way.
If you can't handle the breakups, change your behavior. Change your dating m.o.
And maybe don't rush into intimacy, so that there's less attachment on the other person's part. Take more time to get to know them first, and you may not even pursue a relationship in the first place, if you find incompatible aspects of their personality before you get more involved. There's less emotional wear and tear on both parties, that way.
If you can't handle the breakups, change your behavior. Change your dating m.o.
I'll agree with this. I've found 1 month dating relationships to be fairly easy to end when sex isn't in the picture yet.
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