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Old 08-10-2009, 09:43 AM
 
2,190 posts, read 7,314,451 times
Reputation: 1288

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Twinkle Toes View Post
I think it's a terrific arrangement and one I'd like to have for myself!
X2!

I'm in military now but worked a few non-military professional office job before. Majority of people would much rather have a divorce than be fired. Just goes to show their priorities.

Last edited by TheJagMan; 08-10-2009 at 09:56 AM.. Reason: Clarity
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Old 08-10-2009, 09:45 AM
 
Location: Sherman Oaks, CA
6,565 posts, read 16,539,931 times
Reputation: 9351
I work for a financial advisor, and we have one married couple who are clients. He lives in Southern California and she lives in Missouri. I don't see how these arrangements can possibly work, but if both spouses are happy, then who am I to question it? They don't have any intention of living together again as far as I can tell. I'd be able to understand if the arrangement is temporary, of course. We all do what we have to do to keep food on the table.
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Old 08-10-2009, 09:46 AM
 
76 posts, read 179,291 times
Reputation: 68
I can't imagine such an arrangement working for the long term.

If it's temporary then it obviously depends on how mature the two people are and how far along their relationship is.

As long as the love is strong and enough visits can be made in between then there is no reason why a few months or a couple years "apart" should be the end all of the relationship.

I personally wouldn't want to go threw with it but that's just the clingy side of me.
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Old 08-10-2009, 09:52 AM
 
12,587 posts, read 15,421,671 times
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The news has been saying, "If you have a job....keep it." Hang on to what you have. So if you do get a job somewhere you have to go get it. Many are smart to hold on to what job they have just incase the move falls through.

Tough times calls for tough measures.

It's not like it was. Since you both are in your 60's you wouldn't understand how difficult it is now. Oh sure, you probably had the "depression" years and such but today is VERY difficult.

We need to say a prayer for everyone to stay strong.
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Old 08-10-2009, 10:42 AM
 
Location: united states of america
241 posts, read 414,675 times
Reputation: 120
Default Not the economy

Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveBoating View Post
I've heard more and more about couples who live apart (two different homes) because of jobs. This NEVER use to happen years ago!
True situations from here in Jax, FL:

We have a neighbor in the apt. complex who is 30 + is sharing an apt. with her mom because her husband is living/working in the same State, but on the southern end of it. She told us that he will be there for another year at least, but he does try come to see her a couple of times a month for a weekend.

Another lady here, has an apt. across from ours and her husband lives/works in the State above us. She told us that he makes much better money there than here. Their living situation does seem to bother her when we ask how he is doing.

Yesterday my wife and a young lady were talking at my wife's job and the young lady told her that her husband is living/working in Indiana. She moved here to Jacksonville and was waiting for him to come down. She talked to him the other day and he told her he that he wasn't going to move down here and didn't want her coming up there (to see him)! Well, well, well, so just what happened here (my wife wondered, but didn't say anything to the girl).

So, my question is: Is the economy breaking couples up or what the "H" is happening??? I understand marrying someone in the military who might be gone for some months, but this is different. Wife and I do come from the "old school" of thought and marriage (we are 60/61 yrs old) and just WOULDN'T live apart for any reason.
So "enlighten" us on what's going on and.......have you done this or would you do this??????


OH THAT MAN HAS FOUND ANOTHER LOVER HE HAD NO INTENTIONS FROM THE JUMP START OF EVER MOVING DOWN THERE WITH HIS WIFE.ANOTHER EXCUSE TO BE LOOSE IF YOU ASK ME
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Old 08-10-2009, 10:50 AM
 
985 posts, read 2,485,531 times
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I'd do it, absence makes the heart grow fonder!
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Old 08-10-2009, 10:51 AM
 
Location: Texas
66 posts, read 143,374 times
Reputation: 89
Quote:
Originally Posted by jaspalm View Post
We are thinking of doing this for about a year. I am moving to Sarasota, Florida, my home town, because I can not stand the winters etc, and he is staying here for a while while we save money. he will then come down after me proving that this was the right thing. We are excited about this and are doing it cause we have suffered hardship here and I am losing my house that I love and after long talks and consideration, he is letting me move back first to be happy. I have been home sick for years and the winters are so hard on me. I have visited Florda every year since we have moved to Wisconsin{12 years} and go on long stints with the kids and we are fine with the separation then. We have been married 15 years, have two little kids and the separation is not ideal but we are not afraid of it either. I can not predict the future of our relationship, but feel we would be fine. It is just not in us to end in divorce. Granted I would rather he move down with us, but the condition is for me to do a trial run to make sure it is the right thing before he gives up his career and he likes the weather in Wisconsin. He is only doing this crazy plan for me. So yea couples do this and it can work, I hope!!!!
Couples are also living separate for another reason today. Many get married for health care. They barely know each other but they marry for purely business. One has employer sponsored health insurance and another needs it. For a minimal dollars an employee can add a spouse on to their insurance plan.

So they get married, the uninsured pays the employee with health insurance for their portion of the health insurance fee plus a bit extra money to make it a business arrangement. It's not illegal but in a nation where we have the most despicable medical system.....some have to do what they have to do.
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Old 08-10-2009, 12:19 PM
 
Location: Marion, IN
8,190 posts, read 29,798,340 times
Reputation: 7308
I moved here to IN last fall. My husband thought it was too cold so he spent the winter in FL. We lived apart for 7 months in total.

Truth be told I found it refreshing to be on my own for a little while. It also gives you time to miss your spouse.
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Old 08-10-2009, 04:40 PM
 
Location: 53010
6 posts, read 36,455 times
Reputation: 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by Racelady88 View Post
I moved here to IN last fall. My husband thought it was too cold so he spent the winter in FL. We lived apart for 7 months in total.

Truth be told I found it refreshing to be on my own for a little while. It also gives you time to miss your spouse.
interesting that you did it and seem fine. Thanks for the input.
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Old 08-10-2009, 07:02 PM
 
Location: 53010
6 posts, read 36,455 times
Reputation: 16
Queenlisa--That response seems very negative to me. A person can only control their own actions. I believe in trust and if that is the case then so be it. I would be sad, but I can only control myself and how I handle such a negative situation. I believe and trust what my love one has said to me and plans for me. Plus, if you knew him, you would not of said such a thing. To each is own prediction.
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