Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 11-11-2009, 10:23 AM
 
6,764 posts, read 22,068,194 times
Reputation: 4773

Advertisements

Again, if it works for YOUR relationship, great. Who am I to judge?
I know people who have done this for short terms because of job situations. My dad worked about year in NH while we lived in NY (the company moved and he was considering moving us up here). Eventually he said, no, and found a job back in NY. (He used to come home most weekends.) My mom stayed home with us (3) kids

However, it was a very stressful time for us. I remember being about 9-10 and hating it.

About 10-12 years ago, his company (another one) moved to NJ. By that point, we were all adults, grown up. He would stay in NJ during the week and go to NY on weekends. My mom was home alone or maybe had a friend with her.

That didn't last too long either.

It's not something I would consider because we have a child who needs both parents home. Yes, I would love to work again (there is nothing happening here in Green Acres) but when one of us goes, the three of us go. My husband and I spent too much time apart in our lives. It's not happening again. It's bad enough he works nights which totally screws up everything.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 11-11-2009, 10:26 AM
 
Location: My Private Island
4,941 posts, read 8,324,254 times
Reputation: 12284
I could do it no problem. Just to be able to just relax, watch what I want without being followed into the room, him grabbing the remote and saying "you watchin' this?" then flipping endlessly through the channels. Eat what I want, when I want; have my own space in the bed......uh oh...I am starting to drool....

Last edited by seeniorita; 11-11-2009 at 11:04 AM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-11-2009, 11:02 AM
 
Location: Whiteville Tennessee
8,262 posts, read 18,480,961 times
Reputation: 10150
Quote:
Originally Posted by seeniorita View Post
I could do it no problem. Just to be able to just relax, watch what I want without being followed into the room, him grabbing the remote and saying "you watchin' this?" then flipping endlessly through the channels. Eat what I want, when I want; have my own space in the bed......uh oh...I am starting do drool....
I'm waiting!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-11-2009, 03:12 PM
 
Location: California
37,131 posts, read 42,196,846 times
Reputation: 35012
Actually this is exactly how things "used to be", just a little farther back in history than most people look is all.

Men would go off to seek their fortune, then send for their wife or family to join them. Sometimes years later. Sometimes never.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-11-2009, 03:34 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
29,739 posts, read 34,367,163 times
Reputation: 77069
And in lots of larger, wealthier homes, the husband had his own study and bedroom, and the wife had hers.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-11-2009, 04:16 PM
 
20,708 posts, read 19,353,439 times
Reputation: 8280
Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveBoating View Post
I've heard more and more about couples who live apart (two different homes) because of jobs. This NEVER use to happen years ago!
True situations from here in Jax, FL:

We have a neighbor in the apt. complex who is 30 + is sharing an apt. with her mom because her husband is living/working in the same State, but on the southern end of it. She told us that he will be there for another year at least, but he does try come to see her a couple of times a month for a weekend.

Another lady here, has an apt. across from ours and her husband lives/works in the State above us. She told us that he makes much better money there than here. Their living situation does seem to bother her when we ask how he is doing.

Yesterday my wife and a young lady were talking at my wife's job and the young lady told her that her husband is living/working in Indiana. She moved here to Jacksonville and was waiting for him to come down. She talked to him the other day and he told her he that he wasn't going to move down here and didn't want her coming up there (to see him)! Well, well, well, so just what happened here (my wife wondered, but didn't say anything to the girl).

So, my question is: Is the economy breaking couples up or what the "H" is happening??? I understand marrying someone in the military who might be gone for some months, but this is different. Wife and I do come from the "old school" of thought and marriage (we are 60/61 yrs old) and just WOULDN'T live apart for any reason.
So "enlighten" us on what's going on and.......have you done this or would you do this??????
Hi LoveBoating,

Gee that was hard to see coming.. That is why the career women was not for me.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-12-2009, 03:58 AM
 
Location: Bradenton, Florida
27,232 posts, read 46,645,569 times
Reputation: 11084
Hope not. I know I wouldn't feel it was worth it.

Yet, I can see some situations where two people are separated for a lengthy period of time--one or both are serving in the military.

Someone I was willing to marry would also be someone I'd want to spend a good deal of time with--as much as possible.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-13-2009, 09:33 AM
 
Location: Tampa baby!!
3,256 posts, read 8,899,915 times
Reputation: 1848
We are living apart, but are still married due to finances. He is an IT contractor, so when a contract ends, he may have to come back for short periods of time. I don't like it, and I think it confuses the kids and our routine personally.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-13-2009, 12:44 PM
 
1,196 posts, read 1,804,543 times
Reputation: 785
Quote:
Originally Posted by amsherwo View Post
I couldn't personally do this, but there are a lot of folks that I work with that live apart from their spouses during the work week (they have a small apartment near work) and then go home on the weekends.
I saw this on House Hunters last . The female lived in San Fran (condo) during the week and her husband lived in I believe Dansville (a surburb). They were looking to buy a weekend, get together house in Napa Valley.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-13-2009, 01:33 PM
 
Location: Orlando, FL
12,200 posts, read 18,371,678 times
Reputation: 6655
I have friends who do this. They were living in CA but her school did layoffs and she was tossed, couldn’t find a job. They couldn’t make it off his salary alone so she and the kids moved back to Tampa with her mom and he lives in a studio apartment in CA. I don’t know what their plans are for permanent relocation but I know she’s not happy with this arrangement at all.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 05:33 PM.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top