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My boyfriend and myself both have several friends of the opposite sex.Some we both know from High School & College and some in our places of employment.We're both very secure in our relationship that it doesn't bother me or him if we both would from time to time have lunch or go places with our friends alone like in fishing/hunting/target practice.Some people claim that we have an open relationship but I disagree with them.We trust one another and that's what a relationship is all about is trust.If you don't have trust in a realtionship then it's not a relationship after all.
I know it can be tricky to have platonic friends of the opposite sex yes but if all's well in the relationship in which each partner is content and secure in the other's love then it should never cause a problem.
My boyfriend and myself both have several friends of the opposite sex.Some we both know from High School & College and some in our places of employment.We're both very secure in our relationship that it doesn't bother me or him if we both would from time to time have lunch or go places with our friends alone like in fishing/hunting/target practice.Some people claim that we have an open relationship but I disagree with them.We trust one another and that's what a relationship is all about is trust.If you don't have trust in a realtionship then it's not a relationship after all.
I know it can be tricky to have platonic friends of the opposite sex yes but if all's well in the relationship in which each partner is content and secure in the other's love then it should never cause a problem.
Some of my guy friends are friends I had before I married my husband - same with some of his friends that happen to be female. In a mature committed relationship this is no big deal I think complications arise when you are already married and THEN you make a new friend of the opposite sex - that has to be handled just right.
My boyfriend and myself both have several friends of the opposite sex.Some we both know from High School & College and some in our places of employment.We're both very secure in our relationship that it doesn't bother me or him if we both would from time to time have lunch or go places with our friends alone like in fishing/hunting/target practice.Some people claim that we have an open relationship but I disagree with them.We trust one another and that's what a relationship is all about is trust.If you don't have trust in a realtionship then it's not a relationship after all.
I know it can be tricky to have platonic friends of the opposite sex yes but if all's well in the relationship in which each partner is content and secure in the other's love then it should never cause a problem.
What's the question?
Why don't your friends understand your relationship?
I honestly don't agree with it. I mean, you may trust your boyfriend but do you trust the other gal? She may have other intentions. Things get alittle awkward and BAM! It happens. You have allowed it to happen. You were part of the problem.
See. I will illustrate.
Put a cake on the table and see if anyone will take some of it. They will. Not right away but sometime, someone will break down and try a peice.
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 20,005,830 times
Reputation: 9418
Quote:
Originally Posted by funymann
What's the question?
Why don't your friends understand your relationship?
I honestly don't agree with it. I mean, you may trust your boyfriend but do you trust the other gal? She may have other intentions. Things get alittle awkward and BAM! It happens. You have allowed it to happen. You were part of the problem.
See. I will illustrate.
Put a cake on the table and see if anyone will take some of it. They will. Not right away but sometime, someone will break down and try a peice.
Don't put the "cake" in front of him.
I hate to say it but this is how I feel about it. I've lived long enough to see it happen time and time again among couples who say they're so secure in their relationship but someone else--on the outside--who doesn't care about your relationship comes along and, as funymann says, wants a piece of cake.
If my hubby has a or several female friends, I'd ask him to invite them (with me of course) to a restaurant or some other public place. If I see something weird in the way they talk to each other, or react to each other then I'd raise an eyebrow (for example, if one of them is too "touch" or makes tons on inside jokes with him; things like that). If they act like siblings, why bother?! I have plenty of male friends because I grew up surrounded by men; is natural for me to be with men without feeling attracted and/or making them feel attracted to me. At the moment, I haven't met any of his female friends because he has none. However, he had met all of my male friends and had become good friends with them too.
I honestly don't agree with it. I mean, you may trust your boyfriend but do you trust the other gal? She may have other intentions. Things get alittle awkward and BAM! It happens. You have allowed it to happen. You were part of the problem.
So, the girl has other intentions but her boyfriend is trustworthy, so how would there be a BAM? And how would it be the OP's fault if something were to happen?
My boyfriend and myself both have several friends of the opposite sex.Some we both know from High School & College and some in our places of employment.We're both very secure in our relationship that it doesn't bother me or him if we both would from time to time have lunch or go places with our friends alone like in fishing/hunting/target practice.Some people claim that we have an open relationship but I disagree with them.We trust one another and that's what a relationship is all about is trust.If you don't have trust in a realtionship then it's not a relationship after all.
I know it can be tricky to have platonic friends of the opposite sex yes but if all's well in the relationship in which each partner is content and secure in the other's love then it should never cause a problem.
I agree but I think in some cases, the friendship can be taken to an inappropriate level where there is way too much contact and it's understandable the person's SO might feel uncomfortable with it. This goes for any type of relationship with any gender though, not just a friendship with the opposite sex. Sometimes it's the mother or a sibling who is too involved in the relationship and your SO doesn't know how to tell them to back off. I've even seen someone posting for advice about her boyfriends MALE best friend who tried to act more like a boyfriend to him and she suspected him to be gay.
But if the level of contact and involvement is acceptable and appropriate and all parties are secure in their relationship (and with themselves - security has a lot to do with self esteem), I absolutely agree that romantic partners can have platonic friends of the opposite gender.
Quote:
I honestly don't agree with it. I mean, you may trust your boyfriend but do you trust the other gal? She may have other intentions. Things get alittle awkward and BAM! It happens. You have allowed it to happen. You were part of the problem.
She doesn't need to trust the other girl - the other girl can not make him do anything he doesn't want to do. If she has other intentions and she makes a move on him or something, if he is a trustworthy person, he will not betray his girlfriend.
I have friends of the opposite sex and most have started out or ended up being attracted to me. I have found myself attracted to some of them. However, with time (and boundaries) we learned to get past that and grew into great friendships. You can't help how you feel about a person, but you can make the decision not to act on it. So, with enough maturity and respect for what really counts, people can absolutely be friends with the opposite sex without any static.
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 20,005,830 times
Reputation: 9418
Quote:
Originally Posted by PassTheChocolate
I have friends of the opposite sex and most have started out or ended up being attracted to me. I have found myself attracted to some of them. However, with time (and boundaries) we learned to get past that and grew into great friendships. You can't help how you feel about a person, but you can make the decision not to act on it. So, with enough maturity and respect for what really counts, people can absolutely be friends with the opposite sex without any static.
That's the problem, I don't think enough people have enough respect for themselves, let alone, someone else and their relationship to pull that one off. I can't even count how many of my boyfriend's friends have come on to me behind their backs and how many girlfriends of mine have come on to a boyfriend or even my husband. It usually starts out as flirting and escelates. People have a hard time stopping the flirting before it gets out of control. They're too busy relishing the attention.
People have a hard time stopping the flirting before it gets out of control. They're too busy relishing the attention.
Oy, SO TRUE.
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I think complications arise when you are already married and THEN you make a new friend of the opposite sex - that has to be handled just right.
