need to know what this means, does it make someone a bad person (dating, boyfriend)

[msboom]

Part of the reason I was attracted to my current boyfriend and chose him was I thought he was a good person. I just found out he "stole" his roommates girlfriend in the past. This is freaking me out because he has so many female friends and I am starting to think this is his mo in getting women, befriending them (how I fell for him, he was a good listener and seemed to be a really good person.) Somehow I put together if he cheated this roommate (whom I assume was a friend) , maybe he could cheat on me , too. He has so many female friends hanging around and , to be honest is so smooth with his 'Im just a sweet little harmless guy' vibe, ('Im just a good friend') I am starting to see why he deals with some of these nutty female friends of his- are they back up so he can get another girlfriend quick if he chooses? or am I just thinking WAY too much on a mistake he made in the past? But don't actions speak louder than words? If a person does something once, won't they do it again? Doesn't a persons action speak of thier true character? what do you all think? thank-you

[malamute]

He sounds like one of those knight in shining armor types that you definitely are better off avoiding. These are the guys who pretend to be good pals with some guy but will chat with those guy's girlfriends, listening intently to every sordid detail of their best pal's love life -- and then turn around and comfort the girlfriend by bedding her down himself.

These guys are smart. They know that giving a shoulder to cry on can get them a whole lot more in bed.

[Whyte Byrd]

Since no one, I'm assuming, was married, like they say, all's fair in love and war. Sometimes it's a fine line that separates the two.

[Twinkle Toes]

If it smells like a dog and walks like a dog .....

[ChessieMom]

Too little information here to make any judgments. For one, "stealing a roommate's girlfriend" isn't considered "cheating", at least not in my book. It might mean he isn't a great friend, but the girlfriend was obviously "available". Now maybe the girlfriend cheated her boyfriend...but without knowing the details, who knows? And for your purposes, it doesn't matter.

I think you are over-reacting to something you don't really know much about in the first place.

[PassTheChocolate]

Oh hunny, I hope you have your seat belt on.

Truth is, he could be all those things you are thinking. Go with your gut. However, if you are one to always think the worst, no one here will be able to help you.

He "stole" someone's girlfriend. That's an interesting term. No one can steal what doesn't belong to you. It's not the most popular of actions, but not knowing all the details, I'll withhold judgment. There are hoochies who get passed around like a doobie, and others who leave an undesirable situation and find happiness where others may not approve. Life ain't fair.

[miu]

More details on how he "stole" his roommate's girlfriend. How long had they been dating. And where is this young woman now? What did he do with her? How long did he date her? Why did they break up? Is she one of his female friends now?

Perhaps, she wasn't that into him roommate. They weren't really in a relationship when she decided she preferred the company of your current boyfriend.

Otherwise, are you really your boyfriend's girlfriend? How do you know that he considers you his girlfriend? Has he said so without your prompting him to? Have you slept with him yet?

As I suggested in the other thread, just enjoy his company, but make no plans for a long term relationship. Keep getting to know the real him. And be honest with him about who you are. He's clearly fun to be with. And don't be upset if and when things don't work out for you. It's never a good idea to decide so early on if a person you are dating and crushing on is truly marriage material.

Again, you are only crushing on him bigtime. The crush will wear off eventually.

BTW how old are the two of you?

[thriftylefty]

Some times roommates are not necessarily best friends, I couldn't date my best friends girl friend without there being a long long talk between us. But it could be the girl who doesn't mind getting "passed around " I still don't think you can really steal some body from some one else.

[msboom]

Originally Posted by miu

More details on how he "stole" his roommate's girlfriend. How long had they been dating. And where is this young woman now? What did he do with her? How long did he date her? Why did they break up? Is she one of his female friends now?

Perhaps, she wasn't that into him roommate. They weren't really in a relationship when she decided she preferred the company of your current boyfriend.

Otherwise, are you really your boyfriend's girlfriend? How do you know that he considers you his girlfriend? Has he said so without your prompting him to? Have you slept with him yet?

As I suggested in the other thread, just enjoy his company, but make no plans for a long term relationship. Keep getting to know the real him. And be honest with him about who you are. He's clearly fun to be with. And don't be upset if and when things don't work out for you. It's never a good idea to decide so early on if a person you are dating and crushing on is truly marriage material.

Again, you are only crushing on him bigtime. The crush will wear off eventually.

BTW how old are the two of you?

yes, we have slept together, almost since day 1 of being girlfriend, yes, Im an official girlfriend, not an assumption. we are in our 30s.

[Bosco55David]

Originally Posted by Whyte Byrd

Since no one, I'm assuming, was married, like they say, all's fair in love and war. Sometimes it's a fine line that separates the two.

Exactly. That's the great thing about dating, you can quit at anytime if you find something better.