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My point, which has been difficult to make, is that as long as you maintain standards, your following claims ring hollow:
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Ultimately, some of us who want to get married, wont...and we will be left out in the cold.
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Myself for example...I can't get boyfriends. So it's not like I have a choice to enter into a partnership...there are no opportunities for me. People cna't enter into a commitment when they aren't even given an opportunity.
If you're an attractive female who chooses to date men who only want sex, maybe it is a bad or unwitting choice, but it seems to me you must acknowledge that this is still a choice.
I'm acquainted with a few homely, broke, poorly educated, unsociable men who would love to have a mutual committment with an attractive woman.
There is someone for everyone, but that doesn't mean you are destined to meet one another. The world is full of compromise, and for that reason there is no shortage of alcohol and divorce attorney's.
My point, which has been difficult to make, is that as long as you maintain some minimum standards, your following claims ring hollow:
If you're an attractive female who chooses to date men who only want sex, it seems to me you must acknowledge that this is a choice.
I don't CHOOSE to date those men...those are the only men I am meeting, so I don't have a choice. Yeah I can deny a date with them, but usually they are good actors when I meet the first time (I'm not meeting them online), and then on our date the truth comes out. Men are so conniving.
My point, which has been difficult to make, is that as long as you maintain standards, your following claims ring hollow:
If you're an attractive female who chooses to date men who only want sex, maybe it is a bad or unwitting choice, but it seems to me you must acknowledge that this is still a choice.
I'm acquainted with a few homely, broke, poorly educated, unsociable men who would love to have a mutual committment with an attractive woman.
ok, but who really wants to date someone who is antisocial and will sit at a meal with you and not say a word? How boring.
ok, but who really wants to date someone who is antisocial and will sit at a meal with you and not say a word? How boring.
I agree.
I just think your prior statements trivialize the plight of those who are geniunely at a mental and physical disadvantage in finding a mate.
I'm a fairly attractive guy. I have a very hard time finding girls that I'm physically, mentally, and spiritually attracted to. I acknowledge that my "problems" are self-created as a result of my high standards. In fact, they aren't really problems at all.
I have an acquaintance with some minor form of autism, minor physical abnormalities, who tries to play WAY over his league. If there's anyone who "can't", he can't. But the thing is, he can, he just isn't putting his effort in the right direction.
So...people who are single by choice aside,...if there really is someone for everyone and as some people said, "several"...then why are there so so many single people? It just doesn't check out. Ultimately, some of us who want to get married, wont...and we will be left out in the cold.
Again, some people don't take advantage of the opportunities; they're shy, scared or blind to what is in front of them. Some plain screw it up and scare/push others away. It's a huge world, even a huge country. Some people have to work harder than others, some won't settle, but if you want it bad enough and you are proactive in finding it, the likelihood of it happening is much greater. No guarantees, but I think a lot of people are alone unnecessarily.
I'm willing to wait for it. That's the tack I've always taken in the past. Not important enough to me to concern myself with. If it happens, it happens, and if it doesn't, it doesn't.
Just pondering whether there is someone for everyone.
Probably.
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Originally Posted by Cherie Tebo
Are we always destined to meet that person?
Probably not. Barring polygamy, we'd have to Xerox many people, hundreds or thousands of times so that there were enough of them to go around.
This is one of those fantasies that women, in particular, like to cling to. Most people would only be the choice of a tiny minority and so their chance of ever encountering that person, are therefore very small.
but I think a lot of people are alone unnecessarily.
i am alone cause im tired of dealing with b.s.
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It there really someone for everyone?
