No more sex, what should I do?

[Lindsey_Mcfarren]

Janelle, if it hurts its most likely because when women enter menopause they are less able to produce their own lubrication. Buy some and get on with it.

If anyone is having painful sex that is a reason to go BACK to the doctor, I know of NO condition that should cause this even after a person is healed from surgery.

The OPs story just doesn't ring true unless his wife has had a hysterectomy and he is trying to have sex with her the next day.

Anyone notice he never came back??

[Waynec613]

Originally Posted by BCreass

I've noticed a bit of a trend here (and in life, in general)....

If it's a woman posting about how she's in a sexless marriage, most people tell her to leave and basically make the husband out to be some sort of loser.

If it's a man posting about how he's in a sexless marriage, most people insist that he sticks it out and they remind him of his vows, i.e. "in sickness and in health".

Personally, I'd give the same advice no matter what....try all you can, get whatever help you can and be patient. I just don't like double standards though.

I hate to play the part of another poster here, but I think what you believe in this case doesn't hold. Although, many are responding without much of any real clue as to the situation itself. If any spouse was encountering an illness, or just had surgery, I think you'd get the same gist.

"Break out BOB", "Burn the carpet", "Jill time!", etc..

This one is fairly clear-cut IF it's simply a case of the spouse recovering. There's a decent line I think between denying someone's sexual needs, and honoring your love and commitment of/to/for the other.

If your not interested, or "the change" is effecting that aspect, then ya, there does seem to be a consistent double-standard going. Sex isn't everything, but there are big differences between "patience with understanding" and "settling".

[janelle144]

[SIZE=5]Lindsey_Mcfarren[/SIZE]

In case you don't know who I am answering. Yep, I know that. I talked to my doc and got on hormones but I don't want cancer and anyway they advise to only be on them for a short time. I think a few years is long enough.

Personally, I don't like lubes but will use them if rushed. Otherwise, it can be hit or miss. Sometimes no pain at all, other times some pain, and other lots of pain. Hubby is patient and I am ok with it. We stop if necessary. A little pain won't kill me. I want to make him happy and he is not a pig. He is more concerned than I am about it. Doesn't want to hurt me so I am willing to try. I have an appointment with the doc for my physical in a few months so can discuss it more then.

I know I am not the only woman who goes through this after menopause. Sex does not stop, if that is a news flash for younger people. Duh. The only thing that changes is the body, not the brain. LOL

[Lindsey_Mcfarren]

I look forward to menopause so I don't have to worry about getting pregnant anymore.

I would keep going to the doctor until they came up with a better answer for you.

[Mr.Cat]

Buy a sex doll and have unprotected sex with it.