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Old 10-31-2010, 04:30 AM
 
11,000 posts, read 7,217,137 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MySweetLips View Post
Cowards break up with people via email.
Cowards lie, cheat, steal, abuse, use, manipulate others
Cowards are insecure and lack self respect / esteem and therefore are unable to respect others.
Cowards blame others, make excuses for their mistakes and run from obligation, duty, responsibilities, commitments, rules, laws that govern society.
Cowards believe in no one, No God or higher power, no consequence for their misconduct, no regret for their wrong doing, no shame for their sins.
Cowards hide and lurk in the shadows, behind others who they resent and envy.
Cowards hurt others with their lack of morals and deceitful ways
but most of all...
Cowards hurt themselves.

How does a loser ever win?
Losers NEVER win...ever...

Cowards are LOSERS....
Losers in love
Losers in life.

Good Men are not Cowards.

Agreed!
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Old 10-31-2010, 09:48 AM
 
Location: NYC area
3,486 posts, read 3,425,451 times
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This is an old thread, and I presume the OP has already made her choice, but for what it's worth, here is my two cents:

I am on the fence about this one, quite frankly, and I think it depends on a lot of different variables. My inclination is to say that unless there are technical impediments to this beyond your control, or you are genuinely in fear for your physical safety, you should deliver the news in person. No matter what rationalizations are offered, breaking up via e-mail is cowardly and callous, or at least always seems that way. From the point of view of the "break-upee" it's no different than coming home to find, all of a sudden, that its locks have been changed and one's possessions are all stuffed in lawn bags and piled up in the driveway. It's cold, and manifests a lack of respect for the fact that you once did have a committed relationship.

On the other hand, breaking up by e-mail or letter gives the other person an opportunity to preserve his dignity, so that his initial reaction is private and not seen by the one who is dumping him. It allows him to collect his thoughts and, if he wishes, to send a calm and meaningful response that he is not later going to regret or feel embarrassed by.

So it really depends on the personalities of the people involved. If it's likely to get very emotionally messy and degenerate into a huge, ugly fight complete with name-calling and ridiculous accusations, perhaps e-mail is the way to go. But it still shouldn't be one's first choice.
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Old 11-01-2010, 06:38 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,157 posts, read 57,153,700 times
Reputation: 38430
Quote:
Originally Posted by Redisca View Post
This is an old thread, and I presume the OP has already made her choice, but for what it's worth, here is my two cents:

I am on the fence about this one, quite frankly, and I think it depends on a lot of different variables. My inclination is to say that unless there are technical impediments to this beyond your control, or you are genuinely in fear for your physical safety, you should deliver the news in person. No matter what rationalizations are offered, breaking up via e-mail is cowardly and callous, or at least always seems that way. From the point of view of the "break-upee" it's no different than coming home to find, all of a sudden, that its locks have been changed and one's possessions are all stuffed in lawn bags and piled up in the driveway. It's cold, and manifests a lack of respect for the fact that you once did have a committed relationship.

On the other hand, breaking up by e-mail or letter gives the other person an opportunity to preserve his dignity, so that his initial reaction is private and not seen by the one who is dumping him. It allows him to collect his thoughts and, if he wishes, to send a calm and meaningful response that he is not later going to regret or feel embarrassed by.

So it really depends on the personalities of the people involved. If it's likely to get very emotionally messy and degenerate into a huge, ugly fight complete with name-calling and ridiculous accusations, perhaps e-mail is the way to go. But it still shouldn't be one's first choice.
Got to agree with you about it depending...

While at first glance a dear John/Jane letter (or email) might seem cold and cowardly, I can think of times when it might be necessary. If the person being broken up with has a bad temper or is prone to histrionics a letter might be safer for the person doing the breaking up.

Also, I agree that a letter could help preserve the person's dignity initally and might be considered a kindness. Though I would also say there should be a face to face meeting after the letter to allow the person who was broken up with a chance to "have their say" and get some kind of closure.

I've said it before, it's never easy being the person who's being left.

BUT, it's also not always easy being the person doing the breaking up. When a relationship isn't working for BOTH people involved, then it's not working - no matter how much one of the two really believes in it or in what it "could be".
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