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Old 07-06-2009, 12:01 PM
 
Location: Florida
7,269 posts, read 9,163,848 times
Reputation: 6013

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Quote:
Originally Posted by rubber_factory View Post
I've never given much thought to womaning-up. I'm a man, so I think it would feel awkward.
Same thing for men - to "man-up."
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Old 07-06-2009, 12:01 PM
 
28,906 posts, read 44,913,365 times
Reputation: 45762
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar View Post
Actually, it's about saving HIS time (and gas) as he'd be the one driving out to see me. But thanks for making me out to be the villain anyways.

I like the suggestion about writing it out and taking the note with me, but still discussing it in person. I was just hoping to avoid having snot running down my nose and all that. It's hard to feel "grownup" when that happens. But I've cried in front of him several times before, so it's nothing he hasn't seen before. He's not really an emotional guy himself, so I just thought it'd be easier for us both if he didn't have to deal with all that.

But fine, I'll do it in person.
You'll really like yourself better for having done it. I remember breaking up with a girlfriend of mine. The easy thing for me to have done was to write a letter. But I drove 250 miles to do it and drove back. I was right to break it off with her, yet I'm glad that I respected her enough to do it in person.
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Old 07-06-2009, 12:04 PM
 
Location: downtown Sarasota
4,613 posts, read 12,001,630 times
Reputation: 1938
My xboyfriend of eight years broke up with me back in 2007 by leaving a note on the coffee table. He packed up & moved out while I was at work. I came home on a Friday afternoon and found the note.

I forgot that he had told me that's how he left his previous girlfriend.

It's the coward's way out.
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Old 07-06-2009, 12:07 PM
 
Location: Florida
7,269 posts, read 9,163,848 times
Reputation: 6013
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar View Post
Actually, it's about saving HIS time (and gas) as he'd be the one driving out to see me. But thanks for making me out to be the villain anyways.

I like the suggestion about writing it out and taking the note with me, but still discussing it in person. I was just hoping to avoid having snot running down my nose and all that. It's hard to feel "grownup" when that happens. But I've cried in front of him several times before, so it's nothing he hasn't seen before. He's not really an emotional guy himself, so I just thought it'd be easier for us both if he didn't have to deal with all that.

But fine, I'll do it in person.

How sweet of you to worry about him spending a couple bucks on gas. I's funny how we women seldom worry about a man spending money on gas to see us and to take us out. . except when it works to our disadvantage.

I did not make you look like anything - if you feel like a villain, which no one has called you - that was of no one's doing. . . perhaps it's just your conscience nudging you. You know in your heart of hearts what is right and what is wrong.

At least you know about the snot . . and this time you will carry tissues.
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Old 07-06-2009, 12:13 PM
 
Location: Bradenton, Florida
27,236 posts, read 40,055,418 times
Reputation: 10909
It's also non confrontational. Who needs the drama?
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Old 07-06-2009, 12:14 PM
 
Location: Bradenton, Florida
27,236 posts, read 40,055,418 times
Reputation: 10909
Quote:
Originally Posted by JeepGirl118 View Post
LOL - are you serious. . . now it's going to try to be justified that the guy might split in half and be driven to lunacy?

She already said he is not in love with her. . .think, think.

You watch too many movies.
I had a woman freak out on me and cause problems for me at my job. Tried to, anyway. Who needs the drama?
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Old 07-06-2009, 12:17 PM
 
Location: Florida
7,269 posts, read 9,163,848 times
Reputation: 6013
Quote:
Originally Posted by TKramar View Post
It's also non confrontational. Who needs the drama?

We're human beings - not Ostrich's, TK.

Bury your head in the sand as an Ostrich enough with that arse sticking straight up in the air - you are bound to get a swift, hard kick of reality, eventually.
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Old 07-06-2009, 12:20 PM
 
Location: Florida
7,269 posts, read 9,163,848 times
Reputation: 6013
Quote:
Originally Posted by TKramar View Post
I had a woman freak out on me and cause problems for me at my job. Tried to, anyway. Who needs the drama?
What can I say - you must have been a stallion. . .

When you got it - you got it. . .
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Old 07-06-2009, 12:23 PM
 
Location: Ohio
751 posts, read 1,404,390 times
Reputation: 645
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar View Post
I've decided that I need to end my one-year relationship with my boyfriend. I am breaking up with him because although I care about him very much, I feel like my feelings aren't returned and he's just biding his time with me until something better comes along. I am tired of feeling this way, so I don't see the point in continuing the relationship.

In the past, I've broken up with people via e-mail and over the phone, but those were shorter relationships and I did not have strong feelings for those people. I know that it is usually advisable for break ups to be done in person, but I am a highly emotional person and I'll end up crying and won't be able to say what I really want to say. I wouldn't want him to come see me thinking that we're going out to have a fun time and I'm really just planning to break up with him. I don't think he'll be that upset because as I've said, I know he's not in love with me, but I feel like it's a waste of time to meet up just to break up. I don't want to do it over the phone because I'll cry and won't be able to talk. Writing is the only way that I can present my thoughts calmly and not come off as an emotional wreck.

Although he doesn't love me, he's a good guy and hasn't been a complete jerk to me, so I do care about his feelings. Would an e-mail break up be inappropriate in this case? Would it be better if I mailed him a letter? What do you guys think?

I don't think it should make that much of a difference on how long someone has been in a relationship with someone whether they're living together or not when they've decided to break-up with that particular person that they respectly tell them face to face.To me that would be considered showing respect for someone elses feelings and being considerate as well.

I'm a sensative woman too and have very tender feelings and I know I would break down in tears while looking at him face to face with his sad eyes looking back at me while telling the man in my life that I was no longer interested in him and having no choice but end things with him.That would be one of the hardest choices I'd ever have to make and one of the hardest things I think I'd ever have to do by telling someone that I no longer wished to have them in my life any longer.

You're the really the only one who can decide how you handle your situation.I just know what I'd do and how I'd feel if ever having to face this.
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Old 07-06-2009, 12:23 PM
 
Location: So Cal
38,506 posts, read 37,550,832 times
Reputation: 39288
Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223 View Post
Exactly. I've decided that "Grow Up" is the correct answer to about 90% of these threads.
To add to the grown up answer, I think in general if you have a situation and say you have a couple of choices, then usually the harder or more difficult decision/action is usually the "right" one.

Just a thought.
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