U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
 
Old 07-06-2009, 02:13 PM
 
8,468 posts, read 13,222,091 times
Reputation: 7511

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by rubber_factory View Post
To add onto the original question -

which is worse: breaking up by e-mail, or slowly growing apart until one of you just disappears?
The latter. People who let relationships end this way are pretty cowardly. They don't have the guts to actually break up or tell the person that they're ending it. They just ignore them and hope they get the hint. That person will eventually figure it out, but that doesn't make it feel any better.
Quick reply to this message

 
Old 07-06-2009, 02:13 PM
 
Location: Florida
7,269 posts, read 9,205,592 times
Reputation: 6013
Quote:
Originally Posted by rubber_factory View Post
Thank you!

I was beginning to think the question was too difficult.
Disappearing and email are both cowardly.

Manning-up - womaning-up. . same concept. Both require stepping up to plate. What was so difficult to comprehend about my response?!
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-06-2009, 02:16 PM
 
48,880 posts, read 39,370,650 times
Reputation: 30543
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar View Post
I've decided that I need to end my one-year relationship with my boyfriend. I am breaking up with him because although I care about him very much, I feel like my feelings aren't returned and he's just biding his time with me until something better comes along. I am tired of feeling this way, so I don't see the point in continuing the relationship.

In the past, I've broken up with people via e-mail and over the phone, but those were shorter relationships and I did not have strong feelings for those people. I know that it is usually advisable for break ups to be done in person, but I am a highly emotional person and I'll end up crying and won't be able to say what I really want to say. I wouldn't want him to come see me thinking that we're going out to have a fun time and I'm really just planning to break up with him. I don't think he'll be that upset because as I've said, I know he's not in love with me, but I feel like it's a waste of time to meet up just to break up. I don't want to do it over the phone because I'll cry and won't be able to talk. Writing is the only way that I can present my thoughts calmly and not come off as an emotional wreck.

Although he doesn't love me, he's a good guy and hasn't been a complete jerk to me, so I do care about his feelings. Would an e-mail break up be inappropriate in this case? Would it be better if I mailed him a letter? What do you guys think?
I think that any relationship that's gone on for a couple months or more deserves a face-2-face breakup unless there are extenuating circumstances. (Like you caught them cheating, abuse etc.)
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-06-2009, 02:19 PM
 
Location: Florida
7,269 posts, read 9,205,592 times
Reputation: 6013
Quote:
Originally Posted by TKramar View Post
Coming into my workplace and shouting at me...is drama.
Or exciting - depending how boring the workday has been.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-06-2009, 02:20 PM
 
Location: Bradenton, Florida
27,236 posts, read 40,261,063 times
Reputation: 10915
And completely unnecessary.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-06-2009, 02:28 PM
 
Location: Moose Jaw, in between the Moose's butt and nose.
4,945 posts, read 7,092,886 times
Reputation: 1687
Would you be ok if your employer told you that you were fired by an email?
If not, it's no different when breaking up with someone. It's a bogus, gutless thing to do.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-06-2009, 02:31 PM
 
Location: Bradenton, Florida
27,236 posts, read 40,261,063 times
Reputation: 10915
It would be okay with me--but my employer doesn't have an email address for me. Plus, I don't check my email on a daily basis...but I work pretty much 5 days a week.

If my S.O. isn't living with me, then we would probably only see each other on weekends. So that's different.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-06-2009, 02:37 PM
 
Location: James Island, SC
1,628 posts, read 3,094,268 times
Reputation: 926
Quote:
Originally Posted by TKramar View Post
You know what folks? All of you who suggest doing it in person? What if he takes it badly, and attacks the OP? It is always safest to limit your risk as much as possible.
Just because you attract psychos, doesn't mean everyone does.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar View Post
Actually, it's about saving HIS time (and gas) as he'd be the one driving out to see me. But thanks for making me out to be the villain anyways.
Um, why exactly is the burden on him to come to YOU? The last time I broke up with someone, I drove an hour and a half to talk to him in person.

Quote:
Originally Posted by rubber_factory View Post
To add onto the original question -

which is worse: breaking up by e-mail, or slowly growing apart until one of you just disappears?
You act like those are the only 2 choices. Neither one is mature.

If you can't break up with someone with a modicum of respect, you probably can't be IN a relationship respectfully, either.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-06-2009, 02:38 PM
 
Location: Coachella Valley, California
15,532 posts, read 35,641,148 times
Reputation: 13121
So many pages for such a simple question. Should the OP break up in person or by email. The answer is in person. Crisis averted.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-06-2009, 02:40 PM
 
22,770 posts, read 25,182,020 times
Reputation: 14506
Quote:
Originally Posted by DennyCrane View Post
The latter. People who let relationships end this way are pretty cowardly. They don't have the guts to actually break up or tell the person that they're ending it. They just ignore them and hope they get the hint. That person will eventually figure it out, but that doesn't make it feel any better.
Well, if the abandonment is mutual, would this then be mutually-shared cowardice?

Quote:
Originally Posted by JeepGirl118 View Post
Disappearing and email are both cowardly.

Manning-up - womaning-up. . same concept. Both require stepping up to plate. What was so difficult to comprehend about my response?!
Well, I asked which was worse, breaking up over e-mail, or disappearing.

Your response was something along the times of: "face to face is the way to go," and said something about Womaning up.

Sort of like me asking what your favorite day of the week is, and you answering, "yellow".

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mearth View Post
You act like those are the only 2 choices. Neither one is mature.
I just asked a question. A really simple one: Choice A or Choice B.

It'd be real helpful if folks wouldn't try and choose Choice C, or to try and extrapolate something about me via the question.

Quote:
If you can't break up with someone with a modicum of respect, you probably can't be IN a relationship respectfully, either.
I disagree with your premise, but regardless, what's this got to do with me?
Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


 
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:
Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top