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He had anger, rage and violence issues and poor impulse control.
I worked very hard for a period of time to elevate his self esteem to a point where he was comfortable with the idea of leaving and finally he did.
So I guess whilst the final decision to end the relationship came down to him, ultimately I know that was because I'd been encouraging him to do so for some time.
She dumped me. Most of her complaints were that I wasn't considerate enough of her needs. Given all that is on my plate, I doubt that I could have done more to satisfy her, but I certainly would have been open for suggestions.
When we first hooked up, she didn't want me to tell anyone about us. However, after the breakup, I did discuss this with about a dozen friends. One said I was crazy to get involved with a recently divorced woman. All the rest said that I was nuts getting involved with her, because she is a needy narcissist. In as much as I've known her for nearly 20 years, I guess that I'm just unobservant.
Anyhow, she made it easy for me. Her last complaint - like a kick in the groin - was that I was disgusting for drinking tap water. I was so stunned with this candid comment that I forgot to thank her. Usually, it takes 6 to 12 months to identify the neuroses and/or addictions that most women have and here she didn't hide it at all!
He was indecisive about every aspect of his life, it was only a matter of time before he changed his mind about me.
Though it probably was sped up a bit by my distaste for his idea of a good time online with his buddies:
Posting as many half-naked photos of random women as possible, and this: Men who use half-naked women as their avatars online
Apart from hardly ever calling me or seeing me on a weekend, it became overwhelmingly clear that I was worth nothing more to him than a call-girl would be, when we were at a mutual friend's party. We were talking with a few other folks outside, who then went inside. People were smoking inside (which wasn't even allowed in that house, as per the landlord), and when I said I didn't want to go in yet because of my asthma, he left me standing alone outside because "he was cold."
I did. He was a a drama-queen, self-centered, not very bright and a complete embarassment. I saw the differences between us early on, but I didn't want to be too judgmental (and I love me some country boys). It became abundantly clear that I'd have to class and dumb down to be with him.
He became validated by his family as soon as I married him (he was one of seven boys). He didn't want me to go to school. He didn't like that I could type fast and use a computer. I was told I would never have a cellphone. I was one of the few wives who worked full-time. One day I had a complete flight of fancy and wondered aloud how it would be to have one kid and stay home. He told me if I did, I'd wear glasses and double-knit stretch pants and we would go back to an apartment forever. The computer became the final bargaining chip and I left the house.
He became validated by his family as soon as I married him (he was one of seven boys). He didn't want me to go to school. He didn't like that I could type fast and use a computer. I was told I would never have a cellphone. I was one of the few wives who worked full-time. One day I had a complete flight of fancy and wondered aloud how it would be to have one kid and stay home. He told me if I did, I'd wear glasses and double-knit stretch pants and we would go back to an apartment forever. The computer became the final bargaining chip and I left the house.
Wow, good thing he wasn't controlling or anything...
Wow, good thing he wasn't controlling or anything...
Oh, not at all.
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