EX-boyfriend won't go away.... (wife, married, men, call)

[buttergirl2865]

I dated my ex for 2 years and we broke up six years ago. At the time, of the breakup I asked him not to email and call me. HE was emotionall abusive. But, he continues to email me to this day! He is now MARRIED to someone else! He always wants to know how I am doing and where I am living... Why would he do this?

[gkleoni1]

If you respond to him you are playing his game. Do not respond, do not accept calls... Not even long enough to tell him not to call. You hear his voice you hang up. You get an email, you immediately delete. He will then go away...

[DreamworksSKG]

you could get a restraining order from the court

[buttergirl2865]

I just might do that. He is a teacher and I was considering contacting his principal. I just find it strange considering he is married and supposely has a new life of his own. I wonder what his wife would think of this? He even had his niece contact me on one occasion.

[linicx]

Change your cell phone number, your email address, and get a throw away email account with a unisex name like genealogynutz@gmail,hotmail,yahoo,msn or aol. IF he sets one foot on your property call the police. Six years of very subtle harassment is quite enough.

Forget the principal, talk to the judge.

[Den Mathias]

Originally Posted by buttergirl2865

I dated my ex for 2 years and we broke up six years ago. At the time, of the breakup I asked him not to email and call me. HE was emotionall abusive. But, he continues to email me to this day! He is now MARRIED to someone else! He always wants to know how I am doing and where I am living... Why would he do this?

First of all, change your Forum name to something less feminine. Go for something assertive.

Never, ever return the calls, emails, etc.

Get a restraining order.

Change your email.

Change your phone number.

And why the heck is this thread in Writing????????

[ron del]

Send the emails to the principal and his wife. If you want to warn him that you will do this with the next contact from him that you receive, that is an option. His next move is to have his friends contact you or for him to start contacting your friends, third parties.

[poconoproud]

you'll get more responses to this in the relationship forum...try that...

[sugarmaple]

1. Get a restraining order;
2. Get a restraining order;
3. Change your phone numbers;
4. Change your email address;
5. Do not respond to any correspondence;
6. Get a restraining order.

[mir86]

ignoring the guy doens't work..they always find a way for contact if they're desperate enough. I say just block him from emails if you're not strong enough to ignore him, change your number or block him there too. I'm in the same boat except my ex isn't married (he'll never get married..lol), he just moved 900 miles away now, always curious how I'm doing every 6 months or so. the only solution is to block him from any ways he can contact you if you're not strong enough to ignore him. Aside from that, I don't know.

As for why he contacts you? I think it depends on the type of person he is. Maybe he happens to be feeling low on those days and needs to feel validated that an ex still cares enough to respond to him. He could be bored, or need sympathy for how awful he may still feel for the emotional abuse he put you through. Emotionally abusive men use this to get you back into that cycle of abuse though, its like a sick addiction to them to make themselves feel better about themselves. these types of men aren't concerned about your happiness, only their own, so his curiosity about how you're doing is simply about him, not you. Since he's married, maybe she isn't as awesome as you are? who knows..but that's a weird one! but really, it could be a number of things. but I do know that if I were his wife, I'd feel very secondary to you so hey, it seems that he's the same emotionally abusive jerk that he was when you dumped him. some things never change.