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What would have been wrong with being upfront with future plans? What would have been wrong with letting her decide for herself what she wants? Is there any sort of time frame for plans to move?
So why she (the Irish lass) wouldn't join him in his homeland, then? If she loves him so much?
She would probably want to, he was the one who said it wouldn't work for her to do so. I'm guessing he's talking about Iraq or some other muslim country.
She would probably want to, he was the one who said it wouldn't work for her to do so. I'm guessing he's talking about Iraq or some other muslim country.
It seems she doesn't want to:
During that time I came to the conclusion that I someday want to return to the land of my birth within the next 10 years.
I was determined to inform Anne of my decision the day I was to see her.
The next morning I told her of my plans. She cried, was lost for words, and was saddened before finally asking me to leave.
I am not about to divulge the most personal parts of my life on a message board, so I you will just take my words at face value - I have experience with this subject. And yes, I can tell you without a single doubt that I would, and have, done whatever I have had to to be with my husband - though so far, wearing a burka has not been required
Thank you. Moving from a more desirable to a less desirable state hardly qualifies.
Thank you. Moving from a more desirable to a less desirable state hardly qualifies.
I wasn't talking about travel between states in this country
Though on that note, I AM having to leave my beloved NC to live in New York for a few years for his job shortly. This may not seem a hardship but the fact that my kids will be here and I'll be stuck up there in all that snow - well, let's just say I cried for a week. Still, there was never any question that I would go
Have you bothered to sit her down, tell her what you want, and ask her if she would be interested? Or...Are you automatically assuming that she does not want to go? Why not give her that choice? Let her make this final decision.
I thank you all for contributing your POV's. I'd like to make an attempt at responding to some of the questions several of you have raised.
Lovesmountains is absolutely right! I love my birthplace. I do not love Anne. I have a deep emotional connection with her. The connection is so deep that I care for Anne and have her best interest at heart. For this reason I had determined to tell her about my decision immediately. Had I not cared about her, I would have strung her along for as long as possible. I could've taken advantage of her emotions for as long as I pleased. Conversely, I chose what was best for her at the cost of our relationship.
Although we both have children of our own, Anne and I are slightly beyond child bearing years. Mine are adults. Her's are relatively young. Her children will inevitably force her to stay put for many years to come.
I am not from a Muslim nation or Somalia. However, where I'm from, a monolingual person - as in Anne's case - will be hard pressed to fit in. She would be the oddball out in most any gathering. That wouldn't be fair to her.
Finally, one of the opinions posted in this thread severely over-simplifies the concept of love. The opinion went something like this..."Oh, I will live with my man even if it's in a cave as long as he loves me." I sorely beg to differ. The issue of practicality has much a place in business and work as it does in relationships and love. It is too easy to say... "I will live in a cave, as long as there is love(?)" Really now? I haven't met a woman yet who has knowingly married a man whom would surely reduce her quality of life right from the start. That is impractical, unreasonable and destined for failure. That infamous Hollywood cliche which says..."and they lived happily ever after" is probably the biggest reason why so many marriages fail in the USA. IMHO, way too many people in the US enter marriage thinking that it is suppose to be a flawless institution marked by bliss, joy, and a daily dose of nuance. It's stunning to meet people (mostly women) who sincerely believe they are entitled to such unreasonable expectations.
Again, thanks for your input.
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