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Look when you are born who came attached to you? no one right so why you have to bargain or sell yourself just to satisfied another human being, for depriving you on one of the things that relationships are built on...
keep it real and move on, there are more fishes swimming out there and it might be close enough to you, but you aren't noticing that they are right in front of you...
Your s/o bans sex to try to communicate more. Would you be mad because you love sex or could you care less?
I'd be UPSET! My ex tried pulling that with me, before, saying that we had $ex too much. This was when we first moved in together. I was NOT a happy camper, either. When we first moved in together, we were goin' at it like rabbits every night, and then BAM, out of the blue one day, he wanted to stop our little routine.
Most men would be mad if a woman withheld sex but they don't understand is that to women not communicating is the same to us as not having sex is to them.
I think it's interesting that lack of communication isn't seen as manipulative but lack of sex is.
Location: Visitation between Wal-Mart & Home Depot
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rae13
Your s/o bans sex to try to communicate more. Would you be mad because you love sex or could you care less?
I'd be mad because my s/o was playing B.S. headgames picked up from a trashy editorial by some dipstick journalist at Cosmo who thinks that his/her degree makes him or her a stinkin' doctor or relationship guru.
The problem with male/female communication is that men get advice about women from other men and women get advice about men from other women, it isn't because they are having good sex.
Men don't withold communication. If you want communication and you think that sex is getting in the way, you should try not having sex until you've had enough communication. How is that any different than "banning sex to try to communicate more?" For one, you aren't overtly telling the man what you're doing. Overtly explaining to a man that you run things because you have the kitty is a bad idea. He's either going to call it quits because life is too short for this chickenchit drama, he's going to start cheating, or he's going to stick around and you've proven that you don't have a man that will stand up for himself. Big winner in any case, right? You can get a man to do anything by being subtle and somehow making his life easier and better. Guys don't love you for drama. Guys divorce you for drama. Guys who have "easy" (not that way, sicko) women are so happy that they don't even realize that they are working their asses off to keep the easy woman happy.
EDIT: Training men isn't that different from training dogs. Reinforce good behaviors (sex is a good reinforcer) and do not reward bad (no-sex is good negative reinforcement). The difference is that men have pride and don't like being told what to do. As long as you are merely subtly influencing his own perceived autonomous decisions, you'll get everything you want. Cajoling works. Forbidding does not.
Last edited by jimboburnsy; 07-15-2009 at 09:35 PM..
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