In love? It's not enough to keep a marriage, study finds (wife, women)

[JL]

SYDNEY (Reuters Life!) – Living happily ever after needn't only be for fairy tales. Australian researchers have identified what it takes to keep a couple together, and it's a lot more than just being in love.
A couple's age, previous relationships and even whether they smoke or not are factors that influence whether their marriage is going to last, according to a study by researchers from the Australian National University.
The study, entitled "What's Love Got to Do With It," tracked nearly 2,500 couples -- married or living together -- from 2001 to 2007 to identify factors associated with those who remained together compared with those who divorced or separated.
It found that a husband who is nine or more years older than his wife is twice as likely to get divorced, as are husbands who get married before they turn 25.
Children also influence the longevity of a marriage or relationship, with one-fifth of couples who have kids before marriage -- either from a previous relationship or in the same relationship -- having separated compared to just nine percent of couples without children born before marriage.
Women who want children much more than their partners are also more likely to get a divorce.
A couple's parents also have a role to play in their own relationship, with the study showing some 16 percent of men and women whose parents ever separated or divorced experienced marital separation themselves compared to 10 percent for those whose parents did not separate.
Also, partners who are on their second or third marriage are 90 percent more likely to separate than spouses who are both in their first marriage.
Not surprisingly, money also plays a role, with up to 16 percent of respondents who indicated they were poor or where the husband -- not the wife -- was unemployed saying they had separated, compared with only nine percent of couples with healthy finances.
And couples where one partner, and not the other, smokes are also more likely to have a relationship that ends in failure.
Factors found to not significantly affect separation risk included the number and age of children born to a married couple, the wife's employment status and the number of years the couple had been employed.
The study was jointly written by Dr Rebecca Kippen and Professor Bruce Chapman from The Australian National University, and Dr Peng Yu from the Department of Families, Housing, Community Services and Indigenous Affairs.

[WyoNewk]

Wow!
I'm wondering how my wife and I can still be married!

[BLAZER PROPHET]

Originally Posted by JamesLang

SYDNEY (Reuters Life!) – Living happily ever after needn't only be for fairy tales. Australian researchers have identified what it takes to keep a couple together, and it's a lot more than just being in love.
A couple's age, previous relationships and even whether they smoke or not are factors that influence whether their marriage is going to last, according to a study by researchers from the Australian National University.
The study, entitled "What's Love Got to Do With It," tracked nearly 2,500 couples -- married or living together -- from 2001 to 2007 to identify factors associated with those who remained together compared with those who divorced or separated.
It found that a husband who is nine or more years older than his wife is twice as likely to get divorced, as are husbands who get married before they turn 25.
Children also influence the longevity of a marriage or relationship, with one-fifth of couples who have kids before marriage -- either from a previous relationship or in the same relationship -- having separated compared to just nine percent of couples without children born before marriage.
Women who want children much more than their partners are also more likely to get a divorce.
A couple's parents also have a role to play in their own relationship, with the study showing some 16 percent of men and women whose parents ever separated or divorced experienced marital separation themselves compared to 10 percent for those whose parents did not separate.
Also, partners who are on their second or third marriage are 90 percent more likely to separate than spouses who are both in their first marriage.
Not surprisingly, money also plays a role, with up to 16 percent of respondents who indicated they were poor or where the husband -- not the wife -- was unemployed saying they had separated, compared with only nine percent of couples with healthy finances.
And couples where one partner, and not the other, smokes are also more likely to have a relationship that ends in failure.
Factors found to not significantly affect separation risk included the number and age of children born to a married couple, the wife's employment status and the number of years the couple had been employed.
The study was jointly written by Dr Rebecca Kippen and Professor Bruce Chapman from The Australian National University, and Dr Peng Yu from the Department of Families, Housing, Community Services and Indigenous Affairs.

Geeze, your Aussie tax dollars at work.

[NotARedneck]

A lot of good advice here but unfortunately, those with the highest risk of divorce, are also those who consider such things the least.

[John McClane]

Marriage is overrated, if you do not want to be alone for the rest of your life than get a dog. And when that dog dies because they don't live as long as humans than get another dog.

Dogs are loyal creatures.

Who can say no to this adorable little face.

[MMichelle]

With a 50% divorce rate, staying married IS beating the odds.

I think the article has some very valid points. Clearly staying together is more than love. We know that raising a child is work - lots of work. A relationship is work, too. The love songs all tell us that "all we need is love", "lover will keep us together" ... very romantic but not true. Life is hard, a relationship takes plenty of effort.

[LoveBoating]

With so many of the younger generation popping in and out of relationships today AND people who are married who want both the single and married (like to spend way too much time with "girls night out/boys night out") and young couples who are terrified of marriage and only want to live together (despite what anyone thinks of that). Yes, marriage does require more than just the word "love" and the above shows that! Heck, there are couples out there that even hate to hear the word "love" said!
Sure am glad that I'm very HAPPILY MARRIED and older (60 yrs)! Wife and I say "love you" all the time and we have so many of the same interests it's almost shocking! Example: Fishing/Boating= both of us, TV Sports= both of us, Target Shooting= both of us......and many other things!

Originally Posted by MMichelle

With a 50% divorce rate, staying married IS beating the odds.

I think the article has some very valid points. Clearly staying together is more than love. We know that raising a child is work - lots of work. A relationship is work, too. The love songs all tell us that "all we need is love", "lover will keep us together" ... very romantic but not true. Life is hard, a relationship takes plenty of effort.

[stan4]

Not sure I really buy a huge statistical difference between 16% and 9 or 10%...

[picklejuice]

Originally Posted by MMichelle

With a 50% divorce rate, staying married IS beating the odds.

I think the article has some very valid points. Clearly staying together is more than love. We know that raising a child is work - lots of work. A relationship is work, too. The love songs all tell us that "all we need is love", "lover will keep us together" ... very romantic but not true. Life is hard, a relationship takes plenty of effort.

Some will take more effort than others. It is best to know what you want and need ahead of time. Do not marry for the sake of having children or peer pressure, etc.

"True love" helps a whole lot. Tends to keep the little irritations at bay. Make sure your pick isn't a polar opposite. Find someone with common interests and energy. And yes, by all means be aware that any significant age difference could, and probably will, cause a lot of seen and unforeseen problems/difficulties.

Take the advice of your rational loved ones. They have your best interest in mind.

[ttz]

Originally Posted by JamesLang

And couples where one partner, and not the other, smokes are also more likely to have a relationship that ends in failure.

Wow how come I feel some Deja Vu with this one!?!!?!