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[quote=Thursday007;11417107]And that would be another assumption where you'd be wrong again.
And the rest of your posts are all over the map - you've researched it. Oh, please.
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Originally Posted by Lucario
Yawn.......bring emotion into this. I make my assertions and arguments emotionally, but I am not attempting to drag you personally into something. So I consider the source and the mental state of that source, and I move on.
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Originally Posted by Lucario
quote]
SO which is it pokemon? Is it all and only about the money as you first stated or emotional now? Which is it? Decisions based on emotions or factual research?
You know, I think this thread has been hijacked enough about your crusade and you should probably start one of your own. Better yet look up and dig up about 50 threads on this very tired, redundant subject.
You did not answer my question. Why should she get the kids in the first place? Don't courts take into account the fitness of the mother?
Sure Dad should support the kids. He'd been doing it all their lives. That is not the issue.
You're not so good at answering questions yourself.
An affair does not make a person an unfit parent unless they're turning tricks for money or something which puts the child at risk.
Courts tend to look at who is the primary care taker, that is who shuffles them to and from school, feeds them, takes them to the doctor, stays home with them and a whole host of other issues.
Also, it's not your divorce and you are only hearing one side of it. This, of course, as usual, leads one to believe they are experts and can generalize all divorces.
Dude there are already 100 threads on this tired subject you could pull up and mull over and post in, but you just hijack this thread for your undereducated rant.
Last edited by Thursday007; 10-31-2009 at 04:18 AM..
You didn't get my meaning.......It seemed as if you had responded to something I wrote, inferring anyway that I had aimed it at you. I hadn't. That's all.
Ok, thanks for clearing that up.
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Could be. I agree that anecdotes are not research as well.
Last night I spent some time looking for stats that show who files for custody most of the time. I didn't come up with anything really, outside other anecdotes on the net. And if this information is in the census, I couldn't find it there either.
Last night I spent some time looking for stats that show who files for custody most of the time. I didn't come up with anything really, outside other anecdotes on the net. And if this information is in the census, I couldn't find it there either.
Child Custody Policies and Divorce Rates in the US
State divorce rates and other vital statistics are maintained by the National Center for Health Statistics (NCHS), a division of the Centers for Disease Control, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. The divorce rate measure used is the number of divorces per thousand population. A 1995 NCHS report (Clarke, 1995) gives data on physical custody awards for 19 participating states for the years 1989 and 1990. This NCHS report is the first of its kind to report figures for physical custody of children. Values given are percentages of sole custody father, sole custody mother, and joint custody awards.
Thanks, Thursday007. I skimmed and am being lazy. Does it list who files and who is subsequently awarded? I have found plenty of data of children being awarded, just not who is filing for it. I'm hoping this report addresses this, and since you already read it...lol
Thanks, Thursday007. I skimmed and am being lazy. Does it list who files and who is subsequently awarded? I have found plenty of data of children being awarded, just not who is filing for it. I'm hoping this report addresses this, and since you already read it...lol
Here is another source that might pinpoint what you are looking for more quickly.
Q: What percentage of men who file for full custody of their children are denied?
I am curious about this, and I have been unable to find any statistics on my own. Does anybody have any reliable statistics that show what percentage of men who are not in a relationship with the mother of their child file for full custody, but are denied?
I want to know what percentage of fathers are DENIED full custody when they file for it, not how many mothers versus fathers have full custody. I do know that significantly less men file for full custody of their children, which is why there are more women with full custody of men.
ANSWER:
1- Most (85-90%) couples choose their own parenting (custody) plans.
2- The small minority who cannot devise their own plans (about 15%) go to Family Court (many of these couples have conflict & violence).
- Women typically get custody b/c they have been ***the primary care
givers***
- men - when they seek custody - are often awarded custody (70%) *This is 70% of the 15%
- Batterers get custody disturbingly often (see: Leadership Council on Child Abuse, Stop Family Violence). An estimated 58,000 kids go into unsupervised care each year. DV is given little if any weight in Family Court (despite myths to the contrary).
Source(s): Leadership Council on Child Abuse STop Family Violence Google "gender task forces"
I think the op is right. Some people aren't right for marriage and marriage isn't right for some people. It doesn't make it marriage's fault.
However, to other people's comments that there is something wrong with you or you are lacking in maturity because you don't fit into a marriage, that statement is just completely bogus.
Also, the comments in another post equating men who never married and/or giving it careful consideration with immaturity are also totally bogus.
Marriage today has three problems:
1) Too east to get into. Usually, those who are least prepared are the ones most likely to tie the knot. Getting married doesn't make up for a failure to plan ones life and in fact, the opposite is almost always the case. Those who work hard to better themselves through education and building a career have much higher success at marriage but unfortunately are far less likely to get married.
2) People select partners for superficial reasons. There is a lot of that on this website. A perfect example is when women look for men who are "confident". It’s as if a man's ability to signal that "you desire me more that I desire you and as such, I can get away with a lot and still maintain your interest" is an important determinant of future suitability. Men properly define this "confidence" as cockiness and its only value is to attract a variety of women for short term fun. Sorting out what women actually want and desire (usually of little value in maintaining a marriage) and important things women merely expect and complain when they don't get them is often the prime determinant of marital success.
3) Marriage is too easy to get out of and for women, (and the occasional man) can often be a financially lucrative move. The term "starter marriage" is a natural outcome of such thinking. Especially for women, there is no longer any downside to bad behavior while married or poor reasoning in entering into marriage. Usually, their biggest “mistake” is selecting someone who doesn't have sufficient assets to make divorce a "successful" outcome.
Both point 2 and 3 have been picked up on by more and more men. They are now more reluctant than ever to get married and more willing to take plenty of time to get to know women. Women need to be aware that those men who avoid this "due diligence", usually have much to hide and often little to offer.
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