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Unread 12-09-2009, 07:01 AM
 
Location: Tampa baby!!
3,258 posts, read 5,262,941 times
Reputation: 1697
Quote:
Originally Posted by th3vault View Post
Good point. I just wish the divorce courts would realize this instead of still acting under the old assumptions that women don't work and that the man has to support her (ala alimony)..... 50% of his assets+ 100% of whatever she earns= 75% of total marriage assets.

Shocking that is equivalent to the percentage of divorces filed by women.
I do feel the need to correct your wording here. I believe that should read 50% of their assets. In today's world where women do contribute to the household, anything she owns would also be split with her husband.
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Unread 12-09-2009, 07:07 AM
 
Location: SRQ
4,072 posts, read 7,390,710 times
Reputation: 1410
Quote:
Originally Posted by floridadreamer View Post
I do feel the need to correct your wording here. I believe that should read 50% of their assets. In today's world where women do contribute to the household, anything she owns would also be split with her husband.
Hence the prenup for those who have more than they care to split up 50%. Also, add in extramarital affairs & children born from those affairs & how that will bring down each persons share, should they decide to stray from the marriage.
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Unread 12-09-2009, 07:16 AM
 
Location: Cumberland Co., TN
10,276 posts, read 9,632,678 times
Reputation: 9989
Quote:
Women have the reputation of being hard to figure, and mysterious.---It's just because they themselves don't have a clue what they will do next. Call it what you will.
Well arent you contradicting yourself? You said your ex planned out the divorce without you having a clue. Apparently she knew exactly what her next move was.
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Unread 12-09-2009, 07:23 AM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
19,752 posts, read 15,754,146 times
Reputation: 27096
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
Are you for real? I know quite a number of adults who still remember waiting for a daddy who was supposed to take them for visitation and never showed up.

My ex wasn't a "never" with our daughter, but she got a lot of last-minute phone calls changing plans when he found something better to do.

What goes around comes around. By the time she was a teenager, she was the one changing or cancelling the plans with him. She learned from the master.

Cat's in the Cradle.
Yeah, my cousin wanted to bury the hatchet with her dad and asked him to walk her down the aisle at her wedding. He called the morning before ... sorry, honey, something came up. Can't make it. Promised to come to the reception, but of course he never showed up. Fortunately, she had gotten over the disappointment dished out by her dad her whole life and wasn't very upset.

Her younger sister, on the other hand, had major daddy issues for years.
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Unread 12-09-2009, 07:27 AM
 
Location: Cumberland Co., TN
10,276 posts, read 9,632,678 times
Reputation: 9989
Quote:
Not only do women not have to stay in bad marriages, they get paid handsomely if they don't. Hell, they get paid great even if it was all their fault they got divorced, so of course women are not going to fear jumping ship at the first signs of trouble. For many they have no reason not to if there's a huge financial windfall coming their way.
Quote:
Good point. I just wish the divorce courts would realize this instead of still acting under the old assumptions that women don't work and that the man has to support her (ala alimony)..... 50% of his assets+ 100% of whatever she earns= 75% of total marriage assets.
Lets go over this again. First what Floridadreamer said.

Alimony is paid to equal out income discrepancy be it for a man or woman. A couple usually must be married 10 yrs. and one spouse have less earning potential or no income. Marital assets are normally split 50/50. WARNING: any assests aquired after the I dos by either are joint assests. Most divorces these days are NO FAULT.

There are exceptions which generally are afforded to the very wealthy and celebs. There are exceptions when one is not proactive in their divorce, does not read their MDA or hires a crappy attorney. These basics may vary somewhat from state to state.
So I reject your theory that women always get paid handsomely or even receive 75% of marital assests.
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Unread 12-09-2009, 07:46 AM
 
3,220 posts, read 3,655,933 times
Reputation: 1811
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares View Post
Lets go over this again. First what Floridadreamer said.

Alimony is paid to equal out income discrepancy be it for a man or woman. A couple usually must be married 10 yrs. and one spouse have less earning potential or no income. Marital assets are normally split 50/50. WARNING: any assests aquired after the I dos by either are joint assests. Most divorces these days are NO FAULT.

There are exceptions which generally are afforded to the very wealthy and celebs. There are exceptions when one is not proactive in their divorce, does not read their MDA or hires a crappy attorney. These basics may vary somewhat from state to state.
So I reject your theory that women always get paid handsomely or even receive 75% of marital assests.
Tell that to my friend's friend who got even worse even after hiring a top notch attorney than what you're "dismissing".

NO FAULT is a farce IMO and it in most cases more like NO FAULT of the females it seems.

This DOES happen and it's NOT right!
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Unread 12-09-2009, 08:06 AM
 
Location: Corydon, IN
2,985 posts, read 2,017,026 times
Reputation: 5599
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares View Post
I agree with Orangeapple. I think the women just finally have to take the initive to get things in order. I filed first time after infidelity, drug problems and being seperated for 9 months. I think he could have continue just being seperated forever because he had no responsibility.

Second marriage, he filed after being unofficially seperated for 8 months. I think he realized I wasnt going to and someone told him he should. Everything was worked out in mediation 4 months after filing, its now going on 16 months and Ive had to take him to court twice to no avail and have been pushing my attorney to get him and his attorney to finalize the divorce.

and this, by orangeapples:

Quote:
Filing for divorce does not equal
- being the main "cause" for the divorce
- desiring the end of the relationship more
- initiating the talk and plans of divorce
- being the one to actually leave the home/relationship

In almost all the cases I've personally seen, the woman filed after her husband committed infidelity and moved out (often with his new partner). I don't know why the man did not file first. Probably because he will be held financially responsible (alimony and/or child support). It seems like these men wanted their cake & to eat it too....

Didn't read through the whole thread, it's already several pages long; but I think this is a load of tripe.

Forty years ago there was just as much cheating going on and the figures on who filed for divorce were quite different.

You wanna know what the difference is now?

- More women are working and have successful careers. This has the following effects:
- they are more financially secure and therefore feel more secure about leaving

- if their salary surpasses that of their spouse they feel entitled to more and are much more likely to begin looking around for a "suitable" mate
- Social views changed drastically during those forty years, peaking during the 90's. This is now swinging the other way but is still FAR from equal. This allowed more leeway, such as:
- Women now knew they were on more sure footing in court when it came to things like custody of children and matters of alimony

- It became not only a lot more acceptable for women to leave but is strongly encouraged if she feels dissatisfaction

- As divorce becomes more acceptable across the board for men and women alike, women feel less pressure to attempt to work things out. It is VERY noteworthy that the most common reason listed on female-initiated divorce petitions is "feeling unappreciated or unloved".

I'm not about to argue against the notion that many men cheat; they absolutely do. So do women and as further studies are done it's looking like women cheat at least as often as men, something NO ONE wants to admit.

But this thing about "She's left with no choice, she has to get things in order" just doesn't cut it when it comes to explaining anything even remotely resembling a 70/30 disparity in divorce petitions, not by a long shot.

Are you trying to say that when women filed for only 28 percent of divorces it was because they were left with no choice, had to find a way out of a bad situation, and all these years later when women file for 70 percent of divorces -- it's the exact, same thing? Everything else changed for marriage and society, but NOT this?!?



I wonder if anyone else correlates this to the number of single men between ages 18 and 55 who have never wed, as opposed to those same stats the same forty years ago?
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Unread 12-09-2009, 08:50 AM
 
Location: Cumberland Co., TN
10,276 posts, read 9,632,678 times
Reputation: 9989
Quote:
Originally Posted by njguy View Post
Tell that to my friend's friend who got even worse even after hiring a top notch attorney than what you're "dismissing".

NO FAULT is a farce IMO and it in most cases more like NO FAULT of the females it seems.

This DOES happen and it's NOT right!
Do you know what fault and no fault divorces are? Apparently your friends friends attorney wasnt all that.

I never said divorces were fair. Most issues are settled in mediation and dont actually go before a judge so most of what get or lose you have agreed to. If you absolutly cant come to an agreement, then a judge makes the call based on particular guidelines of that state. We all know judges are not always right, fair or logical.
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Unread 12-09-2009, 08:52 AM
 
1,321 posts, read 1,028,350 times
Reputation: 937
Quote:
Originally Posted by th3vault View Post
Good point. I just wish the divorce courts would realize this instead of still acting under the old assumptions that women don't work and that the man has to support her (ala alimony)..... 50% of his assets+ 100% of whatever she earns= 75% of total marriage assets.

Shocking that is equivalent to the percentage of divorces filed by women.
Your numbers are a bit off as was pointed out above. But the reason the courts award things like they do is because the courts swallowed the feminist produced studies on the subject that said men's standard of living went up ~70% and women's went down ~40%. In truth the non-partisan studies from the last several years are all saying quite a different story...that both decrease about the same. Until the word gets out that, you know, feminist studies are biased, then things will continue the way they are.
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Unread 12-09-2009, 09:10 AM
 
3,220 posts, read 3,655,933 times
Reputation: 1811
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares View Post
Do you know what fault and no fault divorces are? Apparently your friends friends attorney wasnt all that.

I never said divorces were fair. Most issues are settled in mediation and dont actually go before a judge so most of what get or lose you have agreed to. If you absolutly cant come to an agreement, then a judge makes the call based on particular guidelines of that state. We all know judges are not always right, fair or logical.
Don't be so sure of that.

When one side wants it all because her attorney says she could get it, no matter how great his attorney is = he loses because of how it's rigged here in NJ (and I imagine in other states as well) even though the law(s) say otherwise. Mediation or not he loses especially in the Occupied Kangaroo Divorce Courts of Corrupt New Jersey.

This is why my choice of never marrying, co-habiting with a female and or producing offspring.

I'm only discussing so this is NOT personal towards anyone here.
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