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Old 12-14-2009, 06:21 PM
 
Location: Western Washington
7,990 posts, read 5,451,705 times
Reputation: 19165

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dorrans View Post
There was plenty of times were I wasn't up for it. I was tired, exhausted, going to University full time and working in the evening. And at times when she WANTED sex and I couldn't do it, she threw a hissy fit. I would normally go out of the way for her, but when I realised that she would never do it for me and only wanted sex on her terms, I was within my rights to be more selfish and save my energy.

Many women are hypercritical regarding this. They want sex when they are horny, but if they aren't in the mood then they reject their man at any time. And they don't realise how much rejection hurts.
Honestly, I think that's sad....and that's how it feels when man throws one when SHE isn't in the mood. Both people in a relationship should be considerate. Again, without that consideration....you have an extremely dysfunctional relationship...IMHO
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Old 12-14-2009, 06:23 PM
 
19,081 posts, read 12,581,190 times
Reputation: 13237
Quote:
Originally Posted by beachmel View Post
you have an extremely dysfunctional relationship...IMHO
That pretty much sums it up.
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Old 12-14-2009, 06:30 PM
 
Location: Miami
888 posts, read 103,281 times
Reputation: 658
Wow... I cannot believe how many people on this thread have lousy sex lives...
Let me tell you people, once you get your sex life perfect, you'll still have problems - just one of them won't be sex.

Now I am sure that I am a minority.
Umm, the day I left my ex-wife I joined the gym. That was July 1995. I've been going 3 times/week ever since. Yes, I have a great body.
My girlfriend today gets very turned on that I take care of my body, and that I care about the way I dress.
Yes, we have a great sex life.
My motto is to give her the best sex possible, and she'll keep coming back for more.
We keep trying to seduce each other. That's our little game we play.
It works out great.
You know what? Sometimes I'm not in the mood, but I still give it to her the way she wants it, because I know she appreciates it and she'll give it to me when she's not in the mood.
We already made the promise.

Having said that, it dosn't mean that our relationship is perfect.
We still have other issues that come up and cause disagreement.
I do agree that a great sex life is paramount, but it's not the golden key.

So ... your sex life is causing you to divorce?
It's not that difficult people.
Like they say "suck it up" and "try harder".
But you need to know when to give up if one partner remains unsatisfied.
Then get a divorce.

Anyways, all of the sex issues need to be worked out before moving in together...
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Old 12-14-2009, 06:32 PM
 
13,779 posts, read 17,033,491 times
Reputation: 7254
Quote:
Originally Posted by HappyDaysCopenhagenSkoal View Post
Wow... I cannot believe how many people on this thread have lousy sex lives...
Let me tell you people, once you get your sex life perfect, you'll still have problems - just one of them won't be sex.

Now I am sure that I am a minority.
Umm, the day I left my ex-wife I joined the gym. That was July 1995. I've been going 3 times/week ever since. Yes, I have a great body.
My girlfriend today gets very turned on that I take care of my body, and that I care about the way I dress.
Yes, we have a great sex life.
My motto is to give her the best sex possible, and she'll keep coming back for more.
We keep trying to seduce each other. That's our little game we play.
It works out great.
You know what? Sometimes I'm not in the mood, but I still give it to her the way she wants it, because I know she appreciates it and she'll give it to me when she's not in the mood.
We already made the promise.

Having said that, it dosn't mean that our relationship is perfect.
We still have other issues that come up and cause disagreement.
I do agree that a great sex life is paramount, but it's not the golden key.

So ... your sex life is causing you to divorce?
It's not that difficult people.
Like they say "suck it up" and "try harder".
But you need to know when to give up if one partner remains unsatisfied.
Then get a divorce.

Anyways, all of the sex issues need to be worked out before moving in together...
So do you think if you had gone to the gym while you were with your wife would the outcome be different?
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Old 12-14-2009, 07:17 PM
 
Location: Kuwait City, Kuwait.
1,125 posts, read 1,245,379 times
Reputation: 1014
Quote:
Originally Posted by solytaire View Post
Unfortunately you were likely the victim of our society's use of what should be a male's ego, as a weapon against you.

You as a male, are supposed to want sex at all times, and your ego should in always be tied to your eternal pursuit of sex. This is your social role. If you in anyway go against this social doctrine, then what is supposed to be your male ego, must be used against you to convince you that you have not fulfilled your duty in this society.

It is a dual edged sword, and a trap that many men fall into. Most men have been taught that their egos live by their sexual prowess and die by it. That ego often nets them many partners, but as you stated in your story, at whatever time you are able to disconnect your own self worth from that sexual prowess you will likely be chastised by both men and women in society...and certainly so by your significant other.
Spot on. And it's annoying.
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Old 12-14-2009, 07:18 PM
 
Location: Kuwait City, Kuwait.
1,125 posts, read 1,245,379 times
Reputation: 1014
Quote:
Originally Posted by beachmel View Post
Honestly, I think that's sad....and that's how it feels when man throws one when SHE isn't in the mood. Both people in a relationship should be considerate. Again, without that consideration....you have an extremely dysfunctional relationship...IMHO
I agree. I felt mistreated and taken for granted, so I called it a day. Good riddance without a doubt. She can be another man's problems for all I care.
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Old 12-14-2009, 08:13 PM
 
Location: Western Washington
7,990 posts, read 5,451,705 times
Reputation: 19165
Quote:
Originally Posted by mrstewart View Post
so do you think if you had gone to the gym while you were with your wife would the outcome be different?
rotflol!!! :d
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Old 12-14-2009, 08:20 PM
 
Location: DFW - Coppell / Las Colinas
18,750 posts, read 17,508,538 times
Reputation: 17901
Quote:
Originally Posted by beachmel View Post
Honestly, I think that's sad....and that's how it feels when man throws one when SHE isn't in the mood. Both people in a relationship should be considerate. Again, without that consideration....you have an extremely dysfunctional relationship...IMHO
You know most guys learn throwing a hissy fit is not that effective for getting sex and only leaves a woman mad.

Most of us long term married guys find begging and whining much more effective. If all else fails we usually bribe them with a new pair of shoes from Nordstrom's which always seems to work.

I had to convert half of our spare bedroom for my wifes shoe closet. That is true consideration.
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Old 12-14-2009, 11:54 PM
 
Location: Western Washington
7,990 posts, read 5,451,705 times
Reputation: 19165
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rakin View Post
You know most guys learn throwing a hissy fit is not that effective for getting sex and only leaves a woman mad.

Most of us long term married guys find begging and whining much more effective. If all else fails we usually bribe them with a new pair of shoes from Nordstrom's which always seems to work.

I had to convert half of our spare bedroom for my wifes shoe closet. That is true consideration.
It's really sad, you know....quite often when a couple start out dating, they do so much to attract each other, woo each other over, seduce each other. If more couples expended even 1/2 of the effort to pamper and woo each other, as they did when they were trying to attract each other, there wouldn't be nearly as many unhappy couples.

Doing for your mate, just because...just because they are so special to you and want them to never, ever forget just how precious they are, love would only get better. We all need to do special things for our loved ones....that's where long-term memories and yes, gratefullness come into play. Obviously, that doesn't work for everyone....some people, are simply by nature, takers....not givers. I'm just saying that it doesn't hurt to try.... A card that gives you a lump in your throat, telling how very special they are to you.....a single rose. Heck, in my case.....LOL, it was my new air compressor for Mother's day....just because he knew I really, really wanted a new one for my nail gun!

If we really pay attention to our mates...they tell us what we want...It may be as simple as vacuuming the floor without having to be asked...washing the dishes and cleaning the kitchen, if that's normally something she's stuck doing. Wives...baking his favorite cookies, his favorite meals, running him a bath and laying out his lounge pants and t-shirt, etc. Pamper each other....Never forget to say, "I love you" when you leave, when they leave, when you hang up the phone....sometimes, it's just the littlest things.....

Last edited by beachmel; 12-15-2009 at 01:23 AM..
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Old 12-15-2009, 12:40 AM
 
Location: Flower Mound, Texas
1,837 posts, read 2,631,608 times
Reputation: 553
Oh my, that comment you quoted was good...very good. Where is he anyway? Hmmm??? Mr. Copenhagen come out please????

Quote:
Originally Posted by beachmel View Post
rotflol!!! :d
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