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Did someone say CREDIT CHECK! I am sorry but I am a believer that people should be on equal ground if they have decided to date eachother.......it cuts down on a lot of problems down the road.
Money problems have broken up many relationships. Therefore I own a home.........he must own a home or at least have the good credit to purchase one should we decide down the road to get married. The other thing is that if he is living from paycheck to paycheck.......I would be thinking to myself hmmm maybe this man does not know how to manage his money or what is the reason that he is living from pay check to pay check........then if that is the case I would not want to be bothered. Life is complicated enough nobody needs to have an extra project to handle........usually someone like this is looking for a SUGAR MOMMY!
Well, I think it depends on your age when you meet, etc. Of course I don't think you should hook up with someone with big debt problems. SO and I met in our 20's, and we weren't making huge $$$. Things are better now, though.
Would a man like this eventually hold you back? If he is living paycheck to paycheck at his age (not paying child support) - you really won't have nice vacations together eventually or to go to nice places (he's basically maxxed on his money making potential), so maybe YOU would most likely have to pay for a vacation or getaway if you wanted one together since all his extra funds go into inexpensive dates to take you out and his bills. . . and if you want kids one day, you survive if you have to leave your job for a while and live on his very limited income - IF things worked out.
So while "Respect - Honesty - and Confidence" are becoming traits in a man. . . at what point to financial situations come into play and start affecting how you see this man before you start feeling like you will have to carry him so you do not feel like you are missing out on things you like to do and enjoy?\
Myself - I am stable and have to date a financial equal or someone that exceeds mine.
That's exactly the reality. Haven't been in such a situation and have no desire to be in it, either.
Would a man like this eventually hold you back? If he is living paycheck to paycheck at his age (not paying child support) - you really won't have nice vacations together eventually or to go to nice places (he's basically maxxed on his money making potential), so maybe YOU would most likely have to pay for a vacation or getaway if you wanted one together since all his extra funds go into inexpensive dates to take you out and his bills. . . and if you want kids one day, you survive if you have to leave your job for a while and live on his very limited income - IF things worked out. I believe she said what he pays on his trailer rental land (is that right, I have no idea, I don't live in one) - is $400 or 500/mo - and he is still struggling/broke.
So while "Respect - Honesty - and Confidence" are becoming traits in a man. . . at what point to financial situations come into play and start affecting how you see this man before you start feeling like you will have to carry him so you do not feel like you are missing out on things you like to do and enjoy?\
Myself - I am stable and have to date a financial equal or someone that exceeds mine.
Exactly, he will hold the woman back.......everytime it is time to go on vacation or spend money there will always be a problem. Either the woman will end up going alone because he can't afford to go or she will have no choice but to pay his way if she wants him to go! Friend should move on and not even entertain the idea of dating this man. Sounds like he is already too much of a project and nobody needs any dead weight to carry!
Exactly, he will hold the woman back.......everytime it is time to go on vacation or spend money there will always be a problem. Either the woman will end up going alone because he can't afford to go or she will have no choice but to pay his way if she wants him to go! Friend should move on and not even entertain the idea of dating this man. Sounds like he is already too much of a project and nobody needs any dead weight to carry!
That's exactly what I told her - and she felt that I was being too shallow and I was not seeing the "big picture." Oh. . but I am seeing the big picture. . .
Well, I think it depends on your age when you meet, etc. Of course I don't think you should hook up with someone with big debt problems. SO and I met in our 20's, and we weren't making huge $$$. Things are better now, though.
A man that is living on his own and having difficulty paying $400/$500 dollars a month for a trailer is not exactly someone I would consider to be ambitious or good at managing his money. Therefore no matter what the age....if she decides to get involved with him there will always be controversy over money. The good thing is that he was honest and told her upfront........at least now if she decides to ignore the warning and things don't work out she can't say that he did not tell her!
That's exactly what I told her - and she felt that I was being too shallow and I was not seeing the "big picture." Oh. . but I am seeing the big picture. . .
Love, honesty, confidence is great......but we can not live in this world off of these things! It takes money to live in this world and if two people do not share the same idea about finances, money, paying bills or their goals and ambitions in life then the relationship is doomed to fail. Well all you can do is give her your advice........if she does not listen........then she will be crying on your shoulder in the end!
Hypothetical situation/question. Does not relate to me in any way. Just curious on your thoughts because a friend of mine encountered a situation similar to this recently.
A man the age of 39 years old is interested in you. You work hard and are financially stable and have a nice place. The man works but is not as financially stable - lives in a trailer home - lives paycheck to paycheck. But he seems sweet. He would like to go out with you and asks you out on a Tuesday for a Saturday night and adds, "because that's after he gets paid and will have the money to take you out after it clears the bank after a deposit on Friday." The man refuses to allow you to pay for anything - he is not the go dutch type.
- Your thoughts on a man that says to to you?
- Are you turned off by him after he says this to you?
- Any other thoughts welcomed.
Sure guys, chime in. I know you wanna!
I do not judge people by their financial status. If he is an intelligent man with manners and class - capable of intelligent conversation, with a good sense of humor then I would certainly consider going out with him (provided of course that he was not an Aquarius).
Besides, I live in a mobile home myself, maybe we could exchange decorating tips.
The guy I saw on Sunday is a business owner, stable. . and in his mid-40's. And the next guy I have lined up for myself is 48 and stable. . .so, stay tuned for that failure soon.
This link of this thread is actually being sent to my pal to show her what other female responses are to her similar situation. . . to show I am not being shallow and that there are more issues involved that she is just not seeing clearly.
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