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Hi there! It was couples counselling with my ex. She thought it was strange that I laughed at a point in the movie we watched was quite violent (and not even believable in my opinion, but apparently upset her) She is not sure if anything is wrong, but seems to be looking???
My husband who wasn't at all a violent person used to do the same thing. He could watch someone being horribly killed in a very realistic and violent manner and he would laugh, yet if it was a pretend villian like a vampire trying to bite the princess or if a ghost jumped out of a closet he couldn't stand it and made us leave the theatre and go home. I figured he was probably traumatized at some point in his life by something violent and it made him laugh sort of how some people laugh at funerals because they don't know where to direct their feelings..
The biggest disappointment that women have with men is that some women tend to decide who he is in their own mind and when he doesn't live up to that, it is his fault. You are not a fantasy, or a character in a cartoon, just a person. If she cannot deal with that, you are both wasting your time. Hopefully you can sit down and talk about that.
Come on guys. The girl made ONE comment, after he laughed in an odd place in the movie. ONE comment. One silly remark. For that he should ditch her?
Wow. No wonder so many of us are single. Damn.
It was just one remark, which was immediately followed by a suggestion that he go back into counseling for it. IMO suggesting counseling, plus also that she ties it in with his past couple counseling with his ex-girlfriend shows a certain amount of pessimism about him and suggests that she thinks that her standards are the only acceptable standards in their relationship. So two little red flags there for me, her thinking that she's completely in the right and secondly, the reference to his past relationship.
We weren't there to hear how she actually said those comments, but the O.P. got a bad enough negative vibe that he wanted to ask our opinion of the situation on a message board. We encourage women all the time to listen to their gut feelings, so why shouldn't the O.P. follow his male gut feelings about this?
Otherwise, both would be better off dating someone that has their same sense of humour and horror.
Because men are rarely in touch with their gut feelings. Most of the time, it's just a fear of accountability.
Well whatever... there just doesn't seem to be enough compatibility between the O.P. and his girlfriend.
And I know that I would be pissed if a current boyfriend was telling me that I my sense of humour was broken and that I needed counseling. I'd be further upset that I was open enough to tell him that I went into couples counseling in a past relationship and he was using this information to say that I needed more of it.
Meantime this girlfriend of his has old issues with her dad of stuff he did that creeped her out, and she doesn't feel the need to sort that out with counseling.
One of the things that bothered me about my first boyfriend was that he was an avid Three Stooges fan. I never ever criticized his love for them, and it wasn't a deal breaker. However, in my next relationships, I made sure that my dates had more of a similiar sense of humour to mine. The same would go for horror movies. I'd really prefer not to be with a man that enjoyed horror or slasher flicks. A s/o is someone that we ideally spend a lot of time with. It should be quality time, and we should both be enjoying the activities we do together.
One of the college kids I work with told me about how one day, he and his girlfriend made plans to see an outdoor double film event. The first film was a chick flick, the second more of a guy action movie. He thought that it was a fair compromise. However, after they watched the first film, his girlfriend insisted on leaving. Not wanting to have a fight (as it wasn't worth it) he agreed to leave with her. I thought her actions highly unfair to him.
Fortunately, my boyfriend and I have similiar tastes in movies. But if there is the odd movie that one of us is not interested in seeing, there is the option of staying home with the other person going to see it with other friends. No biggie. But I like that he dislikes the Three Stooges, low brow humour and horror/slasher movies.
...in my next relationships, I made sure that my dates had more of a similiar sense of humour to mine. The same would go for horror movies. I'd really prefer not to be with a man that enjoyed horror or slasher flicks. A s/o is someone that we ideally spend a lot of time with. It should be quality time, and we should both be enjoying the activities we do together.
Yep yep.
Quote:
Originally Posted by miu
Fortunately, my boyfriend and I have similiar tastes in movies. But if there is the odd movie that one of us is not interested in seeing, there is the option of staying home with the other person going to see it with other friends. No biggie. But I like that he dislikes the Three Stooges, low brow humour and horror/slasher movies.
You're correct and my mistake for even saying what I said in my response to you, I'm so sorry.
What, you don't wannabe Mearth's friend?
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Well not "all" Men my friend.
