Not putting spouse's name on new house (dating, wives, boyfriend)

[Ivorytickler]

Originally Posted by cpg35223

Well, let's just assume that your marriage doesn't last it. It doesn't matter in whose name the house is. A good lawyer will declare it part of your marital assets, and you'll have to sell it, unless you give him some other assets in return.

That being said, as soon as a marriage dissolves into "Mine" and "Yours" rather than "Ours," it's already in trouble.

You are correct. Because the house is being purchased during the marriage, it becomes joint property. The only way to keep assets you came into a marriage separate is to have them in a separate account and never move them. The interest on that money, however, is a marital asset. Dh has an inheritance that is separate from marital assets. If he were to, say, buy a house, with that money, it would become ours. As long as it's in the investment account it's his.

Some things need to remain separate. Dh's inheritance is separate becuase it's family money that was intended to pass to the kids if he dies not to a spouse. My FIL earned this money. It belongs in his family. I count myself lucky that I got use of the interest off of it for several years.

If dh dies and I remarried, I'd want to keep my estate separate for my children. What you build together, as a married couple, is and should be joint but no one is entitled to what the other brought into the marriage.

[suedonym]

ok...

if something were to happen to my hubby (or to me, weve discussed this before) and I was to remarry- I would require a prenup.

nothing against the guy- but our assets (that weve worked very hard for) our OURS (or mine, i guess at that point) and for our kids. I would have all of my assets (investments, properties, belongings, anything of value) protected by that prenup.

anything new hubby and i obtained together could be an even split in the case of a divorce or whatever, but whats mine is MINE (and my kids)....

and any guy who didnt understand that it was done for my protection and for the financial protection of my kids (even if grown at that point) could hit the highway...

and if the roles were reversed, and he had more to protect than I, I would not have any issues with signing a prenup either...

[miyu]

The ancient history of the prenuptual agreement was really to ensure that the bride had some financial security in case the husband died. But it has been perverted over the years by a male dominated society into an agreement that protected the breadwinner's assets (traditionally, the male's) in case of divorce. For some reason, people accepted this for the most part as a necessary evil.

But now that females are becoming successful and equal enough in society to be able to make some use of it for their own protection, it is disturbing to see that people immediately judge the woman on her desire to make use of this financial bargaining tool. Even more disturbing when in general, the male dominated tradition that has perverted this idea of a prenuptual agreement comes out full force against women wielding the same tool.

Obviously some people are more idealistic and are against the idea of a prenup altogether. But I just have to say, I still sense a vein of misogyny running through this whole issue. Not necessarily from anyone here in particular...

Also, some people have complicated situations. Such as one set of parents willing to help out significantly with a house downpayment, and the other set of parents unwilling. I think it is unfair when other people's money is involved to put the non-contributor's name on it. At this point it goes beyond the marriage.

[CarolVa1977]

I would not put any of your money in a joint account and the house in your name only, however he does have right if the property was bought after the marriage

[Nutz76]

Originally Posted by Ivorytickler

You are correct. Because the house is being purchased during the marriage, it becomes joint property. The only way to keep assets you came into a marriage separate is to have them in a separate account and never move them.

That's not always true as not all states are 50/50 community property. Maryland is one such state. Home, money, 401K, etc all get divided up by the judge basically and can give one person more than the other if they payed a more significant part of how much whatever the widget cost to procure. What happens on the backend though is that the person coming out on top may end up owing spousal support to the one who's leaving with little or no assets.

Bottom line, talk to a lawyer as this is something that can vary drastically from state to state.

[CarolVa1977]

get a post nuptial agreement.

[*Sixy*]

Originally Posted by cpg35223

Yeah. But what if, three years from now, the house needs a new roof? Or they decide to renovate the kitchen? Or put a pool in the backyard? What if his paycheck is going to defray these improvements? What if she loses her job and he keeps paying the household expenses such as the property taxes? Suddenly, it's not just her house anymore, because he has contributed significantly to its value and helping to maintain her legal possession of the house. Then what happens? It's just not as simple as you imagine it to be.

Great points!

If I were him I'd let HER pay all the bills, utilities, repairs, taxes...etc. It is HER house afterall. Why should he contribue to these things if it's not his house.

OP, is he going to pay rent to you or would you expect he contribue to the expenses above?

I don't really undertand the logic here UNLESS he runs his own business and you don't want any fall-out to effect your residence.

If I were him I'd tell you to buy your house and put it in your name only, and then I'd go find a place to rent that I could call my own.

[NY Annie]

No way would I put his name on the deed. Whew, forget the divorce scenario (a prenup will cover that) but since he has no money, no assets, and no job, but I'm sure he has DEBT; why would you subject your home to possible collection issues. Nope, your house that will be "ours" while you both are together.

We just bought a house for our retirement. Because of some issues, even though half the money used for the purchase and 1/2 the money for expenses/mortgage coming from me, the house is in my husband's name, alone. It is how I wanted it. It is in the will that it's mine, there is a statement now showing that 1/2 of everything was/is contributed to by me - with attached documentation. If he predeceases me (unlikely for health issues), the taxes on transfer will be on only 1/2.

I think, in your shoes, I'd see an attorney for some advice.

[lakeman0]

my idea of marriage is that everything is shared...if you aren't ready for that don't get married.

[blondiel]

He stated that he wanted his name on the deed. If he has only 5% and is willing to contribute that, let him. You are beginning a marriage with the high probability of resentment which will come out in some form. Is that what you really want? You stated that he has little savings, no job yet and obviously little or no assets. Why would you want to put yorself in that position if you don't trust him? It may appear that you have the upper hand, but in reality, depending on the laws of your state, you may be setting yourself up for allowing him to easily take half of your assets, plus possible alimony if he is that type of man. Move cautiously. If he wants his name on the house, start the marriage right and do so unless there are legitimate reasons for leaving the house in your name only. I can't believe that he married you knowing that that was the way you felt about yours and mine.