Not putting spouse's name on new house (wife, marriage, love) - Dating, marriage, boyfriends, girlfriends, men, women, friends, attraction ... - City-Data Forum

janetreb · 07-21-2009, 02:52 PM

I recently married my husband and buying a new house with cash (no comments necessary on this). I can afford the house myself and wanted to buy the house under my name only since it's being paid for by all my savings earned before marriage. As the guy, would you be OK with that? My husband wants his name on it because he can/will contribute whatever little savings he has towards the house but I don't need him to. His savings would only be only 5% of the total sales price. I know if anything should ever happen between us, state law will split up the property evenly anyway so wanting my name only on the title is not necessarily for "protection". I just think it's fair. He won't have a job when we move so he won't be able to contribute monetarily for a while either. I know if I were in his shoes, I would not blame my husband for not putting my name on the house. I already know what we'll do, which is to include him on the house because I should think of everything as "ours" now, but I wanted to hear other people's thoughts.

steelstress · 07-21-2009, 03:01 PM

Well, I think it's easy to see that neither one of you are all that concerned about contributing to the security of the other.

Really, why get married?

cpg35223 · 07-21-2009, 03:33 PM

Well, let's just assume that your marriage doesn't last it. It doesn't matter in whose name the house is. A good lawyer will declare it part of your marital assets, and you'll have to sell it, unless you give him some other assets in return.

That being said, as soon as a marriage dissolves into "Mine" and "Yours" rather than "Ours," it's already in trouble.

ChessieMom · 07-21-2009, 04:22 PM

See....I just wouldn't bother getting married if I felt that way. Not saying it's wrong of you to feel that way, but no point in marriage really.

Davachka · 07-21-2009, 04:40 PM

Keep it in your name, why shouldn't you? And though some may not agree with how you word it, you are just being realistic. Aren't prenups about mine and yours and protecting yourself? Most aren't against them....so I say do what you need to to keep yourself protected. And he should not even be suggesting to put his name on the house, if you are purchasing it all on your own.

sheriwx · 07-21-2009, 04:41 PM

Why are you even concerned about it being "fair" to have only your name on the house? If you know already that in a divorce scenario assets will be split equally, why does it even MATTER whose name is on the deed? If you didn't want to share, you shouldn't have gotten married. In that particular situation, I would put my husband's name on the deed, because I love him and all assets became "our" assets when we married, rather than being nit-picky about what's 'mine' and 'yours'.

It really depends on how understanding your husband is, I guess. If I were him, I would feel that leaving me off of the lease "just because it's fair" was you being intentionally hurtful. But he knows you much better than I do, and he may understand your reasoning. Personally, I don't.

Edited to add: If you have an actual REASON for putting it in your name, like, you want to make sure it's yours in case of a divorce and there is a prenup in place, that makes more sense.

Keeper · 07-21-2009, 05:03 PM

I have to agree with the majority here. It seems to me that if you are married it should be shared.. what if he worked and made the money and you were a stay at home wife, since he makes all the money does he get the house in his name only?

MMichelle · 07-21-2009, 05:18 PM

Wow. I disagree with most of the posts.
First off, congratualtions. On both counts - marriage and having the wisdom (& ability)to pay cash for a home. If more Americans had equity in their homes we would not be in the state we are in!

To understand correctly - You, Jane, are buying the house with your cash. Your name should be the only one on the title. IMO

There's a few ways you can take title to the house. (check with your lawyer - this info is based on CO) 1. Severality, yourself alone. 2. tenants in common, you own the house 50 / 50 - so you would be giving him 50% of the house. 3. joint tenancy, you both own the house with undivided interest. Upon death the other owns the house. However the house will most likly become marital property and subject to division in a divorce settlement.

You could leave the house to your new husband via your will. If you take title as joint tenancy, you will have no way of protecting the asset in case of divorce. I hope you have a pre-marital agreement, if not you should draw one up prior to buying this house.

There are many ways of protecting your husband in case of death - but this is a new marriage and you must consider protecting yourself if you become divorced as 50% of married couples do.
Take care.

janetreb · 07-21-2009, 05:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MMichelle

Wow. I disagree with most of the posts.
First off, congratualtions. On both counts - marriage and having the wisdom (& ability)to pay cash for a home. If more Americans had equity in their homes we would not be in the state we are in!

To understand correctly - You, Jane, are buying the house with your cash. Your name should be the only one on the title. IMO.

Thanks MMichelle for the congrats. Yes, I could be paying for the house with my cash only, but my husband wants to be on the title too so he is putting what little he has in savings to contribute. Essentially, it's still my pre-marital cash that is buying the entire house because his cash would have been going towards some of the moving expenses, household expenses, furniture, etc which would consume all of his savings.

We are closing soon on the house with both our names. Before we got married, I wanted to buy property under my name only but he didn't think it felt right since we'll be married soon and we should think as a team. I just didn't see why it should offend him if I didn't put his name on a house he doesn't pay for. In worst case scenario, it will be half his anyway. I know I am "gifting" half the property to him now and am doing so to start this marriage right and I think he would do the same if the roles were reversed.

sierraAZ · 07-21-2009, 08:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by janetreb

We are closing soon on the house with both our names. Before we got married, I wanted to buy property under my name only but he didn't think it felt right since we'll be married soon and we should think as a team. I just didn't see why it should offend him if I didn't put his name on a house he doesn't pay for. In worst case scenario, it will be half his anyway. I know I am "gifting" half the property to him now and am doing so to start this marriage right and I think he would do the same if the roles were reversed.

Sticky and dangerous situation... Have you run this money through a joint account already? Because worse come to worse, if you have proof where this money comes from and that it was yours prior to the marriage, I don't believe he'll get half of the house, not even in a community property state.

Once I lived in a house and I wasn't either on the title or on the mortgage. I wasn't planning on fighting on anything, but I did talk with a pretty good lawyer in town. She told me that whatever little equity was accumulated during the marriage is offset by the equivalent "rent" I would've been paying... And AZ is a community property state.