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Yes it's cheating. It is still an emotional affair. I wonder if they all know about each other? Get out while you can. He's sharing intimate moments that are supposed to be reserved for the woman he's going to spend his life with, not a harem. If you stay, you will never know if he has actually stopped the other relationships even if he says he has.
I found out last year after 4 years of marriage that my husband had an online "friendship" that started while we were on a break and had been going on the entire time were were married. When I found out, he was no longer speaking to her, and swears that it only became sexual for a short time when he and I were having trouble in that area. I didn't leave him because although it hurt me, he didn't actually "do" anything and according to him it was mostly just someone to talk to.
The problem is that it's been over a year and I still feel like our relationship, atleast partly, has been built on a lie. If we weren't married and pregnant when I found out, I would have atleast left him temporarily to make a point. We will be going into marriage counseling when his medical benefits kick in at his new job. And although I know I will probably find out a few things I didn't want to know, I rather know sooner rather than later
When you say it became sexual for only a short time, do you mean the TALK became sexual???
Yeah, she lives in Canada and we lived in either the UK or Florida so I know the TALK part is true. But who knows, there could have been a webcam involved.
Problem with things like this is that I don't even know 100% that he isn't still talking to her or someone else for that matter. And there's no way to know for sure. Plus saying it was only sexual talk for that short time was probably a lie anyway. I still don't trust him.
Yeah, she lives in Canada and we lived in either the UK or Florida so I know the TALK part is true. But who knows, there could have been a webcam involved.
Problem with things like this is that I don't even know 100% that he isn't still talking to her or someone else for that matter. And there's no way to know for sure. Plus saying it was only sexual talk for that short time was probably a lie anyway. I still don't trust him.
If you want to know for sure if he is still talking to this person or someone, contact me and I will show you how. The important thing in my opinion is either prove to yourself he IS cheating or prove to yourself he is NOT then let it go, the continued ongoing suspicions will tear your lives apart.
I was married to an Englishman who seemed very nerdy on the outside but he sure knew how to find ladies on the internet...I caught him red handed when I checked his email and found all the wonderul conversations AND proof that rather then being with his family he was at that point in a hotel with her...
I made it clear to my husband when I decided to stay that if I ever found out he was doing ANYTHING ever again, it would be over. So, he will either never do it again, or make damn sure I don't EVER find out.
To be honest, with what it was and it being supposedly over and done with, I wish I didn't know. We were in a really great place in our relationship when I found out, was about 3 months pregnant, things were pretty good financially and we liked where we were living (Tampa). Since then, I just have to look back and wonder how much of the past 6 years were actually sincere on his part.
I'm going to keep working on it and if we can't get back there, even with some help, I guess it's over. SE LA VI !!!
If you want to know for sure if he is still talking to this person or someone, contact me and I will show you how. The important thing in my opinion is either prove to yourself he IS cheating or prove to yourself he is NOT then let it go, the continued ongoing suspicions will tear your lives apart.
I was married to an Englishman who seemed very nerdy on the outside but he sure knew how to find ladies on the internet...I caught him red handed when I checked his email and found all the wonderul conversations AND proof that rather then being with his family he was at that point in a hotel with her...
I think the "letting it go" part is what is the hardest thing. If I can learn to do that, we might make it. But, if nothing else the counseling will help us communicate better.
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Relationships are hard enough without the "over and above" disappointments. When you find one of those and it makes you feel cheated, deprived, disillusioned, etc., you start to distrust everything afterwards.
It takes a special person to TRULY forgive and forget and be able to get back to the pre-discovery point.
To me it is like being a juror and having heard something that is not admissible and is not to influence the verdict. Maybe you can do that. I probably could in THAT setting but not when it comes to the person that I am supposed to "trust" day in, day out, in my mind, body and soul.
I recently found that my fiance has been writing to several other women over the internet and I found the e-mails. They are all very suggestive and sexual and he talks to them about things that he and I have shared. He cannot understand why I am upset. I told him I have given him everything one woman can give a man, emotionally, sexually, spiritually, etc....and I don't know what else to do. I told him I didn't feel I was enough, and he SWEARS over and over again that I am enough woman for him, yet he has this need to write these woman and discuss all this. They have even sent him photos of themselves and he kept them until recently, so he says. He says he doesn't feel like it is cheating at all since there is no physical contact and this is all just e-mail bull. I consider it every-bit cheating, especially when he is telling a woman what he would do to her if he was with her.....which what is worse, is that it is all the same stuff he says to me when we are together physically. What are your thoughts?
You're right to feel the way that you do. He is wrong for doing this and it's a GIANT red flag for him to be soliciting other women online. Consider yourself fortunate that you've found this out before you were married. I'm sorry to say this, hurt feelings are perhaps the worst of all. He sounds like a jerk to me.
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I know what you mean!
