Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Trust me, I'm not trying to create drama teatime. You don't know my wife. This would definitely *not* create drama, because her reaction to it would not be dramatic. She has a very keen and compassionate understanding of human nature. If I thought there was any chance that this would stir anything up, I would definitely not tell .. I'm just curious if this is something she'd want to know .. judging from the early posts, I'm guessing ... NO!
That's good. I'm wondering why the dude's brother felt the need to bring this up again? It's gossip, at this point, and can be hurtful.
Trust me, I'm not trying to create drama teatime. You don't know my wife. This would definitely *not* create drama, because her reaction to it would not be dramatic. She has a very keen and compassionate understanding of human nature. If I thought there was any chance that this would stir anything up, I would definitely not tell .. I'm just curious if this is something she'd want to know .. judging from the early posts, I'm guessing ... NO!
Its not really about your wife as much as its about your mother-in-law. Since she knew about it but didn't share it with her daughter, I have a feeling that if you told your wife and she let it slip to ANYONE that your mother in law would feel shamed. Would you want to do that to her? - the innocent party in the affair? Please - let her keep her dignity and let "sleeping dogs lay". Don't say a word to anyone!
Its not really about your wife as much as its about your mother-in-law. Since she knew about it but didn't share it with her daughter, I have a feeling that if you told your wife and she let it slip to ANYONE that your mother in law would feel shamed. Would you want to do that to her? - the innocent party in the affair? Please - let her keep her dignity and let "sleeping dogs lay". Don't say a word to anyone!
That's a really good point, but a tough call. I'd feel bad if I didn't tell my SO. I don't think it's fair that I know something about his parents that he doesn't.
Its not really about your wife as much as its about your mother-in-law. Since she knew about it but didn't share it with her daughter, I have a feeling that if you told your wife and she let it slip to ANYONE that your mother in law would feel shamed. Would you want to do that to her? - the innocent party in the affair? Please - let her keep her dignity and let "sleeping dogs lay". Don't say a word to anyone!
Edit: OK, I reread it and I think I'm confused. Did the father-in-law AND brother-in-law have affairs or was it just the father-in-law? It isn't clear if the brother-in-law was talking about himself or his brother. Don't know why the brother-in-law would be dredging this up but I still don't think he'd want you blabbing it to your wife and creating a big family crisis. If her parents are OK now and stable why on Earth would you want to force them to re-visit it all with their kids? That sounds really cruel.
Tea, we're talking about my father-in-law, not his brother. His brother told me (not to be malicious .. he just has a big mouth sometimes .. I think he assumed I already knew because he thought I read it between the lines when it happened .. well, I didn't. I wasn't around much when this happened, but there were some questions in my mind and my wife's about why dad suddenly quit a good job and he and mom seemed to be fighting .. something they rarely do.)
I can tell you right now with certainity if I told my wife it would not go anywhere from there. I'm just racking my head trying to figure out if she would feel betrayed by me for not telling her .. she does not appreciate being treated like a child. She's a big girl, and she can handle adult information like one ... still, wow ... this is her dad. I'm thinking I shouldn't tell her, but that somehow feels wrong too .. telling and not telling both seem wrong. I wish I could just forget this.
That's a really good point, but a tough call. I'd feel bad if I didn't tell my SO. I don't think it's fair that I know something about his parents that he doesn't.
I'd bet that wouldn't be the only secret you wouldn't tell your SO... Honesty and unnecessary full disclosure are two different things.
Tea, we're talking about my father-in-law, not his brother. His brother told me (not to be malicious .. he just has a big mouth sometimes .. I think he assumed I already knew because he thought I read it between the lines when it happened .. well, I didn't. I wasn't around much when this happened, but there were some questions in my mind and my wife's about why dad suddenly quit a good job and he and mom seemed to be fighting .. something they rarely do.)
I can tell you right now with certainity if I told my wife it would not go anywhere from there. I'm just racking my head trying to figure out if she would feel betrayed by me for not telling her .. she does not appreciate being treated like a child. She's a big girl, and she can handle adult information like one ... still, wow ... this is her dad. I'm thinking I shouldn't tell her, but that somehow feels wrong too .. telling and not telling both seem wrong.
I wish I could just forget this.
Then do it!
Did you read what VA-cat wrote??? Don't you think if your wife's mother didn't confide in her that she does not want this info to be known?? She is the innocent person who was hurt by his actions - leave her with her dignity.
WestCobb,
I truly believe that adult children shouldn't be privy to their parents' sex lives. It's really none of their business. I STILL can't get out of my head the fact that my mom told me she didn't sleep with my dad for many years and that she only married him because all of the other eligible men in her neighborhood had gone off to WWII. My dad didn't pass the physical.
I HATE knowing this and there's no reason why I SHOULD know it. Both of my parents are now dead and I'm left with these sad thoughts about their relationship. It stinks. PLEASE do not do this to your wife.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.